Humor

Category archives for Humor

Day 5.

I dont know where this graph came from. [citation needed] But its true.

Perils of the snow: Fashion

The outfit I ordered for Antarctica was supposed to replicate Vinces ‘Human Coke Can’ perfectly, but apparently to Columbia, ‘cherry’=hot pink. ‘Cherry’ is RED, Columbia, not PINK. ‘Strawberry’ is PINK. So now Im more like a human fanta can. STRAWBERRY fanta.

Christmas tree and pie

Mom to Friends: Abbie is going to Antarctica! Friends: OMFG! When??? Mom: The end of December! Friends: **GASP!** SHELL BE GONE OVER CHRISTMAS!! Mom: *blink* We dont really do Christmas in my house. I mean, we would put up a tree when us kids were little, and we would get some gifts, but thats it.…

Perils of the snow: Cookie Monster

Yes, Antarctica is known for its penguins and seals and whales and such. But I know thats just sunny PR BS from the fascist Antarctic government. You bet your ass Im going to be on the lookout for the Cookie Monsters:

Perils of the snow: Yeti

You know why all those fancy ‘scientists’ cant find the Yetis? Cause those Abominable Snowmen arent hanging out in the clubs in NYC or LA or Tibet. I bet theyre hanging out here in Antarctica. But dont you worry about me. Im a shaman. My minds like a fortress.

Why are men so looney?

A lot of in the the blagodome are having a great time perusing the ‘Encyclopedia of American Loons‘. Its been up since May, but I guess we all just simultaneously found it or something Its super fun to read– ALL my favorite loons are there! Even some that I think are kinda obscure, like Blondie…

WE DIDNT LISTEN! WE DIDNT LISTEN!

NOH MY GAWD. *calms down* Okay, back story: I dont watch ‘True Blood‘ until Monday nights. My weekends are super busy, so I just crash Sunday nights, and since there is nothing good on Monday nights until new ‘Big Bang Theory’ in a few weeks, I catch up on ‘True Blood’. Last night… Last night,…

Rule #9284748 of Science

Rule #9284748 of Science: Your side projects will work beautifully, garnering you lots of middle-author yet high-end publications, while your main project stagnates in a puddle of its own filth, laughing maniacally as you poke it with a stick trying to get it to move. YAY SCIENCE!

ERVs adventures in DC

I had to go to Washington DC/Bethesda last week for a short conference. I spent almost the entire time pooping, thanks to some food poisoning I got from a very expensive, universally recommended restaurant. YAY!! Luckily I wasnt sick when Francis Collins was supposed to speak. But he had to cancel. Still pooping, btw. Awesome.…

Sure, its traumatic, but some scientists/MDs could have used a lesson like this when they were younger. I’ve never been very good at math or science. I enjoyed the stories embedded in history and literature but lost interest when it came to periodic functions and the table of elements. So in sixth grade, when each…