Okay, once again, I dont like birds.
I was no way at risk of developing Penguin Madness.
Seal Madness, though… that was a different matter all together.
Unfortunately, I have this habit… when Arnie is taking an afternoon nap, fat black puppy butt lying in the sun, I physically cannot resist running up to him screaming ‘PUPPYPUPPYPUPPY!!!!’ and playing his ribcage like a bongo drum. And then when he sits up going “WTF??” I give him a noogie.
And then I am presented with a beach, with a dozen seals with their cute puppy-dog-eyes and fat grey butts in the sun… *twitch*
I made it without succumbing to the madness, but I don’t know how much longer I could have held out. And Im glad we werent really at a ‘peak’ seal time, so I only had to deal with a few dozen as opposed to hundreds. The seals were fat silver dogs to me, evolutionary history be damned.
They fell into three distinct groups.
1. These guys did not give a rats ass about us. Raised their head to look at us, went back to sleep. I wanted to tackle them and give them noogies and flop their ears.
2. The super-crazy-social-funny ones. At one point, a seal came up on the beach, all by himself, and put on a hysterical show for us. And we were kinda in molting season, so some of the seals would do that thing where dogs roll around on their backs? Then they would pat their tummies and rub their adorable eyes and start rolling around again, happiest chubby little buggies EVAH!!!!
3. The I-dont-know-wtf-you-are-Im-getting-out-of-here guys were my favorite! They would wake up, look us up-and-down, and then you could hear their seal brains thinking “Oh HELL no.” as they got up and left. It wasnt like a ‘Im scared!’ thing. It was like a ‘I dont know. I dont wanna know. Im out. Peace, Homies.”
This guy was a #3, but he chilled out. He was like, “What?… Wait, what? You… Im keeping my eyes on you… *squint* Im watching you…”
Here is the most adorable story I have ever heard in the history of ever: