Oklahoma = Grandpa Simpson

Posted by ERV on September 19, 2010
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A Star is Burns:

Kent Brockman: [on TV] Tonight, we’ll visit Springfield’s answer to the Benidictine monks: the Rappin’ Rabbis.
Rabbi: Don’t eat pork, not even with a fork. [motions to cooked pig] Can’t touch this!

Homer: Marge, are we Jewish?
Marge: No, Homer.
Homer: Woo hoo! [grabs a cooked pig, starts carving at it]

Kent: But first, we all stink! That’s according to a national survey ranking Springfield as the least popular city in America. [cut to Skinner tied to a stake on top of a pyre] In science, dead last.

Skinner: I’m telling you people, the earth revolves around the sun!
Abe: Burn him! [lights the pyre]
Shutton: What a story! [takes a photo]
Abe: [chasing him] You’ve stolen my soul!

First, the Oklahoma Bureau of Narcotics and Dangerous Drugs thinks that iDosing is real. Its not.

Now, they think pedobear is real.

Considering a large percentage of the population here thinks ‘The Flintstones’ is real, I shouldnt really be this annoyed, but for Petes sake… I try to make a good name for this state…

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Comments

  1. #1 Alan Kellogg
    September 19, 2010

    Regarding Pedobear,

    Do a search on “Satanic Panic” and remember that that doesn’t go all that far back.

  2. #2 theshortearedowl
    September 20, 2010

    My first thought was, well of course Pedobear is real, I can find him on the internet easy…

    I will never understand America.

  3. #3 Equisetum
    September 20, 2010

    Re idosing: “This is the secret way to do alien lobotomies.”

    You want the aliens to win, don’t you?

    Re Pedobear: “. . . because underneath this costume could be a child predator.”

    Uh, beneath any costume could be a child predator. I think Disneyland just went broke.

  4. #4 Rich
    September 20, 2010

    You should have seen the recent peice on this on Australian TV (the early morning show). Some seriously retarded “reporting” there.

  5. #5 windy
    September 20, 2010

    Don’t feel bad, the Toronto police thinks LARP gear is real

  6. #6 Prometheus
    September 20, 2010

    Oh great.

    The police are worried about the Disco Dump.

    http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/103401

    When is the Simon Wisenthal Center going to bring the Mudkips to justice?

    Somebody better e-mail Sally Kern so that Rick Rolling becomes a misdemeanor.

  7. #7 Fitz
    September 20, 2010

    I’m not convinced that Oklahoma is real.

  8. #8 JustaTech
    September 20, 2010

    Having once been forced to explain to a campus security officer that the “drunk kids with knives” were actually sober kids with duct-tape wands, I can’t say I’m terribly surprised. It’s the breathless, earnest way that these things are reported that gets me. You would think that after the first 15 times a reporter is wrong about some teenager-based story: “Hands in pockets means you can hit him!” they would develop a tiny touch of skepticism. Oh, but that’s a bad word!

    People.

  9. #9 Prometheus
    September 20, 2010

    “I’m not convinced that Oklahoma is real.”

    Parts of it blink in and out like Brigadoon.

    I took a girlfriend to Hobart once. The quarts mountains happened to be bright blue and foggy that day, the city had handed out thousands of iris bulbs the year before and they were were in bloom as the entire stock of the peacock breeding ranch invaded town because the owner went bankrupt and he didn’t want the bank to get them.

    It was a Sunday morning so every human inhabitant was in church or hung over.

    It was what “Night of the Comet” would have been like if David Lynch directed it.

    That’s Oklahoma.

    Weird.

    Not always evil.

    Always weird.

  10. #10 Shane Killian
    September 20, 2010

    Abbie, if you ever left the state, it’s average IQ would drop by an order of magnitude.

  11. #11 Joshua White
    September 22, 2010

    This is just like the time some Florida cops thought “jenkem” was real.
    http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Drugs/story?id=3834092&page=1

    I love the internet. No matter how much education I get I will always have an addiction to /b/.

    Also funny is when you google “Florida jenkem” you see that the racist fucktards at stormfront also fell for the hoax.