Euphemisms for Penis in the Backfield

Is it possible to have a news item about college football, with people whose names remind you of musical legends, washed up rockers, and supporting actors in a Peter North movie? Could this be the perfect intersection of sports, pop culture, and dirty jokes? This story reads like a casting call for a John Holmes movie, not a preseason roster move by a college football coach. Houston Nutt (which is a funny name on its own), the head coach of the Arkansas Razorbacks, has named his starting quarterback for the first game of the season. He selected Robert Johnson (no one’s sure if the Devil will release Johnson’s soul in time for kickoff) over Casey Dick and Mitch Mustain (no relation). That’s right: Nutt chose Johnson over Dick. Sure, this is about as mature as Lance Armstrong making Brokeback Mountain jokes, but I couldn’t resist.


  1. #1 afarensis
    August 17, 2006

    And all the alumni tell Nutt “Dude you better win or we’ll cut off your Johnson” from all the perks, that is.

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