I get migraine headaches.
They crack me up–
My mom and bro get them too– but we all have different triggers, different warning signs, different migraine course/severity, different solutions, it doesnt make any sense.
I think mine are pretty funny. I start out by feeling warm. Not ‘hot’, but like, you know how when you need to turn the air conditioner down like 2 degrees to feel more comfortable? Its just slightly too warm, but enough that you notice?
And then my brain starts to try to figure out what is going on.
Brain: Somethings up. Are you hungry?
Me: I dont think so… but I agree, something is up. Ill eat something.
Brain: No… no that didnt help. Do you need to poop?
Brain: I think if you brushed your teeth, you would feel better. I think thats the problem.
Me: That doesnt make any sense.
Brain: Well, you wouldnt poop. Its the best I can come up with.
Brain: So… do you need to poop?
I am not joking at all. That goes on for a bit, until the pain starts. Its like someone jabbed an ice-pick into one of my eyes, and then pulled it up over my skull to the base of my neck. Its only on one side or the other, but it can be either side.
My only ‘solution’ at that point is to take my migraine meds (capsules, not tablets!) and get somewhere dark, cold, and quiet. Sometimes even the texture of my blankets make me want to puke. But I have to go to sleep. If I go to sleep, when I wake up, the migraine is gone (usually). That makes absolutely no sense. Why would a nap make this thing go away? What diseases are cured by ‘a nap’? Stupid.
Anyway, I control my migraines with two medications. One medication costs <$30 a year. The other costs $300 a year.
Why the hell is one medication an order of magnitude more expensive than the other? Am I taking some super special brand-new brand-name med?
Well, the cheap medication is
ancient generic barbiturate, and the expensive medication is ancient generic birth control.
Several of my migraine triggers are relatively easy to manage– heat, and not eating/sleeping enough. The other I have no control over– hormones.
Before I regulated them with birth control, I would be minding my own business, going to the gym, working, studying, whatever, when BAM! Out of the blue, a debilitating migraine.
With birth control, I know exactly when they are coming. Farmers could plant crops based on the regularity of my migraines now. Which means I can take measures to limit their severity, even though I dont get an official migraine aura.
I was on birth control a LONG TIME before I ever needed it for Birth Control, so my parents (and now I) had to pay $25-$50 a month for those migraine meds. And I am on some ancient stuff– not any fancy thing youve seen a commercial for. There is no valid reason for why these pills are so damn expensive– it was a tax for being a female who gets hormonal migraines.
And now, thanks to Obama, I get them for free.
I would have been happy to just pay for them at a normal, reasonable, generic rate. But considering how insurance companies have screwed me for about 15 years over this, I think free is fair too.