Two words:
New T-shirt.
Ive had my eye on these shirts for a while, but it took an ‘I hate all of my clothes’ moment, plus a plug from Skepchick to get me to finally order one of these (taken with a digital camera from 1992 Mom and Dad still cant figure out how to use):

I really wanted to get one of those ‘teach the controversy’ shirts… But I was genuinely worried that some in OK might not ‘get’ the joke… I also loved the ‘SCIENCE!’ with the scientists cheering over a mushroom cloud… but again… afraid no one would get the joke…
So just the microbe wrangler for now