Obama crowds: “I didn’t see any real men anywhere. No walrus mustaches or anchor tattoos.”

Posted by ERV on November 5, 2008
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I survived yesterday :) Back to normal science programming soon.

But for all of you working to ween yourself off of politics news, Ive got a nicotine patch for ya: Freepers and RR.

Bask in the schadenfreude. Come down off the laughing gas. Get back to work :P

OH! And Im sure you all know what my recommendation is for Malia and Sashas new puppy!! Im SO glad NYT chose to quote the Human Society of the United States, Animal Liberation Front pieces of shit in their coverage of this fun event. *rolleyes*

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  1. #1 tresmal
    November 5, 2008

    Those (Free Conservative and Rapture Ready) are two seriously disturbed sites. So these are the people who think that W was hand picked by Jesus.

  2. #2 LanceR, JSG
    November 5, 2008

    Oh.
    My.
    Nonexistent.
    Gawd.

    I am absolutely amazed that people really think like that. And their little heads don’t burst under the pressure!

    Yikes.

  3. #3 becca
    November 5, 2008

    We all appreciate the superior adorability of Arnie, but he isn’t hypoallergenic, is he?

  4. #4 Eric Saveau
    November 5, 2008

    Jeeeeebus, Abbie! Those links are weapons-grade fucknuttery; I think I need to go wash my brain out with bleach just in case there’s any toxic residue left behind…

  5. #5 Capital Dan
    November 5, 2008

    My favorite from the Rapture Ready folks:

    It is possible that God gave this God rejecting country a leader it wanted/deserved. Obama may allow this country to flow with Gods’ end time plan perfectly. Without the mention of the US in end time prophecy you wonder what happened to the US ?

    Really. This one’s right on the edge of figuring it out. So, so close…

  6. #6 Joshua Zelinsky
    November 5, 2008

    The rapture ready thread is fascinating. Among other pointers it shows that even Star Wars fans can be idiots. This comment by eve_anne_gelical “Not too mention I have listen the arguing of my unsaved husband yelling at me that I’m “dense and stupid” and don’t understand why Obama won and that the states that voted for McCain were redneck and racist…oh dear Jesus , I’m going to take a bath, cry my eyes out, talk to Jesus and go to bed…” doesn’t suggest that these people live in the most functional environments.

    (Also, isn’t that link to Free Conservatives not Free Republic? Different examples of right-wing crazies). As I understand it Free Republic has the decency to moderate the most extremely violent or racist material. Free Conservatives does not. I don’t normally read it. But wow, that thread is one cesspool of racism and stupidty.

  7. #7 Capital Dan
    November 5, 2008

    Joshua. I almost forgot. I was watching the Free Republic threads for a bit last night as the results came in, and it was flat-out one of the most entertaining things I’d ever seen. Those Freepers are the lowest of the low, and watching them crap themselves silly was a thing of beauty. There were even lunatics looking for information on joining the John Birch Society.

  8. #8 Tatarize
    November 5, 2008

    Thank you. I was in my withdrawals wondering what I could do after this. It’s a sure win but nothing left to do in the future. Just wide open nothing to do. Checking a few lingering races (Merkley won, Chambliss goes to runoff, Stevens somehow gets votes despite being a convicted felon, Franken waits for recount, Burner is a nail-biter)… but for the most part I got nothing. Then you reminded me there are still the hearts of the enemy to devour! MUAHAHAHAHAAHAHA…

  9. #9 Moopheus
    November 5, 2008

    “it shows that even Star Wars fans can be idiots”

    This comes somehow as a surprise to you?

    Thanks for that. I made the mistake of looking around the RR site, especially the threads on “other religions”–amazing amount of anticatholic stuff. Mormons and Jehovah’s Witnesses also getting no respect.

  10. #10 Daddy Stegosaurus
    November 5, 2008

    Wow!
    Dear imaginary baby jeebus please come and get your followers soon!

  11. #11 Darek
    November 5, 2008

    Oh snap, I need to get started on growing a walrus mustache before someone acuses me of being a liberal euro sissy.

    I need to be a real man, for Jeebus!

  12. #12 Joshua Zelinsky
    November 5, 2008

    Moopheus, not really. But it is always disappointing when one enjoys something that one considers to be clever and well done and then fines out that a complete retard enjoys it. But as of yet, I have not to encounter any asses who enjoy Dr. Horrible. So if you run across pro Dr. Horrible posts on Free Republic or RR please don’t tell me about them. Let me keep my delusion.

  13. #13 SteveC
    November 5, 2008

    Heh. I’d been browsing the freeconservatives site the last few days myself, just to see what they’re thinking. Craziness, mostly. Doesn’t give much hope for bipartisan cooperation.

    Hmm, in 2004, I wonder if that’s what I looked like to the likes of them? OTOH, how close to reality are those people’s impressions of anyone? Not too close, I’d say.

    As for bipartisan cooperation, I have not much hope anyway, as, from what I can tell, the Republicans are just plain insane. I mean, really, really insane. There’s no cooperating with insanity, much as it’d be a nice idea to unify people. When half the people you’re trying to cooperate with are just plain insane, it’s just not going to happen.

    As the onion said, “Black man given worst job in the U.S.” and “job so bad, only one other person bothered to apply.” Enough truth in that to make a body laugh.

    Still, I hope Obama turns out to be the greatest president we’ve ever had. Failing that, just don’t fuck up too bad.

  14. #14 Dustin
    November 5, 2008

    “Bipartisanship” can kiss my ass for the next two years. We have a majority, it’s time to get some shit done, and get it done as quickly as possible.

  15. #15 Joshua Zelinsky
    November 5, 2008

    Dustin, or you could you know, try to be a bit left of center and make the moderates like me not feel like we made a mistake in voting for Obama? Please?

  16. #16 Hydra
    November 6, 2008

    Love it! I did a post on conservatives’ reactions as well. It took me to places that even H.P. Lovecraft would be afraid of. *shudders*

    Hopefully, the Republican party will take the hint and try to be more centrist next time around; their utter dependency on the jingoist religious nuts is quite frightening.

    And I love the dog recommendation! I used to have a cute little black dachshund with a white stripe running down its chest like that. A little kid came up to him once and called him a skunk! :D

  17. #17 Joshua Zelinsky
    November 6, 2008

    Hydra, love your post. But you do know by the way that Lovecraft was actually pretty racist and reactionary?

  18. #18 JD
    November 6, 2008

    Christ on a cracker, reading that RR site is like mental torture. “Two girls, one cup” has greater aesthetic value and is far less offensive.

    Those brain-dead, cretin death cultists are “praying” for Jeebus to kill them. I wish I had not followed Abbie’s link. That site is just too disturbing.

  19. #19 David Marjanovi?
    November 6, 2008

    I call Poe’s Law on the quote in the headline.

    (And, no, I am not going to go “beyond stupid into a realm where even stupid is afraid to show its face” [anonymous Dan in a similar context] to look for evidence for or against that. I still need my brain.)

  20. #20 MH
    November 6, 2008

    I’d love to see the Obamas rescue an ex-racing greyhound. They are hypo-allergenic, have great temperaments, and don’t require much exercise. I don’t know what policies are like in the US, but in the UK thousands are euthanized every year when they cease to become competitive. It’s shameful that the RSPCA is so silent on the issue.

    Regarding websites, if you think RR is scary, you should check out StormFront, the ‘white pride’ (i.e. neo-nazi) forum. They think their world has ended because their new president has slightly more melanin in his skin then they are comfortable with.

  22. #22 Tophe
    November 6, 2008

    Maybe they could buy a pitbull and name it Lipstick… :D

  23. #23 Sili
    November 6, 2008

    I strongly disapprove of the anti-cat bias in the US public.

    Sox was way better than Buddy. So there!

  24. #24 Bayesian Bouffant, FCD
    November 6, 2008

    Sox was way better than Buddy. So there!

    Having both a cat and a dog was Clinton’s nod to bipartisanship.

  25. #25 The Chimp's Raging Id
    November 6, 2008

    Maybe they could buy a pitbull and name it Lipstick…

    WIN :D

  26. #26 ERV
    November 6, 2008

    Big win, Tophe! +25 internets to you!

    After seeing this video, a pit bull would be a vastly safer dog for the White House.

    Oh, wait, Im not supposed to judge a breed based on the behavior of one dog with idiot owners.

  27. #27 Tophe
    November 7, 2008

    *bows*

    I owed you at least one funny after all the funnies you’ve given us :D

  28. #28 Dustin
    November 7, 2008

    Dustin, or you could you know, try to be a bit left of center and make the moderates like me not feel like we made a mistake in voting for Obama? Please?

    No. If there was, for you, any question about which way this election should have gone, then you haven’t been paying enough attention during the last eight years to even justify voting. I sure as hell am not going to try to appease you.

  29. #29 EyeNoU
    November 9, 2008

    Quote from the Freepers link:

    “The confederate flag stands for the America I love, one with states’ rights and no redistribution of wealth…..”

    He doesn’t think holding someone against their will, forcing him to work, and keeping the fruits of that labor is redistribution of wealth? WTF?

  30. #30 Monado in Toronto
    November 17, 2008

    News flash: Obama won Florida with over 200,000 votes! Finally counted.