A movie review.

So I saw EXPELLED this weekend.

My review is two words: Thats it?

Thats it? Thats what caused a humagiganitisoid blagosphere hubub? OMG it was so boring! I got bored 15 minutes in, started cleaning the apartment while watching. Made it to 45 minutes in before just paused it and watched a documentary on Animal Planet ‘Growing up Walrus’ (really good, btw). Forced myself to watch another 30 minutes of EXPELLED, left to go see a documentary about Mardi Gras with some friends ‘The Order of Myths’ (really good, btw). Finally watched the rest of EXPELLED.

EXPELLED was boring.

I understand now why they kept slicing minutes off of it. I would have shot myself in the head it it was 110 minutes long instead of 90.

They expect kids to watch this?

They should sell EXPELLED with a box of Legos so kids can amuse themselves when they lose interest in the movie 15 minutes in.

Shit.

And was this movie supposed to be funny? I loled twice.
1) IDiot Engor getting 15 seconds screen time. His eyes welled up with tears as he bawwed “BLOGGERS WER MEAN TO ME!!!” And that was it. It was pathetic and hysterical.
2) Ben Steins ‘surprise’ visit to the Discovery Institute offices. They ‘barged’ right in, and all the Kreationist Kids working there peered curiously at Stein. None of them say a word or move to greet him. They just look at him like a confused Scooby Doo. Oh, and you get to see Casey Luskin here– always lulz worthy. But the real reason this scene was funny is that we know exactly how DI Tards react to uninvited guests. They do not cock their heads and stare. Anika charges like a bull lookin to get some, and Casey wont shut up. lol Liars.

So, I mean, thats it? We were all worked up over 90 minutes of terrible camera work (maybe counting the pores in Ben Steins nose would be fun, if you were drunk), stock footage, and Ben Stein wandering around talking to people.

Meh.

Oh, wait, I did learn something! So like, I had no idea who Douglas Axe was. I mean I knew who he ‘was’, but I couldnt pick him out of a crowd. I assumed he was some jowled Tard like the rest of em. Turns out hes actually kinda cute! Ill take a screen shot of him later (cant find any pics of him online). Too bad the shit he was talking about made me want to throw up (a dinner date would be out of the question), but I would totally watch him deliver a lecture on mute. Um, so… YAY?

Absolute waste of time. Not funny. No lulz. Nothing you havent heard before. Pathetic.

Comments

  1. #1 Magnus
    October 27, 2008

    That sounds a lot the experience I had watching it. I spread it out over two days with several breaks. I usually did other things while watching, e.g eat food and think about RTS games. I actually didn’t finish it because I figured that they couldn’t possibly have anything interesting to show me.

    You’re right about the camera work as well. That’s the kind of way you would expect the movie to be shot if it was an improvised indie film or a hidden camera gig. I guess they were hoping to score some Dogme 95 points in Europe.

    I actually saw Stein try to deny that he was making a connection between evolution and Nazism on Hannity and Colmes. Watching that might be worth a few lulz.

    I am MUCH more concerned about the Texas school board than about Expelled. I don’t really see Ben Stein’s self-endorsed masturbations convincing anyone that ID has a place in science. He will only make creationist parents more afraid. But the religious right can manage to get real science taken out of or downplayed in science classes. Learning science is the only reliable way the open minded children can find reality.

  2. #2 Rev. BigDumbChimp, KoT, OM
    October 27, 2008

    Oh that Mardi Gras documentary looks great.

    I’ll have to watch it.

    Still undecided on watching Expelled. Probably won’t.

  3. #3 minusRusty
    October 27, 2008

    Just think, without Expelled, Beware the Believers would’ve never been made!

  4. #4 Shane Killian
    October 27, 2008

    I made a subtitle file correcting the misinformation. I think it actually makes it watchable. I tried to correct as much as I could while also delivering some fascinating science on the subject. Links and instructions are here:

    http://www.bogosity.tv/forum/index.php?topic=27.0

    Watch it with a friend!

  5. #5 Sili
    October 27, 2008

    Douglas Axe was … actually kinda cute! Ill take a screen shot of him later (cant find any pics of him online). I would totally watch him deliver a lecture on mute. Um, so… YAY?

    Dear sir/madam,

    I would like to register a complaint about the blatant objectification of an unsuscepting male on your vile blogotron.

    Yours in KaRe,
    - Brigadeer, Sir Malcom Fforbes-Ffolkes (mrs)

  6. #6 Joshua Zelinsky
    October 27, 2008

    Maybe if they make a sequel they can have a bit for the het males and the gay females? Up next: Ben Stein interviews every single female with finite Erdos-Bacon number. Mmmmh.

  7. #7 The Chimp's Raging Id
    October 27, 2008

    So that would be Natalie Portman aaaaaaaaaaandd..?

    As for Expelled… meh. Got far better things to do with my time.

  8. #8 PAtrick
    October 27, 2008

    I agree. The film was not only intellectually bereft, but it was a chore to watch.

    I had grand plans for taking in and taking apart my illegally downloaded copy of Expelled. I was going to live-blog (or pause-blog anyway) the whole film. With two blog posts down (here and here) and only 25 minutes into the film, I just abandoned the exercise. It just wasn’t worth the effort. There was hardly anything in this film worth noting.

    Did anyone else get their hackles up when Stein basically said the Miller-Urey was a complete failure? Far from the only outright lie, but he made it sound like Miller walked away from his failed life’s-work slump-shouldered and dejected.

  9. #9 Joshua Zelinsky
    October 27, 2008

    Chimp, Danica McKellar of course.

  10. #10 clevedan
    October 27, 2008

    my reaction exactly…That is 5 hrs that my bit torrent will never get back…..

  11. #11 SteveWH
    October 28, 2008

    I will have to get a copy to watch. My living room could stand to be vacuumed.

  12. #12 Bueller_007
    October 28, 2008

    For those still looking, it’s on YouTube here. Please for the love of Zombie Jesus don’t pay for this shit.

    http://ca.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=CCB4641EB815B6BE

  13. #13 Kapitano
    October 29, 2008

    Turns out hes actually kinda cute!

    Cute creationists?! Does not compute!

    Apart from maybe Kirk Cameron. Hmmm.

    Maybe they should do a male pin-up creationist calender? Like the skep-chicks did but…male and mad. I’d buy one. With a set of darts.

  14. #14 wesele
    October 30, 2008

    Did anyone else get their hackles up when Stein basically said the Miller-Urey was a complete failure? Far from the only outright lie, but he made it sound like Miller walked away from his failed life’s-work slump-shouldered and dejected.

  15. #15 Tatarize
    November 2, 2008

    Yeah, I watched it and did a play by play on my blog. I was astounded to find myself only half way through. It felt like hours. That’s some boredom. I’m thinking not only should ID be given no airtime or credit, we’d be better off paying very little attention to them.

  16. #16 Mike Toreno
    November 3, 2008

    I couldn’t do it. I got through more than half of it, but once they were starting to get into the Darwin=Hitler bit, I couldn’t do it any more. I learned the extent to which they had Lord Privy Seals in the movie when they mentioned knitting and cut to stock footage of – someone knitting!

  17. #17 William Wallace
    November 7, 2008

    Nothing you haven’t heard before, perhaps, but people who do not follow the “as the evolander world turns” drama did find it interesting, at least according to people I know who finally got around to watching it via netflix.

    I do agree that Ben Stein in high definition leaves much to be desired, as does PZ Myers’ failure to trim his mustache. Watching that piece of lunch–or was it a booger?–on the end of his outlier mustache hair was enough to make we want to puke.