Dawkins at OU: Super Mega Ultra Win

Chelsea: Hey, Scott just called.

Me: … Yeah…?

Chelsea: Were on the volunteer list.

Me: $^&#(&!! I never got an email from that chick telling us what to do! I thought they didnt want us?!?!

Chelsea: Me too… But we might as well go get a free T-shirt!

Me: FREE T-SHIRT! Ill be in Norman in 15 minutes!

When I got to Norman, I was expecting a circus.

Instead I was greeted by several hundred people casually standing in line, happily chatting with new friends about our dip-shit legislators, having a grand ol time.

So my ‘volunteer’ duties consisted of doing what I do best: Being Debbie Downer.

Me: You gotta take your bag back to your car. They wont let you in with a bag that big.

Person: Its not a bag, its my purse!

Me: Yeaaaah, youre gonna have to take it back to your car.

Person: But I parked way over by Really Far Away Building!

Me: Yeeeaaaaaahhhh, youre gonna have to take it back and put it in your trunk or something.

Despite the campus polices concerns that someone was going to blow us up with a purse bomb, there werent any protesters around. Not a damn one. Dawkins crew was filming the crowd, asking people what they thought about TARD Bill 1014/1015 and such, and they were like “Um, where are all the protesters?” I wandered around with them for a bit, but I couldnt even find one Trinity Spawn, so I had to leave the film crew disappointed.

The doors opened at ~5:30. People calmly flowed in. Campus security ran through purses/jackets at light speed. At ~15 till, everyone was in, so I slid in to grab a back seat. Once again, the crowd was *perfect*. The place was full, but no one had to be turned away (there were still some crappy seats left open). Everyone who wanted to see Dawkins, got to see Dawkins (unless they refused to take their gigantic bags back to their car :P).

We gave Dawkins a standing ovation before he even started. For respect, for thanks, and for ‘Holy crap, Richard Dawkins is speaking in Oklahoma right now. AAAAAAH!!!’

Dawkins started with a *perfect* reply to TARD Bills 1014/1015. He made fun of The Arguments Regarding Design– NOT Oklahoma. He praised our students, our Darwin Book Collection, our Natural History Museum… Then he donated $5,000 for Oklahomans for Excellence in Science Education. *blink* WHOOOO!!!!! His response was perfect.

Then he got into the meat of his talk. Others have gone over this, but others have left out a very important observation: Dawkins does ‘voices’ when he quotes people. You know, like how parents do ‘voices’ when they read to their kids? It was so lovely! I could have sat there listening to him read Chinese take-out menus, for all it mattered :)

The Q&A was great too. I was a little perturbed at a History of Science student asking a Q when he got to spend the day with Dawkins (share, kid), as there were three very long lines, and we didnt get to everyone. But everyones Qs were just super. About half way through, I turned to my friend Ian, and was like “Man we are SO a shoe-in for getting a DVD made of OUR talk! If they can filter out the occasional train whistle and clean up the auditorium-echo…”

Then The Crazy emerged. To our left, a nicely dressed gentleman lost it at the guy behind him “SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!”

Evidently the target of this guys blow up was a crazy ass mother fucker, because he proceeded to stand up and start screaming about God and Jesus (and something about being a biologist, lol wut?). Now, we were in a basketball auditorium. Instead of taking the easy, back exit, crazy ass mother fucker takes the awkward twisty front stairs and walks towards Dawkins, messing with his jacket and a weird metal thing around his neck the whole time. Others started booing and laughing when this guy started ranting, but honestly, I was fucking scared. I thought the guy was going to shoot/blow us all up.

Crazy mother fuckers are funny on YouTube.

They are not funny when they are 50 feet away from you.

But OUPD swiftly escorted the crazy ass mother fucker to the exit, including a guy I was making fun of all night because he was wearing his sunglasses indoors. Well, sorry security guy I was making fun of– You can wear sunglasses indoors all you want if you get rid of the crazies.

After about an hour of Qs, Dawkins got another standing ovation, and people started lining up for autographs. Alas, I hadnt eaten since noon, and by 9:30 I was about to resort to cannibalism, so I didnt stick around. I rounded up Vic and Richard Broughton and Nick Matzke and a few more cool pro-science folks and we got beer, pizza, and cheese-stuffed pretzels. YAY!

The evening ended when me and Ian walked Nick back to his bed-and-breakfast.

Me: Nick, I gotta pee before I drive home.

Nick: Come on up!…… Wait, is this part of a scheme to kidnap Dawkins?

Me: Where is Dawkins staying???

Nick: That room *points*

Me: Oh my god Im peeing 10 feet away from a sleeping Richard Dawkins. *blink* WHOOO!!!

Bye, Richard! Thanks for all the fish! And the $5,000!

Comments

  1. #1 Brian G.
    March 7, 2009

    I didn’t know you were there or I would’ve texted you when it was over. I thought it was a really good lecture, plus it was exciting to see him in person!

    Beer and pizza sounds more fun than what I did afterward, which was debate a creationist. At least he was willing to listen and not just rant…

  2. #2 Sili
    March 7, 2009

    Me: Oh my god Im peeing 10 feet away from a sleeping Richard Dawkins. *blink* WHOOO!!!

    :chokes on spit:

    Damn, woman! You’ll end up with a harem (sharem?) of old dudes this way.

  3. #3 SVN
    March 7, 2009

    I didn’t get on the volunteer list. I joked with my friends that they were racist. It was a great feeling though – to be surrounded by so many freethinkers. I was disappointed that no creationist nutjobs had the balls to debate anyone. That ‘biologist’ pissed me off to no ends though.

    We were on the opposite bleachers so I could barely hear what he said. I’m glad you have the partial recording of the outburst.

  4. #4 clinteas
    March 7, 2009

    Watched the YT vid via Greg last nite(my time),and laughed my ass off.His response to this laughable bill was sharp,appropriate,totally dignified,with just the right amount of snark.Beautiful.

  5. #5 Rayven Alandria
    March 7, 2009

    Now I’m depressed about not going. I coulda pee’d ten feet away from Dawkins too. *sigh*

  6. #6 Dr Benway
    March 7, 2009

    Me: Oh my god Im peeing 10 feet away from a sleeping Richard Dawkins. *blink* WHOOO!!!

    SWEET!

    Wait, what am I saing…

  7. #7 Doc Bill
    March 7, 2009

    I have peed with TWO Nobel Prize winners (on separate occasions.)

    Let me just say from experience that it is not the ideal time to bring up your grant situation.

    Srsly.

  8. #8 SteveC
    March 7, 2009
  9. #9 GaryB
    March 8, 2009

    You did wait until you got to a bathroom to pee I hope. Peeing on the street or in hallways is generally frowned upon.

  10. #10 The Curmudgeon
    March 8, 2009

    Abbie, you disappoint me. You flipped a bird at Casey. Why didn’t you flash your thong at Dawkins?

  11. #11 Art
    March 8, 2009

    You had Dawkins talk in a basketball court??!! Talk about a slap in the face of religion.

    (Well, it’s religion where I live …)

  12. #12 Joe
    March 8, 2009

    So, what was on this oh-so-fabulous free t-shirt you got?

  13. #13 Gary Hurd
    March 8, 2009

    Yeah, Abbie. Where is the tee shirt. Is it tight?

    Sounds like you guys had a lot of fun, wish I was there.

    GH

  14. #14 Wes
    March 8, 2009

    I didn’t get to pee anywhere near Dawkins, but I signed the registry at the History of Science Collection immediately below Dawkins, and Piers Hale (from the OU history of science department) signed just after me, so my completely illegible signature is forever in a science-sandwich. :D

  15. #15 slang
    March 8, 2009

    Wish i couldve been there, glad you had a great time. I hope mr. “Youthperrafroth” didn’t distract too much.

  16. #16 Chris Nedin
    March 8, 2009

    Security wear sunglasses to hide their eyes so that anyone who is under surveillance and happens to look at security can’t tell that they are under surveillance.

  17. #17 eddie
    March 8, 2009

    Slightly OT but I read over at pharyngula that casey mouskin’s furry eyebrows are the subject of a particularly sordid fetish.

  18. #18 Don Smith.FCD
    March 9, 2009

    I saw TARD Bill at the end of the line and began wondering why they were bringing up old-news Dumbski until I got to the rest of the link on the next line.

    I have been reading your blog for way too long…

  19. #19 Piers
    March 9, 2009

    Don’t know what time you got Nick back to the Hotel, but after signing books for an hour and a half, Dawkins was out at IHOP till the wee hours – (bad pun, sorry), so in fact, assuming he pee’d when he got home, (and depending on whether or not he sits down of course!!) he may have shared your still warm seat!! Now THAT would make you famous!!!

  20. #20 Gary_Hurd
    March 10, 2009

    Abbie, I think I saw you in the introduction segment of the lecture film posted by Dawkins.com.

    Was that you?

  21. #21 Paper Hand
    March 11, 2009

    Sili @ 2: Damn, woman! You’ll end up with a harem (sharem?) of old dudes this way.

    “Hisem” is the correct term.

  22. #22 William Wallace
    March 11, 2009

    Crazy mother fuckers are funny on YouTube.

    They are not funny when they are 50 feet away from you.

    But OUPD swiftly escorted the crazy ass mother fucker to the exit, including a guy I was making fun of all night because he was wearing his sunglasses indoors. Well, sorry security guy I was making fun of– You can wear sunglasses indoors all you want if you get rid of the crazies.

    After watching the actual video, I can’t help but notice selective perception at work. The man you call crazy approached security.

  23. #23 LanceR, JSG
    March 11, 2009

    Once again, Limp Willy is going to attempt to contradict someone who *WAS THERE* with his infinite wisdom.

    Please tell us, O Limp One… what *REALLY* happened?

  24. #24 William Wallace
    March 12, 2009

    what *REALLY* happened?

    You see that underlined phrase “actual video” in [#22]?…click on it and see for yourself.

  25. #25 Rystefn
    March 12, 2009

    So I watched the video, and I don’t see anything that contradicts the statement, “OUPD swiftly escorted the crazy ass mother fucker to the exit…” Regardless of how readily said CAMF left, he was escorted to the exit by OUPD.

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