1– I have no idea what anyone is saying. The last time I took Spanish was like 10 years ago. So even if people say something I know, it takes me 5 minutes to translate. And then, I have this ‘ear popping issue’ when I fly on planes. Fine going up, severe pain coming down, ears dont pop until like a week later. Not exaggerating. So people are speaking to me in Spanish, and I cant really hear them, and I cant really understand them, so I basically just stare at people like a dazed cow, only occasionally shrieking ‘DONDE ESTA EL BANO???” with a thick Southern accent.
2– The people here are hot. All of them. ALL OF THEM. As much as I like Oklahoma, things are… different… there…
3– I have no idea whats in this smoothie Im drinking. I hadnt heard of any of the fruits, I cant place any of the flavors. HA!
4– Cute airport story: I cant handle the security dogs at the airport. When it comes to dogs, I have the self control of a 4 year old. See a puppy? Scream “PUPPY!!!!!”, throw myself to the ground, and flop said puppys ears. I love German Shepherd ears… So they let a bomb/drug sniffing dog loose on a huge line I was in. I had to cross my arms in a death grip and look at the ceiling. And then the puppy stopped… and sat down next to a guy standing in line near me.
Normal people would think “OH SHIT! Dude is packing drugs or bombs or something! SHIT!”
Me: “LOOK AT THAT MUSHY FACE! YOU HAVE A MUSHY PUPPY FACE! I WANT TO BITE YOUR DOG FEET!!!!”
Thankfully the airport security guy quickly relieved me of me of my misery– the ‘dude in line’ was a plant. A test for the puppy. So when she found him and did the job right, she got all sorts of lovies and praise from her handlers… while I gave them the stink eye.
5– It physically couldnt be any more pleasant outside. Warm (upper 80s), perfect breeze (not a 40 mph ‘Oklahoma Breeze’), tons of shade and green. The backyard of the place Im staying at tonight is gorgeous. Tiny green paradise. I couldnt live here, though. I about had a panic attack in the taxi on the way to the hotel “OMFG WERE ALL GONNA DIIIIIIIIIIEEEE!!!” Traffic is a little ‘crazy’ :-/ Lots of honking…