Two Big Fat Frauds

Posted by ERV on March 16, 2010
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Doing the right thing for the wrong reasons two totally different ways:

1. NEWSFLASH! Gabourey Sidibe is fat!

Boy I never noticed that before! I bet you all didnt either! I bet this is like, a divine revelation for Ms Sidibe, too. Thank goodness this fact is pointed out to all of us!

Look, Gabourey knows her own damn weight. If she ever wants to drop some of it, I hope she does it in a healthy way. THE WRONG WAY to try to lose weight is using stupid supplements. Stupid supplements like ‘AcaiSupply.com‘: FLUSH THE POUNDS AND LOSE THE WEIGHT (pdf)
This ‘news’ is all over the place– whether Gabourey falls for this or not, its free advertising for ‘AcaiSupply’.

Travis and Peter have been all over ‘acai’ for a while now (AcaiBurn: “the world’s most extreme weight-loss solution”?, Acai Berry Scam Exposed: We Called It!, This makes me angry)

There is no magic pill for fat loss. We are just going to have to learn to deal with that.

2. NEWSFLASH! Kirstie Alley is fat but she doesnt want to be fat anymore!!

Yay! Whether someone vows to start learning how to cook healthy meals at home, or decides to pick up a new active hobby, I totally encourage and support anyone trying to make their lives healthier!

But I really dont like Kirstie Alleys ‘weight problem’. She seems to jump from gimmick diet to fad workout to gimmick diet, alternatively being proud of her voluptuous body and hating it, losing weight then putting it all back on again, pimping her ‘fat’ for TV shows and pimping her ‘weight loss’ for books and magazines… Its weird and not healthy. Her weight has become her.

Well now things are going to be different! Shes started her OWN weight loss/diet scam!

ORGANIC LIAISON! (WARNING! VERY obnoxious website!!! It makes me want to stab things!!!)

ORGANIC ELIXIRS with ‘nutrients, minerals, fibers, prebiotics, and antioxidants et cetera’! WOW! Even et cetera?? We have a really hard time purifying ‘et cetera’ in the lab, wonder how they do it?? I mean, shit, what more could you ask for???

How about a heaping dose of SCIENTOLOGY!

AAAAHAHAHAHA Apparently, all the people/all the buildings involved with ‘Organic Liaison’ are connected to Scientology.

Christ on a stick… Shame on these assholes.

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Comments

  1. #1 TheSlat
    March 16, 2010

    Why do I never heed warning about obnoxious websites? I just spent about 5 minutes screaming “Why wont the flash Kristie Alley stop dancing? Why are there bubbles following my cursor around?? WHY WON’T THE WINDOW CLOSE!?? AHHH MAKE IT STOP!”

  2. #2 Party Cactus
    March 16, 2010

    I love exotic and underdeveloped fruit, and I hate seeing them abused like that. Açaí is good for you, it really is, it’s very good for you. But it’s not magic. It’s not going to zap away disease and fat and make you look young and feel healthy. It wouldn’t hurt of course, but it’s really no better, or not better by a huge lot, than blueberries, strawberries, or raspberries, but I guess they don’t market as well as something novel. Same deal with mangosteen, noni, goji (you can grow those as low down as zone 6, btw). Poor seaberry and aronia might get it next, and who knows what else. Sad. I think we should diversify our diet with such fruits, and value them for their culinary properties and their health benefits, but not for some slimy BS marketing magic.

    By the way, just a nitpick, but it’s açaí, with a cedilla. Not trying to be pedantic, but give you’re non-standard latin alphabet characters props. They’re cool! English should start adsorbing all those cedillas, umlauts, ligatures, accents, and the tilde, and letters like Ø, Å, ß, and þ. Even if it doesn’t make sense, it would make English so much more fun!

  3. #3 R2
    March 17, 2010

    No magic pill for weight loss? What about the Adipose Pill? The fat just walks away!

  4. #4 pi
    March 17, 2010

    “By the way, just a nitpick, but it’s açaí, with a cedilla.”

    Cedillas, umlauts, ligatures! I’d settle for apostrophes. Come on ERV, you’re a big girl now, when are you going to drop this affectation?

  5. #5 Uncle Glenny
    March 17, 2010

    Well, having been warned I’m not going to any of those web sites (except maybe Travis’ and Peter’s later), but I don’t understand the organic liaison business. All the liaisons I’ve ever made were definitely incompatible with weight loss, as they utilized lots of egg yolks.

    Can egg yolks help to bind you to Xenu?

  6. #6 J-Dog
    March 17, 2010

    Have you ever seen a fat Mayan warrior?

    No? That’s because the Ancient Mayan’s knew about Mother Nature’s Own Secret Weight Loss Diet! So, before 2012 rools around, why not try – Mother Maya’s Chewy Goodness Coco Leaves – For a more natural weight loss.*

    Call 1-800-EAT MAYA TODAY! Operators are standing by. Act now, and receive – ABSOLUTELY FREE – an “ever-sharp” Obsidian Heart Knife!
    JuSt send us all your money, in all your bank accounts. DO IT NOW!

    * Not FDA or DEA approved

  7. #7 moralfag
    March 17, 2010

    It makes me happy that ERV visits whyweprotest.net. The more smart people keeping an eye on the Super Adventure Club, the better.

    A moonbat is fine, but an organized group of rich, politically connected moonbats with big plans like “operation sore throat” is serious business.

  8. #8 Sili
    March 17, 2010

    Why do they choose a name that makes it so easy to mock?

    ORGANIC LIAISON dangereux.

  9. #9 The Curmudgeon
    March 17, 2010

    O how cruel! The Gravitationally Aggrieved have rights, you know.

  10. #10 WIll
    March 17, 2010

    That woman has gone straight downhill since The Wrath of Khan.

  11. #11 Jon H
    March 17, 2010

    “ORGANIC LIAISON” is *such* a scientology jargony name.

    HAVING TROUBLE WITH SP’S? GETTING READY FOR A TOUGH RUNDOWN? TRY ORGANIC LIAISON TECH TO GET YOUR THETANS IN SHAPE.

  12. #12 Travis
    March 18, 2010

    Wow, I’ve been curious about Kirstie’s new TV show (I haven’t seen it yet) but I hadn’t even heard about her own line of weight loss products! I’m really interested to read up on them, thanks for calling BS!

  13. #13 Jesse
    March 21, 2010

    You weren’t shittin’ about that website being obnoxious. It was a way for her to be cute and frilly. I fucking hate cute. I despise frills on the internet. Especially when they’re combined with cute. And WTF was up with the intro to the intro? More cuteness? DIAF! I wonder if she (Kristie Alley) uses the words “prego” or “preggers” when referring to pregnant women? It would fit.