New York City is Never Boring

I have now reached the last leg of my travels. I was in Philadelphia for several days last week, and was in upstate New York over the weekend. Currently I’m in New York City.

Last night I attended Monday Night Magic at the Players Theater in Greenwich Village. All of the acts were very enjoyable, but it was a special thrill to get to see Chris Capehart, who is pretty famous among magicians. If you ever have a chance to see him perform I heartily recommend it.

When the show let out I walked around the village a bit. It was jumping with activity. Lots of stuff was still open, and it looked like there were several comedy clubs and music performance spaces in that general area. Eventually I hailed a cab and directed him to my hotel, which is on 34th and 8th, right near Madison Square Garden.

The driver took off, and if you have ever been in a New York cab you know I mean that literally. Almost immediately, however, another cab driver cut him off, very nearly causing an accident. My guy slammed on the brakes, which was annoying, since I was still struggling with the seat belt. (The little dinguses that receive the belt had gotten twisted, meaning that I was trying to plug my belt into the the one set aside for the center seat.)

Now, it probably would have been best if my guy had just shrugged it off. But no. He decided to give the other guy a piece of his mind. So he pulled up right next to him, I’m talking close, and unleashed a torrent of profanity upon the other driver that I cannot repeat here, on account of this being a family blog. Then my guy took the small bottle of water he was drinking from and threw its contents in the general direction of the other guy’s cab. Some of the water made it through the open window on the passenger side.

I thought that was the end of it. My guy took off once more and was doing a very efficient job of getting me where I was going. But then we stopped at a red light. And guess who pulled up in the lane next to us. Yep. More profanity was exchanged between the two drivers. I made myself as small as possible in the back seat. The light turned green and we took off again.

We had been driving up Sixth Avenue (excuse me, “Avenue of the Americas”). At some point my guy turned left to move over to eighth. The particular street he chose for that purpose was a bit clogged with traffic, and we had to stop at one point. Guess who pulled up next to us, on the driver’s side? You guessed it! That other guy was still pissed. My guy had actually moved over slightly in an attempt to crowd out the other driver, but he was unsuccessful. So neither cab was really in a proper lane, and they were so close to each other I was amazed they didn’t actually scrape their sides together. Seriously, I doubt I could have slipped my hand through the space between them.

The rhetoric amped up. Racial slurs were exchanged. My guy suggested they go park somewhere and settle this properly. In the back, I was hoping they would not do that until I got dropped off. At some point the other guy noticed me. He was yelling something about how my guy was driving without headlights. I said nothing and made a point of looking ostentatiously out the window on the other side of the cab.

Then the other guy took an impressively large bottle of water and thrust its contents in our general direction. Some of the water traveled through the open windows and managed to get on me. My driver got rather wet.

This seemed to satisfy the other guy, who did not bother us after that. My guy was laughing in the front seat. I said, “We do have headlights, right?” He replied, “We’re fine, don’t worry about it.” Then he asked me if I wanted to be let out on the left or the right side of the road.

The rest of the ride went more smoothly. The fare was a little over seven dollars. I thanked him for the excitement, handed him a ten, and told him to keep the change. Seriously, the other guy did cut him off.

What a great city! Alas, my lunch plans fell through for today, so suddenly I have some time to kill. I figure I’ll spend the rest of the morning at The Strand Bookstore, have lunch down there, and then wander over to the Natural History Museum in the afternoon. Tonight I’ll be meeting my parents, brother and sister-in-law for dinner and a show. We’re celebrating my mother’s seventieth birthday!

Maybe I’ll have more exciting adventures today…

Comments

  1. #1 GeoJim
    July 10, 2012

    Be sure to have a NY slice for all us sinners on the west coast. What they call pizza out here! Not always horrible, but always not pizza.

  2. #2 eric
    July 10, 2012

    So neither cab was really in a proper lane, and they were so close to each other I was amazed they didn’t actually scrape their sides together

    For NY cabbies, this is the norm rather than the exception.

    You didn’t mention any horn use. In other parts of the country that would mean there wasn’t any. In NY, it probably means that it was so constant your ears stopped hearing it.

  3. #3 Charles Sullivan
    July 10, 2012

    New York City really has it all.—–The Ramones

  4. #4 J. Quinton
    July 10, 2012

    In lots of areas in NYC, they have signs that say honking a horn is an X dollar fine. I notice that horn honking is rather muted while driving around the city.

  5. #5 Jason Rosenhouse
    July 10, 2012

    GeoJim —

    I know just what you mean. You should try finding a decent slice of pizza in Virginia. Any time I get to New York I try to eat all of those treats you can’t get anywhere else. In addition to a proper slice of pizza, I always try to get a proper pastrami sandwich (from Katz’s, of course), and a black and white cookie (best black and whites in the city are at The Donut Pub on 14th St. and 7th Ave.) Yum!

    eric —

    In this case, there was no horn use. After all, you have to maintain some standards of decorum.

  6. #6 Lenoxus
    July 10, 2012

    If Chris Capehart is so famous how come he doesn’t have a Wikipedia article? ;)

  7. #7 anthrosciguy
    July 11, 2012

    Back in the day — 35 years ago — I lived near NYC and went into the city with friends a lot. Down to the Village, mostly. One night, wandering around, we went in to a pillow store — just all kinds of pillows — just because it was open. It was 1am. 1 am. Don’t try that in Lincoln, Nebraska. :)

  8. #8 GeoJim
    July 11, 2012

    anthrosciguy:
    What! They don’t have 24-hr Walmarts in Lincoln, or do you have to drive to Omaha for that?

  9. #9 a
    July 12, 2012

    what if we will find a self replicate watch that made of dna?

  10. #10 Phillip
    July 12, 2012

    Be careful jason. Bloomberg’s food police are watching. if you drink a soda over 16 oz it is a felony.

    Be careful in New York. It has become as bad as san Fransicko when it comes to treason, disorderly conduct, and fascist dictator wannabe politicians making up rules that everyone except themselves have to follow.

    Bloomberg and his nazi food police should be deported to Syria. At least he would be more at hoe there giving out fascist orders and all. I bet that ugly turdface drinks large sodas himself. The filthy hypocrite.

  11. #11 anthrosciguy
    July 13, 2012

    Walmart sure, NOW; but even them 35 years ago? No. And I’m talking about a store that sold nothing but pillows. That’s not what you expect to be open at that time of night, alongside the pizza, the belt buckles/head shop, etc., etc., etc.

    I always remember an article in the Toronto Star (about 20 years ago) from a woman, a writer who was the wife of the UN rep from Canada, about how great it was living in NYC, where you could need a book, pick up the phone and call the bookstore at midnight or later and have it delivered within an hour. Again, I really don’t think you can do that a whole lot of places. You can in NYC and you’ve been able to do that in eras when it was hard to find anything open after 9pm in smaller US cities.

    Sorry I have to explain it to you; I guess I should have had 3×5 cards to hand out for the clueless. :)

  12. #12 GeoJim
    July 14, 2012

    anthrosciguy:
    No need to explain. It was just a joke. Geez!

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