Doing Basic Things Wrong

Time to lighten the mood around here. So how many of these are you doing wrong?


  1. #1 Hercules Grytpype-Thynne
    April 5, 2011

    Well, as a singer at least I’ve learned to breathe with my diaphragm. That makes one.

  2. #2 itchy
    April 5, 2011

    I have totally been neglecting my horny layer. I’ll try to do better.

  3. #3 bad Jim
    April 6, 2011

    Huh. I thought my coding while reclining actually contributed to my back problems, which have actually decreased over time.

    I totally recommend napping. The first cigarette after waking is the best, and there’s no good reason to have it only once a day.

  4. #4 Rob Monkey
    April 6, 2011

    I heard the sleep thing a while ago on NPR and it blew my mind a little, although I love being up at the odd hours of the night. They said people would even visit with neighbors at that time of night. I pondered the idea of a footstool in the bathroom, but it would be hard to explain to guests.

  5. #5 Keri
    April 6, 2011

    Wow. I guess I do everything wrong. 😉

    I loved Cracked!

  6. #6 Lenoxuss
    April 7, 2011

    Cracked sometimes bends the facts in favor of maximizing the funny, but on the whole, they’re a heck of a lot better at getting things right than even much of the mainstream not-ostensibly-humor-focused media. (Two words: science journalism.) The writers seem genuinely concerned about informing us, and will often reject easy jokes for the sake of being compassionate and honest.

    (If course, the easy jokes they avoid are often cliched anyway, so that’s probably the real reason for this.) Basically, they’re like a cool older brother looking out for you. Come to think of it, the whole site is a subversion of the cynicism we’ve come to expect from Internet humor. I reccomend 7 Reasons the 21st Century is Making You Miserable, and remember this line from it:

    If some music site posts an article called, “Fall Out Boy is a Fine Band” and on the same day posts another one called, “Fall Out Boy is the Shittiest Fucking Band of the Last 100 Years, Say Experts,” which do you think will get the most traffic? The second one wins in a blowout. Outrage manufactures word-of-mouth.

    The one about showers is basically right. Our hygeine rituals weren’t exactly the result of scientific study; they’re more about the ritual, and keeping up appearences. And in the case of showering, Americans can get ridiculously hung up on it being daily. Even the writer of the article takes for granted that if you skip one shower, people around you will be able to smell it. That’s only true if you have a job that involves cleaning things, or sweating a lot.

    The one about birth is interesting, but we can’t forget that whatever is being done “wrong”, rates of death by childbirth are way down today compared to the rest of human history. (I don’t mean to make a correlation-causation fallacy, just to celebrate the progress of science. Ultimately, I imagine that squatting-birth combined with current practices would be best.)

    On sitting:

    By the way, this reclining position was common during the Roman Empire, including in Jesus’ time. So try it at work, and tell your boss you’re avoiding future sick days and deepening your religious experience.

    That’s one of the best trains of terrible logic I’ve ever seen.

  7. #7 Lenoxuss
    April 7, 2011

    Bad Jim @ 3:

    Huh. I thought my coding while reclining actually contributed to my back problems, which have actually decreased over time.

    I wouldn’t be surprised if the study didn’t bother to have the subjects do “desk work” (or anything in particular) while reclining, so that’s a key lack of symmetry right there. It maybe should have occurred to the writer of the MSNBC report on the study.

  8. #8 Bayesian Bouffant, FCD
    April 11, 2011

    The first thing you’re doing wrong is looking to Cracked! for health advice.

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