One to two times a week, I get an email from a concerned reader about my refusal to use apostrophes.
YOU WRITED GUD BUT YOU HAS NO APOSTRAPHES AND U NEED TEHM. NO APOSTRAPHES IS DISTRACTING. K? THNKXBAI.
So it pleases me greatly to see the death of another form of punctuation documented so thoroughly:
By 1865, grammarian Justin Brenan could boast of “The rejection of the eternal semicolons of our ancestors. … The semicolon has been gradually disappearing, not only from newspapers, but from books–insomuch that I believe instances could now be produced, of entire pages without a single semicolon.”
WHOOO!! If you can dream it, you can do it! Death to apostrophes!
This article has also confirmed my deepest, darkest fears about those who use proper punctuation:
…the last writers to receive much notice for semicolon use have been a New York City Transit employee and the Son of Sam. In 1977 the NYPD speculated that “the killer could be a freelance journalist” because of his “use of a semicolon” in his taunting letters.
Forget what the world would be like if Dominionsts win… What would our lives be like if GRAMMAR NAZIS were in charge? *shudders*