After the excitement of the first round action in the Octopus region, we can only hope that the second round is half as dynamic. The big upset last round saw Unipotent knocking off Totipotent. There has also been an interesting twist, as Internal Medicine was disqualified for a positive steroid test. That means Surgery advances to play the Invertebrates. In the other matches this round, we will see Genomics take on Photosynthesis, Unipotent challenge Phylogenetics, and HIV play Psychology.


#1 Invertebrates vs. #9 Internal Medicine #8 Surgery
When Internal Medicine was DQ’d, the Surgery team had to cancel their vacation in Bermuda important conference for a showdown against the Invertebrates. Surgery captain, Dr. Ego Cutsalot, admits his team would have much rather played the vertebrates. “We don’t really know much about bug anatomy,” remarked the head slicer. “That’s what In-ver-tay-brits are, right? Bugs?” A good journalist shouldn’t ever take sides, but those assholes in masks don’t have a freakin’ chance.

#5 Genomics vs. #4 Photosynthesis
After holding off the NMR surge from proteomics, the Genomics squad says they are braced for whatever Photosynthesis has to offer. In their match up against Respiration, Photosynthesis depended mostly on the angiosperms. Given the familiarity Genomics has with flowering plants, the phytoplankton expect to see lots of playing time — although Genomics coach Craig Venter has been heavily scouting phytoplankton. It seems like whatever Photosynthesis comes up, Genomics will be a step ahead.

#14 Unipotent vs. #6 Phylogenetics
Most teams would be happy simply to make it to the second round from a 14th seed. Unipotent are not most teams. Plasticity and versatility are not their strong suits, but they do know how to allocate responsibility between team members. Phylogenetics relied heavily on computationally intensive maximum likelihood algorithms in their showdown with Linnaean Taxonomy, but they may need to employ more streamlined methods if they hope to run with Unipotent. This is where having Masatoshi Nei and Joe Felsenstein act as co-coaches may backfire. Nei really needs to make his voice heard to ensure U.P. Gma and N. Joe Ning get heavy playing time against Unipotent.

#2 HIV vs. #10 Psychology
I have to admit, I was quite surprised when Psychology upset Neuroscience. But, regardless of who won that game, I doubt either team would have a chance against HIV. This is the same HIV squad that rolled through conference play, holding off upstart H5N1 to capture the league title. What has Psychology done? They’ve been dubbed good listeners by all the teams they come across, but a virus has no mouth. In fact, a virus has no mind. We can only guess how psychological treatment will affect a viral infection that can lead to an immune disorder.

Leave your predictions in the comments.


  1. #1 jenjen
    March 17, 2007

    Clearly giant squid tentacles will win the day. Scalpels are too small to get rid of them quickly, and th squids have more than the usual four limbs. Invertebrates to win by a landslide.

    Photosynthesis is the underdog team here. Heart will win over high throughput.

    Unipotent apparently had Jesus on their side in the last game. Was that a one time miracle granted? And will Jesus be more present now that Team Jesus was wiped out by Darwin?

    Psych vs HIV. That is a tough one. Wouldn’t want to bet the farm on that one. I wanna say HIV, but I’m going to go against convention. Psychology by the narrowest of margins.

  2. #2 lisa maynard
    March 17, 2007

    photosynthesis all the way!!! ALL! THE! WAY! yay!

  3. #3 bill in atl
    March 19, 2007

    I’m still upset that Totipotent, my Final Four pick, is already gone! Where is the justice in that?

    Given the rest, I have to think Invertebrates, Genomics, Phylogenetics, and HIV.

  4. #4 brianrees
    March 19, 2007

    But what if “unipotent” players demonstrate plasticity down the long stretch. That could happen right? Did anyone see a dead sheep in the stands?

    Oh yeah, and Photosynthesis is going to take it all!

  5. #5 David Ng
    March 19, 2007

    Well, if RPM is the referee, can we assume that Team Genomics and Phylogenetics will stomp over their opponents?

    Anyway, hopefully HIV will win – I heard Dr. Phil was coaching Psychology (shudder). That’s scary man, scary…

  6. #6 lisa
    March 19, 2007

    psychology! phylogenetics! and obviously photosynthesis! i mean it’s the three p’s! (still scratching my head over that internal medicine dq!)

  7. #7 Signout
    March 19, 2007

    I predict the surgeons will eat the droppings of the invertebrates–they’re just no match for their flexibility.

    I also call HIV over psychology because it attracts way better-looking celebrities to its benefit balls.

  8. #8 CamSortie
    March 20, 2007

    “Scalpels are too small to get rid of them quickly”

    But we surgeons also use electric saws which believe me would be a lot quicker. It’ll also help if we have an anesthesiologist or two in our line up.

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