Abbie Smith is a graduate student studying the molecular and biochemical evolution of HIV within patients and within populations. She also studies epigenetic control of ERVs.
Creationism is so boring.
Creationist: BIOLOGICAL FEATURE ___ IS IMPOSSIBLAH!Thats it. Same thing from YECs, to OECs, to IDCs, decades and decades of that.Scientist: Um, Dude, theres like 65 years of research explaining how feature ___ evolved.
Creationist: NO THAT RESEAERCH SUPPORTS JESUS! EVIDENCES OF CREATION!
Scientist: What? No, we have a pretty good idea the evolutionary steps between ___ and ___. Theres no way this research supports special creation. I mean, its actually taught in undergrad biology classes now.
Creationist: NO. I CALCULATED IMPOSSIBLAH. JESUS LOVES ME!
Scientist: ... Youre just mashing the keys of your calculator. Thats not a 'calculation'.
Creationist: EXPELLED! EXPEEEEEEELLLED! YOU ARE BE PURSEICUTING MEH!!! NAZI!! *runs to a school board to get their 'calculations' taught in public school science classes*
We finally have something new.
Creationists propose "Intelligent Recall" theory to explain extinction of species--AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Parody writers: More creative than Creationists.
Hawkins further revealed that God had decided to recall the dinosaurs after rescuing them from the global flood. Hawkins didn't specify the factors that God considered before recalling any species, proclaiming it to be beyond the capacity of human intelligence.
Comments
O, to be a paleontologist for just one day so I could name my next discovery Toyotasaurus.
Posted by: Optimus Primate | February 20, 2010 12:21 PM
I have to admit, I'm a little disappointed its a parody...I mean its funny, but it would be nice if creationists actually gave us something new to ridicule.
Posted by: JRQ | February 20, 2010 12:26 PM
They misspelled "Rapture".
Posted by: Sili | February 20, 2010 12:46 PM
Finally makes sense! Apocalypse is nothing more than human recall. Do not be afraid anymore -_-'
Posted by: C. Julian | February 20, 2010 2:50 PM
So that's why there are no more unicorns and fire breathing dragons around!
Posted by: Tommykey | February 20, 2010 2:57 PM
"Hey, Dino, you need to take a brake?"
That would be in the Prius eon, right ...
Posted by: Rrr | February 20, 2010 3:11 PM
I suggest that since CREASONIST BRAINZ don't work so good that they should ALL be recalled for the necessary "regrooving".* And if there were a god, it would like ASAP. Excuse, me, like 100 years ago.
* Thanks to Firesign Theater for the reference.
Posted by: J-Dog | February 20, 2010 3:31 PM
George Tirebiter would be proud.
Posted by: Anonymic | February 20, 2010 4:11 PM
Do you think God will be asked to testify and explain the recall before the House Committee on Oversight and Gov't Reform?
Posted by: Sascha | February 20, 2010 7:07 PM
Yeah, but you can't prove you're not brains in vats SO I WIN!
/Rhotard
Posted by: Tyler DiPietro | February 20, 2010 8:23 PM
Yeah, that's well done, but I did something very like that last Novemeber:
http://www.skepticfriends.org/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=12367
Posted by: HalfMooner | February 20, 2010 11:01 PM
Strip the parody tags and e-mail it to Luskin.
It will keep him busy for weeks.
Corvairetops.
Pintodactyl.
Posted by: Prometheus | February 21, 2010 9:36 AM
Keep the parody tags and tell him it had to be published as parody to escape teh censor.
Posted by: tsig | February 21, 2010 1:35 PM
Hello. Here is a thought experiment I just performed about religion. Please tell me what you think.
http://circleh.wordpress.com/2010/02/22/judgement-day/
Posted by: Dale Husband | February 22, 2010 5:32 AM
I must admit there's something alluring about the idea of a dinosaur rapture.
Posted by: Tatarize | February 22, 2010 5:33 AM
"I must admit there's something alluring about the idea of a dinosaur rapture."
Wouldn't that be better as Raptor Rapture?
Posted by: BeamStalk | February 22, 2010 9:44 AM
Dino Rapture or Left Behind?
DinoRapture
Left Behind
Posted by: Pdiff | February 22, 2010 12:08 PM
While I fully realize that this is a parody, it got closer to the truth than I think the authors realized. What I specifically mean by this is well known creationist and pseudo mathematician Dembski just wrote a book on theology called _The End of Christianity_. Here end means purpose.
In it, he argued for the retroactive redemptive powers of the cross and Christ's suffering. He made this argument to try and square the existence of natural evil -- death and suffering -- in an old earth. He argued that the cross can redeem the world for sins and evil that happened before man came about. I'm not kidding.
While this notion of retroactive redemption is only tangentially related to what we have here, it did remind me of it.
Posted by: Brian | February 22, 2010 1:07 PM
So glad we have graduate students like you who know everything. Not like those people with years and years of post grad experience!
Posted by: Jen | February 23, 2010 5:53 PM
Jen@19 -- Dunno what your comment has to do with Abbie's post, but you might enjoy the following:
Posted by: Dave | February 23, 2010 6:31 PM