Posted by ERV on November 10, 2008 A publisher has asked if I can suggest someone to give a me Foreword for my new book, You Can Lead an Atheist to Evidence, But You Can’t Make Him Think.
Any takers? If we use it, I will make sure you get attribution. The book is due out Jan/Feb. 2009, so you will need to be quick. Thanks.
Can you give a Comfort Forward?
You no write Need to so guD.
LOLcats may apply;m if can a types fastest\
An ironic title. I still have not heard from Comfort RE his $10000 challenge.
As a terrified atheist, I can assure you I am TERRIFIED of Ray Comfort. Reverend Comfort has a TREMENDOUS banana and he knows how to use it. Did I mention I was TERRIFIED?
Did I miss some cosmic joke or is “Atheist Central” anything but?
One sentence: Show me evidence that doesn’t involve bananas, and I’ll think about it.
Hmm, here’s an idea:
I can haz evudense nao? kthxbai.
[both fists in the air]
CUT-TLE-FISH!! CUT-TLE-FISH!! CUT-TLE-FISH!!
[/both fists in the air]
Wisdom lacking soul
Atheist seeking hopeful
Book in print not long
For those who are interested, there’s a blog out there that deals with Ray Comfort and other such hooey purveyors. (they’re branching out).
Ugh.
I used to go to ray’s blog relatively frequently but it is one of storehouses of some of the most highly concentrated idiocy one can find on the intartoobs
Why do so many things I see these days make me think, “Sokal hoax!”?
Here’s an open secret: Comfort is the Ann Coulter of creationists. He gets off on poking sticks in hornets’ nests. The easiest way to frustrate him is not to call him names, it’s to ignore him.
Some days I wonder what it must be like to be an impenetrable bastion of stupidity. It could be nice, living in your own private little world like Ray does.
Dear Reader. I hope you didn’t buy this book, unless it’s on the $.25 mark-down stack or at a used book store.
However you obtained the book, you MUST be prepared to deal with the toxic levels of tard included and the potential brain-cell loss that will result from reading and believing anything this idiot writes.
If you are reading this book to try to understand if someone could actually be this lame, then congratulations, yes they can. (I guess that last line might have to be re-worked now…).
Strange title for a man who has no college education. Ray, maybe you should read a few books besides the bible. I suggest Darwin’s Origin of the Species. Ya know, one little Biology 101 class at your local college is probably about $150. Think about it.
To whomever may read this tome:
The introduction that follows has nothing to do with the scientific research and conclusions Charles Darwin made 150 years ago. If you are interested in reading the unabridged text, put this book down and buy a proper edition, or find the complete text online (Project Gutenberg has several editions).
The arguments which follow between this foreword and the actual text include quote mines, logical fallacies, appeals to ignorance and terrible representations of science. If these arguments seem reasonable to you, the rest of the text will go far over your head.
If your teacher, professor or parent gave you this tome to read, get a new teacher, drop your class or ask to be adopted by another family.
Should you need to understand biology, a raving loon of an online troll such as Ray Comfort is not the one who can educate you. To find out about science from Mr. Comfort is akin to learning how to fix a car by listening to a bullfrog’s bellows.
Save yourself the time and money. If you’ve read this far, take heed of the warnings presented in this short foreword. Do yourself a favor, close this book, put it back on the shelf in the store or library, or if you already own it, find furniture which needs leveling to put these pages to good use.
Stay rational,
Christopher Bair
-I suggest Darwin’s Origin of the Species-
I wouldn’t. Bored me silly. He should read “Your Inner Fish”. Musch more accessible.
Of course it won’t make any difference, but we can at least say we tried….again.
My suggestion:
WARNING! Multiple and severe face-palms and head-desks are likely to occur when reading this book. The use of a helmet and visor is therefore essential.
I just thought he might like to read Darwin before he tries to refute Darwin. Of course, even Darwin was wrong about some things – it’s been a century and a half – but it is still worth a read. How many anti-evolutionists can actually say they read the whole thing?
i think ziztur would be perfect: http://www.ziztur.com/
Offered with apologies to David Macaulay author of “Motel of the Mysteries”.
.
.
Introduction to the Mutilated, Manipulated and Patently Incorrect TARD Edition of Charles Robert Darwin’s Origin of Species
The hideous preface to a marvelous book abridged by creatures, who could not read is preserved herein for purposes of reference and posterity. Let this relic serve as a cautionary tale about introducing an invasive destructive subspecies.
TARDS once roamed the plains of North America eating, defecating and burning their way across a vast swath of the geography of the western intellectual tradition. The mechanisms that created the great TARD swarms of late 20th century were herd concentration and profligacy.
Though abysmal failures at caring for their offspring, choosing instead to focus exclusively on the fetal stage of development, they reproduced in such abundance that those that died of medical neglect or merely left in the parking lots of monster truck rallies, formed hardly a blip on the radar of evolutionary attrition.
What follows was prepared by a small entrenched enclave of TARD led by a practitioner of “TARD Theater”. (A now extinct art form in which one TARD says something and another TARD responds, a signal then advised a captive mass of TARD observers how they should react.) The lead TARD of this particular enclave is believed to have also been a prepubescent TARD masturbatory icon though no empirical evidence of this remains.
As you review this TARD source document you should note that the TARD culture lacked critical thinking, historical reference beyond last Thursday and was easily distracted by shiny objects.
It was finally resolved in 2014 to render the TARD extinct as a coordinated effort by Senator Abbie Smith (this country’s first individual to hold a PhD. in trolling), The National Severe Storms Laboratory and funding from the Richard Dawkins Foundation.
The development of Blijigibles (Bio luminescent Inflatable Jesus Dirigibles) and their systematic release during downpours, drowned over 90% of the TARD population who could not remember to close their mouths while staring into the sky. Loss of their coordinated herd defense structure resulted in the starvation of the balance of survivors. The collapse of the Walmart enterprise in concert with the inability to operate doorknobs is generally credited with the final blow.
PETA attempted for some time to maintain a small population but failing to realize that TARD thrive on preserved meats and exhibit exclusively same gender sex preferences in captivity, they could not maintain stock beyond a single generation.
A large cross sectional DNA “zoo” is maintained at the San Diego frozen ark project consisting of donated samples from a Motel 6 near the main campus of the now defunct Liberty University.
A complete cryostatic TARD is on display in the lobby of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 1600 Clifton Rd, Atlanta, GA. Ask to see “The Luskin”.
Ethical debate continues over whether or not the United States should one day re-TARD.
Prometheus FTW!!
+3 internets!
And the crowd goes wild!
BEHOLD THE BANANA MAN!
What. I think it’s pretty good as a brief foreword. I’d use Comic Sans MS at 72pt.
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