Teh Pope reads ERV.


ERV, August 5, 2009–

Maybe we just need to fr*me things differently– Condoms arent ‘birth control’, theyre ‘HIV/AIDS control, with unavoidable (but reversible) pregnancy reduction as a side-effect, like chemotherapy for cancer’.

Teh Pope, November 20, 2010–

While he will restate the Catholic Church’s staunch objections to contraception because it believes it interferes with the creation of life, he will argue that using a condom to preserve life and avoid death can be a responsible act – even outside marriage.
…”In certain cases, where the intention is to reduce the risk of infection, it can nevertheless be a first step on the way to another, more humane sexuality.”

*slow-clap* And the last horse finally crosses the finish line… 25 years after everyone else.

“But it is not the proper way to deal with the horror of HIV infection.”

Yes it is. HIV-1 cannot go through condoms. I ‘joke’ that Im putting all this effort into studying HIV-1, trying to create a cure and a vaccine… when we already have a solution to The Problem. Condoms. Its stupid how much time and effort we are putting into this when a solution to The Problem already exists.

But what do I know. Im just an HIV-1 researcher. Teh Pope is TEH POPE, so he must know better.

The move by Pope Benedict is particularly surprising because he caused controversy last year by suggesting condom use could actually worsen the problem of Aids in Africa.

No, what would be surprising is Teh Pope taking responsibility for his actions and the actions of the group of people he presides over. Directly addressing his previous comments and acknowledging he was wrong (and how Teh Pope could be wrong… hmm… maybe cause hes just some old crazy bastard, and not intellectually or spiritually ‘better’ than any other random human on this planet?).

Casually changing his stance on such an important topic, like nothing happened, when they have been beating their fists on the floor in an epic, 25 year temper-tantrum while other human beings are dying is exactly what I would expect from this douche and anyone stupid enough to think he is worth his weight in dog shit.


  1. #1 Scott
    November 21, 2010

    He may be 25 years late on the HIV thing, but he’s like 400 years late on condoms.

    And wtf is a “humane sexuality?”

  2. #2 Bob
    November 21, 2010

    Hey! Dogshit has many useful applications, especially to an organic gardener.

    In direct contrast with the pope’s usefulness…

  3. #3 daedalus2u
    November 21, 2010

    I think he has other reasons.


    He wants his “inner circle” to be protected from getting HIV.

  4. #4 Tom
    November 21, 2010

    Wow, what an emotional post, Abbi. And funny the sarcastic way. I love it.
    Glad to have found such an outspoken person against some of those controversional popeistic policies. Could there only be a way of permanently changing those boundless dictators’ minds to the undisputable better, maybe with a yet undiscovered retrovirus, the world would be a happier place.

  5. #5 Sarah
    November 22, 2010

    “But it is not the proper way to deal with the horror of HIV infection.”

    “Yes it is.”

    So the lower rate of AIDs in countries with higher proportion of Catholics is just an artifact of the sampling process?

  6. #6 ERV
    November 22, 2010

    … Is that a joke, Sarah? Or are you genuinely too stupid/lazy to figure out how to operate ‘Wikipedia’?

    There is no such trend (obvious even with a casual perusal of the data). Whoever told you that was lying, big fucking surprise.

  7. #7 Joerg
    November 22, 2010

    Let’s not forget the immense benefit of priest using condoms when raping choir boys – no DNA samples left!

  8. #8 Ketil Tveiten
    November 22, 2010

    @1: ‘humane sexuality’ = fiddling kids in a ‘humane’ fashion, obviously.

  9. #9 Prometheus
    November 22, 2010

    The most inadvertently funny thing a priest ever said to me:

    RE: The hierarchy of venial, grave, capital and mortal sin

    “The problem with sodomy is we that can’t decide where to put it.”


    “….wtf is a “humane sexuality?””

    It is John Paul II’s new patch on an old patch on a leaky retread tire.

    Ratzo is referring to the generosity of his predecessor in declaring that married people are allowed to enjoy sex even when she isn’t ovulating.

    It is some sort of twisted “the ecstasy of the sacrament” thingy thought up by a senile Polish virgin ski enthusiast wearing a beanie (god’s former personal emissary on earth) and affirmed by a senile German virgin who accidentally blessed a Ferrari showroom (god’s present personal emissary on earth).

    The one I am trying to figure out is Ratzo’s opposition to the “Banalazation of sex”.

    What the hell is that?

    Either the translator is deranged or the papacy is opposed to sex that isn’t…..edgy?

    Do we get plenary indulgence for zero gravity Chinese basket jobs now?

  10. #10 Vicki
    November 22, 2010

    If I were defining the terms, a humane sexuality would be one that takes the needs and desires of one’s partner(s) seriously. A humane sexuality cares about consent. The implications of that also include that a humane sexuality would take precautions against disease.

    It would also involve using—offering to use—contraceptions, because pregnancies should be wanted and chosen.

    This is not remotely what Pope Palpatine is talking about, of course.

  11. #11 Johan
    November 22, 2010

    For those who think that the popes comments represent a genuine change in the church’s position please remember that journalists are ignorant and read the following old blog post http://www.jimmyakin.org/2006/05/contraception_e.html

    It is written by a catholic nut but it explains what the church has and has not said on contraception in a good way.

  12. #12 Name: Mark
    November 23, 2010

    In the case of marital sexual relations, the contribution of the use of a condom to sinfulness is 100%, since it turns an otherwise good act into a sin.

  13. #13 R2
    November 24, 2010


    Even if that was true… just because it is a “Catholic” country doesn’t mean that people don’t use condoms. Catholics like sex just as any other person and many will use condoms.

    I’m in a mostly Catholic country and in health care. I’ve never heard a patient (or anyone else really) say they don’t use condoms (or any type of birth control, really) ’cause the Pope said so. (Those that don’t give the ‘it feels better’ reason, or they’re the ‘wait until marriage’ type.)

    Some might, but the argument- assuming the premise is true- still doesn’t work.

  14. #14 Sarah
    February 15, 2011

    “… Is that a joke, Sarah? Or are you genuinely too stupid/lazy to figure out how to operate ‘Wikipedia’?”

    You mean the same wikipedia that has:

    This article is outdated. Please update this article to reflect recent events or newly available information. Please see the talk page for more information. (December 2009)

    Above the section about “Epidemiology”

    Yeah, that sounds like a useful resource. Moron.

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