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Creationists Love Baseball

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The Creation Museum is located in northern Kentucky, just across the Ohio border from Cincinnati. Answers in Genesis, the folks behind the so-called “museum”, claim that their “museum” is within a 6 hour drive of 2/3 of the US population. This is not true — Kentucky is in the middle of bumfuck nowhere (I’m an expert on cities in the middle of bumfuck nowhere), and most people in the US can’t get there in 6 hours.

But the museum is damn close to Cincinnati — it’s in what people would call the “greater Cincinnati area”, and it’s closer to the so-called Cincinnati airport (which is actually in Kentucky) than the airport is to Cincinatti. Anyway, it’s so close to Cincinnati (how close is it?) that Answers in Genesis is advertising their “museum” on during what can be considered the most important event in all of Cincinnati: the broadcast of their beloved Reds’ games (Reds think evolution is for suckers). If you listen to the local baseball team on the radio, you’re going to hear about the Creation Museum.

Now, here’s where it all comes full circle. You see, one the greatest Reds of all time, Joe Morgan, also happens to be an absolute ignoramus when it comes to baseball (Hey, Bob. You remember the other day, you asked me what the definition of “irony” was…). I’ve previously dubbed him the baseball creationist. Well, it appears that the Reds are going back to their roots by advertising the Creation Museum on their broadcast — reaching out to Little Joe in the way a bunch of ignorant fucktards only know how.