Just watch the video.
My friend recording this for me was too far away to catch what I was saying. Apparently, I was cussing like a sailor and cracking everyone up (you can hear them roaring with laughter in the background). I think I said something along the lines of “WHY DID YOU ALL TELL ME ‘ITS NOT THAT BAD!’ THIS IS TERRIBLE. THIS IS AWFUL. WHY WOULD YOU ALL LIE TO ME LIKE THIS??? I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS! I HATE YOU ALL! HEY! PEOPLE IN LINE! THEYRE LYING! THIS IS TERRIBLE! I WANT TO DIE!! DONT DO IT!!”
Why was I BAAAAAWING like that?
Because the life-jacket we wore was soaking wet and FREEZING COLD. If the jacket wasnt wet, it just would have been ‘Eh, cold’ at first. But it was drenched, so, you can hear my muffled screams through chattering teeth as I went down the gangway.
The fine fellow standing at the end of the gangway was a Russian named Serge. He held the rope attached to the life jacket and hauled us back on board. He was laughing the whole time. Really hard. He didnt speak much English, but laughing at morons is a universal truth, apparently.
So, I jump into the water. 0.8 degrees Celsius. You think ‘Oh whatever, it was only a few seconds, I could handle that.’ Yeah, I was totally in shock, the second I hit the water. I ‘left my body’. I guess that was pretty clear when I got back on the ship, as the guide who was taking on/off our life-jacket totally pulled a Jedi mind trick on me. He was this incredibly mellow (but not obnoxious ‘in the ether mellow’) nice (really attractive) guy, and he said in this soothing voice “Its okay… Youre on the boat now… Youre safe…” And I was like “Its okay… Im on the boat now… Im safe…” **THROWS BACK SHOT OF VODKA**
You might also note that I was wearing knee-high red socks when I jumped into the water. I didnt want my wet feet to come into contact with the metal gangway, plus I wanted them for some traction, and I figured knee-high socks wouldnt come off.
Yeah, it was so cold it blew my knee-high socks off my damn feet.
Now, you all remember the ‘rules’ lecture I talked about, when we first got to Antarctica? Well, one of the MAJOR rules is, you dont leave anything behind. ANYTHING. You might think ‘Eh, its a banana peel. Its biodegradable…” Nope. Things decompose differently in Antarctica. You dont toss a tissue or apple cores or potato chip bags OR KNEE-HIGH RED SOCKS.
So as Im climbing the gangway, everyone is laughing and hollering at me “YOU HAVE TO GO BACK IN AND GET YOUR SOCKS, ROFL!!!!!”
Luckily, there were two of our guides out in a little boat in the water, and they fished out my socks for me.
I didnt break Antarctica.