So I saw EXPELLED this weekend.
My review is two words: Thats it?
Thats it? Thats what caused a humagiganitisoid blagosphere hubub? OMG it was so boring! I got bored 15 minutes in, started cleaning the apartment while watching. Made it to 45 minutes in before just paused it and watched a documentary on Animal Planet ‘Growing up Walrus’ (really good, btw). Forced myself to watch another 30 minutes of EXPELLED, left to go see a documentary about Mardi Gras with some friends ‘The Order of Myths’ (really good, btw). Finally watched the rest of EXPELLED.
EXPELLED was boring.
I understand now why they kept slicing minutes off of it. I would have shot myself in the head it it was 110 minutes long instead of 90.
They expect kids to watch this?
They should sell EXPELLED with a box of Legos so kids can amuse themselves when they lose interest in the movie 15 minutes in.
And was this movie supposed to be funny? I loled twice.
1) IDiot Engor getting 15 seconds screen time. His eyes welled up with tears as he bawwed “BLOGGERS WER MEAN TO ME!!!” And that was it. It was pathetic and hysterical.
2) Ben Steins ‘surprise’ visit to the Discovery Institute offices. They ‘barged’ right in, and all the Kreationist Kids working there peered curiously at Stein. None of them say a word or move to greet him. They just look at him like a confused Scooby Doo. Oh, and you get to see Casey Luskin here– always lulz worthy. But the real reason this scene was funny is that we know exactly how DI Tards react to uninvited guests. They do not cock their heads and stare. Anika charges like a bull lookin to get some, and Casey wont shut up. lol Liars.
So, I mean, thats it? We were all worked up over 90 minutes of terrible camera work (maybe counting the pores in Ben Steins nose would be fun, if you were drunk), stock footage, and Ben Stein wandering around talking to people.
Oh, wait, I did learn something! So like, I had no idea who Douglas Axe was. I mean I knew who he ‘was’, but I couldnt pick him out of a crowd. I assumed he was some jowled Tard like the rest of em. Turns out hes actually kinda cute! Ill take a screen shot of him later (cant find any pics of him online). Too bad the shit he was talking about made me want to throw up (a dinner date would be out of the question), but I would totally watch him deliver a lecture on mute. Um, so… YAY?
Absolute waste of time. Not funny. No lulz. Nothing you havent heard before. Pathetic.