LOL! Baptists.

Posted by ERV on July 20, 2009
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Sally Kern lives in constant terror of the ACLU– but at least Governor Brad Henry has her back.

Oh wait, no he doesnt.

LOL! Baptists.

The Baptist Messenger — an established weekly newspaper with a paid circulation of over 85,000–decided to photoshop Governor Henry’s signature on the embarrassing and archaic “Proclamation for Morality.” And to try and make the piece of right wing trash look even more legitimate, they placed the text of proclamation onto Executive Department letterhead and forged the signature of Secretary of State M. Susan Savage next to the state seal of Oklahoma.

This is not a misunderstanding. This isnt a shoop done by an evil Atheist. Its for realsies. HA! People telling other people how to be moral lied! HAAAAAHAHAHAHA!

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Comments

  1. #1 TheEngima23
    July 20, 2009

    If I sing enough Christians hymns at this, does it make this go away/drown it out too?

  2. #2 Optimus Primate
    July 20, 2009

    What makes me sick is how all of the affected parties are making excuses for these lying scumbags. “…[T]hey simply made a mistake and I take him at his word.”

    Mistake, my ass! A lot of deliberate work went into this deception. But, oh well, as long as they “apologize profusely,” that makes it all righty. I think I’ll sign Obama’s name to a proclamation stating that I don’t have to pay income taxes. Then, when I get busted, I’ll apologize profusely and claim I’m Baptist.

    Hey, technically I’m still a member of the Baptist Church.

  3. #3 John McKay
    July 20, 2009

    “Mr. Nigh was very apologetic and please, for everybody’s understanding, that they simply made a mistake…”

    So, they accidentally forged the governor’s signature and falsified Ms. Savage’s witness thereof and published it in error. I think a good “oopsie” should cover that.

  4. #4 Chayanov
    July 21, 2009

    See, they just wondered what it would look like if the governor and secretary of state endorsed their little proclamation, so they made a mock-up of it with seal and signatures, but then when they went to press they used the fake by accident. Could have happened to anyone.

  5. #5 Mind Over Splatter
    July 21, 2009

    Damn! I burnt that issue as usual without cracking the seal. Now I’ve lost a collectable bit of fundamentalist chicanery due to my own overwhelming desires to be rid of its sanctimonious, hypocritical stench. Oh well, I’m sure there will be loads more in the next issue.

  6. #6 J TODD DESHONG
    July 21, 2009

    Christians do this stuff all the time!
    Motto: All’s Fair When Saving Souls!!
    JTD

  7. #7 Ken
    July 21, 2009

    no… all’s fair when you are lying for Jesus.

    It’s a shame there isn’t really a hell for them to go to, by their rules they’re halfway there already.

  8. #8 Sili
    July 21, 2009

    How’s that saying?

    “What’s this? I don’t even”

  9. #9 William Wallace
    July 21, 2009

    I call infiltration. Baptist graphic artist? How much you wanna bet the graphic artist is associated with the Gay & Lesbian Victory Fund (the group that conspires to elect homosexual officials, and the same group behind the anti-Sally Kern youtube video–talk about balls.)

    Kern, R-Oklahoma City, said she saw the Baptist Messenger when her husband, the Rev. Steve Kern, a Baptist pastor, brought a copy home last week. She said they contacted the newspaper’s leaders about it and learned that someone had made the mistake unintentionally.

    “Looked like he tried to doctor it up to make it look nice,” Kern said. “They tried to make it appear like the governor had signed it.”
    …

    “They apologized profusely,” said Paul Sund, the governor’s spokesman. “We understand that people are human and they make mistakes.”

    In a written statement he issued Monday, Sund said, “The Baptist Messenger editor indicated that a graphic artist has merged the images of an old state proclamation and the Rep. Kern petition without realizing the old, official state document contained the signatures of the governor and secretary of state. Neither official signed the Rep. Kern petition.”

    Oklahoma Baptist newspaper apologizes for fake Henry endorsement
    Governor didn’t sign ‘Proclamation for Morality’

  10. #10 Sigmund
    July 21, 2009

    Apparently its all OK now. In the next issue they have a letter forgiving them of their sin, signed by Jesus.

  11. #11 William Wallace
    July 21, 2009

    Regardless, whomever did the doctoring should meet the same fate as Jayson Blair of the New York Times.

  12. #12 386sx
    July 21, 2009

    The paper issued a statement saying, “the artwork used was from previous editions of the paper and was used without the consent of the governor and secretary of state.”

    What are they calling it artwork for. How’s come fundies never talk like normal people do? Like they’re from the 5th century or something. Lol.

  13. #13 386sx
    July 21, 2009

    Fundies always talk like they’re from 5th century bizarro land. They should get out a little more. Lol.

  14. #14 BAllanJ
    July 21, 2009

    I thought of a good penance for the “paper”. For one year, on the front page right under their name it should say “Liars for Jebus”

  15. #15 Uncle Glenny
    July 21, 2009

    There’s an awful lot of forgiveness floating around in certain circles of the GOP these days; maybe C Street should be expanding its new purpose.

  16. #16 Sili
    July 21, 2009

    whomever

    heh heh heh

  17. #17 Optimus Primate
    July 21, 2009

    And once again, Willy Wally writes something so utterly ridiculous, I honestly have to sit back and consider the possibility that he’s a Poe.

    Yeah, one of “The Gays” infiltrated a Baptist publication and worked there diligently for nearly three years, just waiting for the moment he could Photoshop the governor’s signature on a silly proclamation to make the Baptists look bad. Dammit, Willy! You’re a genius! Why didn’t any of the rest of us catch on? [/sarcasm]

    Fucking idiot.

    As much as I don’t feel that calling someone gay or insinuating that they work for a GLBT organization is in any way a libelous accusation, I nonetheless hope Clint Walkingstick (the graphic artist in question) sues you for libel.

  18. #18 BeamStalk
    July 21, 2009

    I was just thinking almost exactly the same thing Optimus. That comment is so retarded it makes you think he is a poe.

  19. #19 mediajackal
    July 21, 2009

    Well, technically, aren’t fundies from First Century Bizarro Land?

    William Wallace @9: Subvert from within!!

  20. #20 LanceR, JSG
    July 21, 2009

    I am sorry to tell you this, Optimus, but Limp Willy is for real. I’ve been dealing with him on several other blogs before this, and he really does believe this stuff.

    We could have saved Dunning & Kruger a fortune in lab time just by sending Limp Willy over.

    Of course, no self-respecting Baptist could *ever* be a graphic artist! That’s, you know, artsy. And you know what *that* means!

  21. #21 Prometheus
    July 21, 2009

    Run ERV! The evangelicals can shoop now!

    Countdown to rule 34 on the “pre-born” and Satan’s sneaky faux fossils.

    “Ich bin kosten mein lazer! SHOOPEN DAS WOOPEN”

  22. #22 daedalus2u
    July 21, 2009

    This is pretty funny in a sad sort of way; that Baptists, who believe in the literal inerrancy of the words written in the Bible would play so fast and loose with matters of fact.

    I guess the Divine Fact Checker, who kept the contents of the Bible inerrant as it was passed down by word of mouth (for hundreds of generations) and then by written word (via multiple copies which we can track the phylogeny of by the same methods used for making DNA trees), and then as it was translated into multiple different languages slipped up a tiny bit in this case.

  23. #23 William Wallace
    July 21, 2009

    Yeah, one of “The Gays” infiltrated a Baptist publication and worked there diligently for nearly three years

    Ever here of Dan Savage?

  24. #24 scottE
    July 21, 2009

    I think Hanlon’s razor works here: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

    I doubt Wallace’s assertion of sedition is particularly likely, either.

    “Ever here of Dan Savage?”

    Ever where of him?

  25. #25 LanceR, JSG
    July 21, 2009

    Ever here of Dan Savage?

    Yes, actually. Your point? An openly gay theater director turned columnist? This proves your “point” about infiltration… how again?

  26. #26 W. Kevin Vicklund
    July 21, 2009

    What the Limpmeister islikely talking about. Note that the story is largely fictitious (though he did in fact commit actual voter fraud).

  27. #27 Mobius
    July 21, 2009

    Ah, yes. More lying for Jesus. Does anyone expect otherwise?

    BTW…Why don’t Baptists have sex standing up?

    Answer: Someone might think they’re dancing.

  28. #28 Doug Alder
    July 21, 2009

    and here I thought forgery was a federally indictable felony in your country – is it not?

  29. #29 Zar
    July 21, 2009

    William Wallace wishes the gays would infiltrate him.

    (In the butt.)

  31. #31 Jon H
    July 22, 2009

    “What are they calling it artwork for. How’s come fundies never talk like normal people do? Like they’re from the 5th century or something. Lol.”

    It’s a template. The raw file has the signatures at the bottom and a white space at the top where it says “PASTE WINGNUTTERY HERE”

  32. #32 Rhology
    July 30, 2009

    What the crap were the Baptist Msgr people thinking?

    It’s embarrassing. Idiots.

    Signed,
    Someone Who Attends a Southern Baptist Church

  33. #33 Anonymous
    January 19, 2010

    nom