brb, sry

Sorry, guys– family emergency this weekend = no blogging.

Glad I am not a physician, glad other people are, and nurses are the best people on Planet Earth.

While Im sitting here in the ICU, Id really appreciate some funny videos/links/anything to distract me. Everything is fine (fine-ish?) now, but Im going nuts. Everything is taking longer than the physicians initially said (not for ‘bad’ reasons, just because shit doesnt always go as planned), and when you combine that with my natural impatience, and my extreme frustration in situations where I cant do anything (Im a doer, not a talker, especially not a sit-and-waiter) I am going fucking nuts.

(might do some posts on genetically manipulating humans to fight HIV-1 and endogenous non-retroviruses in bats just to distract me later)


  1. #1 ERV
    December 11, 2011

    No, no theyre not a zombie anymore. Zombie apocalypse began and ended in a week.

    I AM LEGEND!!!!

  2. #2 EvilYeti
    December 11, 2011

    Btw, amnesia is actually a frequent side-effect of general anesthesia. The doctors should have told you about this.

  3. #3 RRM
    December 12, 2011

    Reminds me of my favorite Simpsons moment:

  4. #4 Scura
    December 12, 2011

    Have you seen this it always gives me a good laugh

    Honey Badger narrated by Randall 🙂

  5. #5 Prometheus
    December 12, 2011


    “No, no theyre not a zombie anymore. Zombie apocalypse began and ended in a week.

    I AM LEGEND!!!!”

    In more ways than you know.

    Sorry about your week. I hope this one is better.

    If Schadenfreude is your bag (and we know it is)I got to spend the whole weekend in a new parent class.

    I am 45. I have diapered angry new world monkeys, can perform most minor surgeries and have no gag reflex.

    Picture Hannibal Lecter being talked down to by a “lactation coach”.

    The Bride looked at her and said…”Lady,one we aren’t breastfeeding, my funbags my call, two my husband will murder you if you bother him.”

    One of the benighted husband/hipsters in the room asked me about bonding with my child.

    I told him we were going professional since I knew several bondsmen and figured the judge would only require the baby to post twenty grand. Besides how many hospital staff can it maim before I dart it and get it in the cage?

    He didn’t get it.

  6. #6 D. C. Sessions
    December 12, 2011

    Young, healthy, athlete keels over from an undiagnosed heart condition. We caught it *just* in time though, so no one is dead.

    If anyone is still reading, and since nobody else has:

    Anyone not current on CPR? And your excuse is …?

    (Brought to you by your friendly net-neighborhood first responder.)

  7. #7 Justicar
    December 12, 2011

    D.C. Sessions: alas, CPR would have been useless in this particular situation. But it is generally good advice that one remain current, because it’s helpful in some situations.

  8. #8 D. C. Sessions
    December 12, 2011

    The most common cause of “young athlete collapses from cardiac condition” is a simple bradycardiac arrest. CPR is not only lifesaving but may be the only intervention required in the short term.

    So: maybe not this time — but if you’re betting the odds …

    Disclaimer: I’m a 60ish overweight male. Getting y’all up to speed on CPR is in my own selfish interest 😉

  9. #9 DavidByron
    December 14, 2011

    Latest and most accurate survey on sexual crime says women rape men as often as men rape women.

    But it makes it REALLY hard to find that statistic.

  10. #10 Justicar
    December 15, 2011

    CPR is not only lifesaving but may be the only intervention required in the short term.
    So: maybe not this time — but if you’re betting the odds …

    I do not dispute any of that. But I will note that young athlete collapses and dies from heart thingy has causes other than that, and there are certain heart things that amount of mechanical compression is able to overcome – unfortunately.

    I was bee bopping around town one day going by a local hospital as a matter of fact when a late 50 to early 60 something overweight gentleman collapsed in the parking lot. So, I dash over and start doing CPR on him.

    Well, it wasn’t really the parking lot. More like parking lot adjacent; there’s a field there on the hospital grounds where people walk their dogs the like.

    Anyway, it took almost 8 minutes from the first notification until an ambulance arrived. So long it took them, that by the time we got old dude in the back, we passed the ER people heading down to the field.

    The gentleman didn’t survive. I’m not saying that he wasn’t potentially savable for any reason I earlier alluded to – just that given the response time and what not (while on the grounds of a hospital even), poor guy didn’t stand a chance.

    But hey, it’s not the first time I’ve had a mostly dead person vomit on me! I think he had potatoes for lunch judging by the taste of it.

  11. #11 TylerD
    December 15, 2011

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