Yo dawg: Republicans, Vaccines, and HuffPo

An infinite loop of crazy–

Apparently Michele Bachmann (Crazy, MN) wants her daughters (and any/all women) to get cervical cancer if they grow up to engage in any kind of sex their mother doesnt agree with (but almost certainly engaged in herself), so at the Republican debate for whatever, she ‘called out’ Rick Perry (Crazy, TX) for legislating mandatory HPV vaccines for girls.

To have innocent little 12-year-old girls be forced to have a government injection through an executive order is just flat out wrong. That should never be done. That’s a violation of a liberty interest.

“Well, I’m offended for all the little girls and the parents that didn’t have a choice,” replied Bachmann. “That’s what I’m offended for.”

Good for you. Lets all be ‘offended’ together. Im offended that you kill women in the name of ‘liberty’, Bachmann. Im offended at how gleefully you wallow in your willful ignorance of basic science, how proud you are to be stupid, your anti-vax position being just one facet of that personality deficit.

Bing, bang, boom.

Anyway, I was like, “Holy crap! Rick Perry (Crazy, TX) actually did something non-crazy that helped save lives!”

lol, yeah, no, not really.

In response to Bachmann ‘calling him out’, he issued this statement:

Gov. Perry stands firmly on the side of protecting life, and he viewed the issue in that context since HPV is a leading cause of cervical cancer in women. However, he has said that, in hindsight, his order was a mistake because citizens should have had the opportunity to express their opinions beforehand on such a sensitive issue.

Saving live is always a mistake, amirite?

And then waltzes in Sarah Palin (Crazy, AK) to defend Bachmann (hos before bros):

“That someone as Michele Bachmann pointed out, was Governor Perry’s former chief of staff who went to work for a drug company who made the drug that would be required of the Texas government to mandate that our young daughters would have to be inoculated against potential disease from this company that his former chief of staff was lobbying for that is crony capitalism,” Palin said.

Considering several of her children are unquestionably sluts, by Conservative Christian standards, Im taking this to mean that Palin would rather see her daughters and her sons lovers go through painful, humiliating medical procedures, chemotherapy/radiation, or die, rather than get the Slut Shot (aka HPV vaccine) made by The Man (theyre against Big Corporations except when they are for them). What a loving, caring mother.

Meanwhile, I learned that all of this occurred on the bastion of anti-science woo, especially anti-vax bullshit, the Huffington Postyeah… which is also anti-Republican/Conservative/etc. The approved comments there are comedy gold.

Bachmann, Perry, Palin, HuffPo, nutbars of all political stripes– skipping hand-in-hand in Crazy Land thanks to vaccines… Is this what Chris Mooney, Communication Messiah, meant by ‘building bridges’ with crazy people?

EDIT 10.15 PM– Ohhhhh. Lookie here! What a crazy, random happenstance!

Docs: Oral Cancer Rise Among Men Caused By HPV Virus
“Absolutely. I see two or three patients per week who have HPV-related oropharynx cancer,” Haddad said.

Haddad said he has witnessed an unmistakable shift.

“Fifteen years ago, almost every patient we saw with head and neck cancer was a smoker or drinker. Right now, in 2011, 20 percent of patients are smokers and drinkers and the other 80 percent get this cancer because of HPV infection,” Haddad said.

The Centers for Disease Control estimates that 24 million people in the U.S. are infected with HPV at any given time. It’s spread sexually, although some doctors believe it could ultimately become known as a kissing disease.

“It could potentially be transmitted by skin to skin contact, maybe saliva. We cannot exclude that kissing might transmit HPV,” Haddad said.

From a patient:

For patients, who’ve been through the brutal radiation treatment and chemotherapy, it may be an easy decision.

“If you (had) talked to me and I looked in my crystal ball and said that when I was 15 years old that if I got that HPV shot I wouldn’t have had cancer, well, now I’m pretty strong for it,” Hurd said.


  1. #1 Dave Ruddell
    September 13, 2011

    I believe it’s usually rendered as Michele Bachmann (R-Mars), but that may be insulting to Martians.

  2. #2 Ken
    September 13, 2011

    While I agree that Bachmann is probably more crazy than Perry please don’t mistake what Perry did for any actual concern for women’s lives.
    The drug company that produces the vaccine had made a contribution to Perry’s campaign and hired his former Chief of Staff as a lobbyist. In return they got a big fat gift of a requirement for mandatory vaccinations.

  3. #3 TomS
    September 13, 2011

    Why not vaccinate boys, too?

  4. #4 Rob Monkey
    September 13, 2011

    While Ken makes a good point about cronyism, did you hear Perry’s refutation of that charge? I almost laughed out loud as he said (paraphrasing), “The pharmaceutical company that developed this vaccine donated $4000 to my campaign. I raise $30 million for an election cycle, do you really think that $4000 is going to influence my decision?” The quote itself isn’t nearly as funny as the implied third sentence: “$4000 is peanuts, they’d have to donate at least another $20K to influence my decisions.”

    TomS, I believe it’s because there isn’t nearly as much of a chance of negative consequences (like cervical cancer) in boys who get this strain of HPV. Last I heard, they were thinking of trying to get it approved for boys, but they had concentrated on approval for girls first because of the chances of more serious illness.

    ERV, is there a chance that Bachmann already has HPV, only it has spread to her brain and is controlling her like toxoplasmosis controls rats? “Condoms are bad! HPV vaccines are bad! Actual sex-ed is bad, we should pretend that kids will be abstinent if we ask real nice!”

  5. #5 ERV
    September 13, 2011

    Dave– I love Mars 🙁 If Antarctica melts, thats where Im moving.

    Ken– The HPV vaccines are 100% effective at preventing cervical cancer in women. While it would be nice if Perry mandated its administration of his own accord, I cant honestly say I care about your particular conspiracy theory, even if it were true.

    TomS– Contrary to what anti-vaxers say, the government does actually study and care about risk/benefit ratios. They currently say that it is unethical to ask men/boys to get vaccinated (cost, putative side-effects) when they will not gain any benefit (no cervixes… cervixi?), even though shutting men down as a viral reservoir would help women. The ratio is moving, however, as were are studying HPVs role in non-gendered cancers. So, maybe boys will be included in the future, but we cant ethically justify it yet.

  6. #6 MikeMa
    September 13, 2011

    The teabagger wing of the gNOp is using fear and loathing of Merck’s Gardasil as yet another lever to push its anti-woman position.

    Anti-abortion, anti-healthcare, anti-medicare, anti-science, anti-agw, anti-lgbt, anti-constitution, anti-humanity. Pro-corporation, pro-war, pro-stupid.

  7. #7 Stan P
    September 13, 2011

    Just to tie down a few of the loose ends flapping around in the above posts: the Gardasil HPV vaccine is actually approved for both females and males ages 9-26. Gardasil is effective against HPV types 16 and 18, which are the most common of the several serotypes that cause cervical, vulvar and anal cancers. Gardasil also protects against two of the most common HPV serotypes that cause genital warts. The other HPV vaccine, Cervarix, has only been approved for females aged 9-26, and does not include the wart-causing strains.

    CDC recommends HPV vaccine for all 11-12 year-old girls. They have not (yet) extended the recommendation to boys for a number of reasons involving costs (dollars, aggravation, bullshit from right-wingers, nonsense from anti-vaxers) vs. benefit (preventable HPV cancers are relatively rare in males.)

  8. #8 Optimus Primate
    September 13, 2011

    …cervixes… cervixi?…
    Posted by: ERV | September 13, 2011 1:14 PM


  9. #9 herr doktor bimler
    September 13, 2011

    Did you catch the coda? Bachmann believes the “Vaccines cause autism” fantasy (or sees enough votes there to claim to believe it).

  10. #10 Spence
    September 13, 2011

    Is the crazy party in any way affiliated with Monty Python’s Silly party?

    Nah, the silly party had much more credible policies.

  11. #11 scott
    September 13, 2011

    The ironic thing for me is that just this morning I took my 13 year old daughter in for her third HPV shot in the mist of all this controversy. While my daughter was picking out a band aid(she picked the batman one) the nurse and I were discussing this very topic.

    All of my kids are up to date on their vaccinations and all of them are relatively smart. So my anecdotal “evidence” is that vaccines cause higher intelligence. Now wouldn’t that be a better meme to start spreading?

  12. #12 BKsea
    September 13, 2011

    Thanks for picking up on this. When I saw it happening, I became terrified that vaccine denialism is going to be the latest “scientific” disaster foisted upon us by the Republicans…

  13. #13 William Wallace
    September 13, 2011

    Even Dr. Ron Paul says it was bad medicine. And Bachmann also pointed out conflicts of interest with regard to the executive order.

    Also, you seem to be oblivious to the beef she has. She’s not proposing that the vaccine be banned. She is complaining about an executive requiring a vaccine by order. It is a legitimate issue.

    But of course you’re not oblivious to this fact. You’re just feigning ignorance while trying to mislead your idiot followers. That is a huge advantage the intellectual leaders on the left have: idiot followers.

  14. #14 Divalent
    September 13, 2011

    Abbie said: “The HPV vaccines are 100% effective at preventing cervical cancer in women.”

    Hmm, if that is true, then wouldn’t “herd immunity” be less of a factor? It seems to me that the main reason why vaccines are mandated is the fact that most vaccines are not 100% effective, and most of the diseases are ones that are passed by causal social contact, and so herd immunity is an important factor in preventing outbreaks. IMO, that argument is less compelling when the disease doesn’t spead by casual contact and where the vaccine is 100% effective.

    IOW, if you want to prevent getting HPV, get the vaccine. If you don’t want to get the vaccine (but don’t want to get HPV), manage your risk appropriately (and be thankful that others are getting it.)

  15. #15 NJ
    September 13, 2011


    But of course you’re not oblivious to this fact. You’re just feigning ignorance while trying to mislead your idiot followers. That is a huge advantage the intellectual leaders on the left have: idiot followers.

    As pure and unadulterated an example of projection may never be found.

  16. #16 Vene
    September 13, 2011

    ERV, I am male, I have gotten a HPV shot at the recommendation of a nurse at the government center in Anoka, Minnesota. The bit of information they handed out with it said that it prevents genital warts and anal cancer. So, I wouldn’t be surprised if there will be a greater push to vaccinate boys in the future.

  17. #17 Woden
    September 14, 2011

    William Wallace:

    Even Dr. Ron Paul says it was bad medicine.

    This would be the same Dr. Ron Paul who doesn’t believe in evolution? And who is an obstetrician and gynecologist, not an immunologist?

    I don’t find Dr. Ron Paul’s opinion on the topic to be much more relevant than Dr. Marcus Bachmann’s opinion on the topic. They’re both nut-cases speaking outside of their specialty.


    Gardisil (the one that is/was mandatory in Texas, IIRC) is, from what I’ve been able to gather, 100% effective at preventing cervical cancers caused by either of two common strains of HPV… however, there are a few other strains which can also cause it, and which the vaccine only provides a limited amount of protection against. It appears that the cervical cancer prevention rate when all strains are considered is around 70%, which is still incredibly high.

  18. #18 Justicar
    September 14, 2011

    Abbie, I think the plural is cervezas.

    Also, I fail to parse your “ethically justify” giving males the HPV vaccine. Have I been misinformed about the administration protocol for vaccines, or are they still, like, you know, optional? I wasn’t aware allowing someone to have a vaccine after informed consent amounted to unethical behavior. Of course it has risks associated with it. So does chewing gum, having sex with an HPV infected partner, being the HPV partner people are having sex with, eating red meat, driving in reverse, hunting birds* out of season in the empire, pissin’ off the pohlease, and impersonating a human being. (Those last three aren’t mine; there was a horse mounted police officer in North Carolina who worked the downtown area in a ‘big’ city there. Those were his rules for when he knew to intervene.)

    Anyway, have we really started holding these patients down and giving them the treatment Clockwork Orange style, or is it still: ‘say, here’s some information about this vaccine. Here are its potential consequences, including perhaps death. Here’s what we know it does. Think about it and let us know’ kind of things?

    *harassing women

  19. #19 ErkLR
    September 14, 2011

    That is a huge advantage the intellectual leaders on the left have: idiot followers.

    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA… HAHAHA… heeheehee… ohhhh that’s good stuff.

  20. #20 Adam
    September 14, 2011

    While it would be nice if Perry mandated its administration of his own accord, I cant honestly say I care about your particular conspiracy theory, even if it were true.

    Whilst I agree that Perrys Decision was positive for Women, evidence of political corruption should be taken seriously:


    That’s definitely not just a “conspiracy theory”!

    Do you really think the best way to get vaccinations for girls is to ignore the political manipulation by pharmaceutical companies?

  21. #21 DavidByron
    September 14, 2011

    I find it hard to believe the government would care enough about men’s health for it to be a consideration when women’s health is the issue.

  22. #22 ERV
    September 14, 2011

    Adam– Evil Big Pharma and their virtually 100% efficacious vaccine!! *shakes fist angrily* When is someone going to stop Them???

    David– Alas, that is the reality of the situation. If evidence emerges that the vax is beneficial to boys (and it looks like it is) then Im sure it will become a requirement for them too.

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