Janet D. Stemwedel (whose nom de blog is Dr. Free-Ride) is an associate professor of philosophy at San Jose State University. Before becoming a philosopher, she earned a Ph.D. in physical chemistry. Email her at dr.freeride@gmail.com.
Given the extent and urgency of my current grading responsibilities, the sprogs and I have not had occasion this week for any extended conversations about matters strictly scientific, but there has been some chatter about Santa Claus:
Younger offspring: What happens if I stay awake on Christmas eve and see Santa?
Dr. Free-Ride: I don't know. I've always heard that he's really shy, and he doesn't like to be observed while he works.
Younger offspring: But is he really?
Dr. Free-Ride: I can just tell you what I've been told. I have no firsthand information about Santa's personality and preferences.
Elder offspring: On Christmas eve, I'd like to have some more of that cake like we had at [younger offspring]'s soccer party.
Younger offspring: Why?
Elder offspring: Do you remember how it kept me up all night?
Younger offspring: But if you stay awake, you might see Santa, and then maybe he'll be mad or embarrassed and just leave and stop bringing Christmas presents!
Elder offspring: I don't want to see Santa. I want to pet the reindeer.
Dr. Free-Ride: I have a strong suspicion that the reindeer might be just as shy of people as Santa is.
Younger offspring: Does Santa really like cookies?
Dr. Free-Ride: What I know is that the cookies we leave out on Christmas eve have usually been eaten by morning.
Elder offspring: Maybe he's just being polite.
Younger offspring: People say he's fat, but maybe he's not. He does drink a lot of milk.
Dr. Free-Ride: I've never put him on a scale.
Younger offspring: This year, when we leave out carrots for the reindeer, I want to leave out ranch dressing, too.
Dr. Free-Ride: I'm pretty sure that ranch dressing would not be good for a reindeer to eat. It might even cause diarrhea.
Elder offspring: It would be very bad for flying reindeer to have diarrhea.
Younger offspring: OK, we won't leave out ranch dressing for the reindeer.
* * * * *
When the grading is done and the youngsters are busy with other things, I will have a grown-ups only post on a couple of Santa-related issues with ethical dimensions that have been raised elsewhere in the internets. Stay tuned!
Education
Comments
Well that conversation took an interesting turn at the end, hahaha.
Posted by: JohnTR | December 18, 2009 11:04 AM
My kid came home from school with "reindeer poop," and claims it was delicious. (I didn't try any.) I doubt it would have been as good with ranch dressing involved, however.
Posted by: Kim | December 18, 2009 11:33 AM
My sense is that Santa and his reindeer are Total Quantum Nutz, acting outside the normal space-time continua. It is the only way possible for them to accomplish their task within their severe time and space constraints. Sorry, I can't do the math, but I think Chad Orzel or Mark Chu-Carrol can.
Posted by: J-Dog | December 18, 2009 1:14 PM
And the Grinch says... Bah!
Posted by: Onkel Bob | December 19, 2009 3:34 PM