Today I stumbled upon a story the elder Free-Ride offspring wrote. Possibly intended to strike a Charles Dickens-like tone, I think it ended up a bit closer to Dostoevsky.
Of course, I have to share it:
When Mice Go Caroling
When mice go caroling, you better watch out.
When they’re done, they will ask for cookies.
OK, so at this point I’m expecting a plot arc of the sort found in the classic book If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. Likely there will be some unforeseen consequence — or some elaborate chain of unforeseen consequences — following upon this innocent act of generosity. Hilarious hijinks will ensue.
If you don’t give them cookies, they will kill you and eat you and eat your cookies.
Uhh … I’m guessing, then, that the smart think to do would be to give the caroling mice your cookies?
If you give them cookies, they tell other animals.
Soon you’ll be dead broke and starve.
Reading between the lines, I’d have to say the very best thing to do if you see or hear caroling mice approaching your door would be to kill the lights and call animal control.
Don’t say we didn’t warn you.