1. Evilutionists say there is ‘junk DNA’
2. ‘Junk DNA’ was used to ID Osamas body
3. ‘Junk DNA’ was therefore useful
4. Therefore, there is no such thing as ‘junk DNA’
5. Therefore Evilution is false
6. Therefore humans were specially created by the Christian god 6000 years ago

LOL, wat?

File this under “Creationists are so stupid we cannot parody them, mostly because we cannot understand the incoherent thoughts coming out of their mouths”.

LOL, wut?

I normally dont link to Teh Discovery Institutes crap, but I really have no idea wtf David ‘Abbies eyes sure are purty’ Klinghoffer is trying to say– you really have to read it yourself. Some of you try getting high to see if that helps, report back here.

Comments

  1. #1 Sili
    May 3, 2011

    I see … so God created to bin Laden to prove that He exists?

    I’m sure all those dead people are really grateful now.

  2. #2 The Curmudgeon
    May 3, 2011

    Be careful, Abbie. You’re developing quite a fan club among the Discoveroids.

  3. #3 Alex Mac
    May 3, 2011

    Just went to that Evolution news site. A total con-trick, from its very misleading name. Typical of religion-spreaders. Like fairground swindlers, they will always find one more “mug” stupid enough to pay for their next drink.
    I suspect the reason why they are so fierce about denying evolution is that they know – deep inside – that their faith is built on sand, but can’t face that scary truth. Evolution casts a harsh spotlight on the artificiality of religions.

  4. #4 Jason
    May 3, 2011

    hilarious run of logic they have going on. oy.

    But I still hate it being called junk =(
    Mike Eisen seems to agree
    http://www.michaeleisen.org/blog/?p=4
    (or rather, I agree with him)

    ERV, thoughts?

  5. #5 Joshua Zelinsky
    May 3, 2011

    The intended logic seems to be a little different. I interpreted Klinghoffer as saying:

    1) “Junk” DNA was used to identify Osama.
    2) While we’re on the subject, we’ll make out standard ID claims that junk DNA doesn’t exist.
    3)…
    4) Profit.

    This is still stupid, but not quite as stupid as your interpretation.

  6. #6 ERV
    May 3, 2011

    I snorted so loud reading that I scared one of my minions, Joshua. LOL!

  7. #7 JohnV
    May 3, 2011

    I just had a PBR and it isn’t making any sense.

  8. #8 Prometheus
    May 3, 2011

    “Let’s see how many Darwin lobbyists have the guts and honesty to acknowledge…”

    Wait…what?

    There are Darwin lobbyists?

    K street starts at $300,000.00 plus benes.

    I’m packing my bags to get rich shillin for Big Evo.

  9. #9 nice_marmot
    May 3, 2011

    Ahh, now I get it. I can’t believe I wasted all those years in graduate school.
    I wonder if I can get my money back…

  10. #10 rfguy
    May 3, 2011

    LOL, wat?

    File this under “Creationists are so stupid we cannot parody them, mostly because we cannot understand the incoherent thoughts coming out of their mouths”.

    Are you sure that’s the end these “thoughts” came out of?

    -mark.

  11. #11 Herp N. Derpington
    May 3, 2011

    Some of you try getting high to see if that helps, report back here.

    I mean, it’s funny as shit now but I still don’t get it.

  12. #12 The Chimp's Raging Id
    May 3, 2011

    Truly, I have no idea what Klinghoffer is babbling about.

    Perhaps I need something to get me in the mood*… Yep, that’ll definitely help.
    ________________
    * This is a joke, OK? What I’m actually about to do is go to bed. It’s late where I live.

  13. #13 Science Avenger
    May 3, 2011

    OK, 8:20, 4:20, what’s the diff? Still stupid. They are just equivocating with the term “function”, as if the perspective of an outside forensic observer and the perspective of the critter with the DNA are the same. I mean, we’ve all got our own pespective, right? And perspective is everything, right?

    What were we talking about?

  14. #14 John Pieret
    May 3, 2011

    Ya see, it’s like this …

    We IDists have only one argument *for* ID (as opposed to lots and lots of arguments against evolution … that just happen to be the same arguments as creationists use … but we aren’t creationists, nosiree). That argument is that DNA is like computer code.

    Now computers do things that are useful to people, so if DNA is useful to people that just proves its like computer code.

    QED! (Who is that QED guy anyway?)

  15. #15 MacTurk
    May 4, 2011

    Prometheus(no 8) wrote “There are Darwin lobbyists? K street starts at $300,000.00 plus benes. I’m packing my bags to get rich shillin for Big Evo”.

    Me too please! Where do I send my resume?

    Or….would they require me to be rational, reasoned logical and supply evidence for what I am shilling for?

    Seriously, love the idea of “Big Evo”!

  16. #16 SLC
    May 4, 2011

    Perhaps Mr. Klinghoffer, who purports to be an Orthodox Jew, might want to explain how he can belong to an organization whose Associate Director and Vice President for Public Policy and Legal Affairs, one John West, is a Holocaust revisionist.

  17. #17 makeinu
    May 4, 2011

    *holds up finger, mouth open*

    I…….

    *closes mouth, drops finger, looks to the side*

    *starts to speak again*

    Yeah, I got nothing.

  18. #18 William Wallace
    May 5, 2011

    1. What kind of leaves are behind the dog? Darwin sativa?
    2. Where can I buy an instant DNA test? Is that in the family planning section of Walmart?
    3. What’s next, junk fingerprints? Junk eye color?
    4. More proof of evolution. Our hearts are basically the same, but our fingerprints are different. Evolutionists can’t look at a biological feature and not spin a yarn that proves, in their minds, evolution.

  19. #19 W. Kevin Vicklund
    May 5, 2011

    Is Wally sucking on Klinghoffer’s pipe or something?

  20. #20 Joshua White
    May 6, 2011

    “Some of you try getting high to see if that helps, report back here.”

    Big mistake.

    I dusted off the ol’ bong and tried it.

    After one bowl it didn’t make sense. I thought maybe Wells was trying to steal Obama’s DNA and throw it in the garbage in an attempt to show that he was not related to his mother and “prove” that he was born outside the US.

    After another bowl I saw DNA on the computer screen talking by flapping the stacks between nucleotides. It was begging me not to throw it away since it was junk. It’s a little fuzzy but there was a scientific plot to streamline human energy consumption by eliminating all extraneous DNA and protein sequence.

    After another bowl I was playing this video game where I was trying remove junk DNA from all of the creationists because they “didn’t deserve it”. There was also something in there about god hiding fossils in Bin Ladin as a challenge to our faith.

    I don’t remember anything after that but I woke up behind my couch with an Xbox controller playing mass effect with my character repeatedly running into a wall. Oh yeah, I also apparently tattooed the underpants gnome’s missing #2 on my cat. No I’m not telling you because I’m contacting a patent lawyer.

    Don’t ever ask me to do that again…I think.