Ouch!

Update: Well, it seems I got Onioned on this one. That is, I mistook a satirical article for one that was meant as serious reporting. I have left this post up simply because I think the essay mentioned here is actually pretty funny. And while the specifics were made up, I suspect the sentiments expressed there in are correct!

From Politico:

Paul Ryan has gone rogue. He is unleashed, unchained, off the hook.

“I hate to say this, but if Ryan wants to run for national office again, he’ll probably have to wash the stench of Romney off of him,” Craig Robinson, a former political director of the Republican Party of Iowa, told The New York Times on Sunday.

Coming from a resident of Iowa, a state where people are polite even to soybeans, this was a powerful condemnation of the Republican nominee.

Though Ryan had already decided to distance himself from the floundering Romney campaign, he now feels totally uninhibited. Reportedly, he has been marching around his campaign bus, saying things like, “If Stench calls, take a message” and “Tell Stench I’m having finger sandwiches with Peggy Noonan and will text him later.”

And from later in the article:

Ryan’s PowerPoint slides were officially labeled: “Our Unsustainable Debt (U.S. Debt Held by Public as a Share of Economy),” “Your Share of the Debt,” “Who Funds Our Reckless Spending?” and “How the Government Spends Your Money.”

The Romney campaign was furious. But Ryan reportedly said, “Let Ryan be Ryan and let the Stench be the Stench.”

Apparently Romney’s inner circle is not too keen on Ryan either:

Dan Senor, one of Romney’s closest advisers, has kept a tight grip on Ryan, traveling with him everywhere and making sure he hews to the directions of the Romney “brain trust” in Boston. (A brain trust, rumor has it, that refers to Ryan as “Gilligan.”)

If Romney manages to win this thing after all, it’s going to be fun watching all the naysayers on the right come grovelling back to him.

Comments

  1. #1 BKsea
    September 26, 2012

    Looks like Ryan is taking advice from Sarah Palin now.

  2. #2 Lenoxus
    September 26, 2012

    Of course, since the quotes about “Stench” (except for Craig Robinson’s at the start) are unattributed, it’s hard to say whether it’s really true. I have trouble believing that Ryan would (a) not realize that anything he says to anyone outside his family is public and (b) given (a), somehow secretly wish that comments like this become public.

  3. #3 GeoJim
    Morgantown, WV
    September 26, 2012

    “If Romney manages to win this thing after all, it’s going to be fun watching all the naysayers on the right come grovelling back to him.”

    And, unless you’re a comedian, that will be the only good thing about it.

  4. #4 eric
    September 26, 2012

    I’m not sure I believe this either, but Robinson’s point is generally true. I think all VP candidates pretty much tie their near (4-8 year)-term political future to the success/failure of their presidential candidate. Ryan must’ve known he was tying his wagon to Romney’s before he accepted the offer.

    I also find it somewhat unreal that three of the last four GOP Pres and VP candidates have needed such tight control by advisors. There’s a difference between advisors and handlers, and the GOP candidates seem to need handlers. If you need a handler, you arguably aren’t presidential material.

  5. #5 Blaine
    September 26, 2012

    “If Stench calls, take a message”

    I thought the magic underwear cut down on the stench?

    Romney’s not content to wait until he dies to rule a planet and evolve into a god, he wants to rule this one too.

    I really wonder how much of the Mormon bs he really believes. To bad no one will call him out on it. I think it is relevant because it indicates how intellectually responsible he is…there is an ethics of belief. How ethically does he use his intellect? How sloppy is his thinking? With his wackiness we may hear that he believes 6 impossible things before breakfast and that he can single handedly slay the Jaberwockey…imagine.

  6. #6 Lenoxus
    September 26, 2012

    eric:

    I also find it somewhat unreal that three of the last four GOP Pres and VP candidates have needed such tight control by advisors.

    Part of tat may be attributible to the recent polarization of the Republican Party between moderates and crazies, with the crazies often holding the reins while the moderates actually win primaries. At least, that’s part of what seemed to happen in 2008.

    Blaine:

    I really wonder how much of the Mormon bs he really believes. To bad no one will call him out on it. I think it is relevant because it indicates how intellectually responsible he is…there is an ethics of belief.

    It’s not like prayer is an actual sensible thing to believe in either, yet every president has been required to profess that he prays. I think the Mormonism thing is mostly a distraction (though his high rank in that church is not irrelevant to all this).

  7. #7 TC@LeatherPenguin
    http://leatherpenguin.com/wordpress
    September 26, 2012

    Lenoxus, those quotes were attributed by Roger Simon–“saying things like”– as having come directly from Ryan. He or somebody) better have a tape…

  8. #8 Juice
    September 26, 2012

    “Your Share of the Debt,”

    My share of the debt is $0. I incurred none of this debt.

  9. #9 Area Man
    September 26, 2012

    People, if you read to the end, it becomes obvious that it’s satire. In a footnote, the guy even invokes Johnathan Swift. I’ll agree that with all the infighting in the Romney camp, it almost seems as if nothing is too lurid to be true, and this is not very good satire, but please be aware that it’s not real.

  10. #10 Jason Rosenhouse
    September 26, 2012

    Drat! I’m disappointed. But I’m sure the sentiments from the Ryan camp are accurate.

  11. #11 Kel
    September 26, 2012

    Did Paul Ryan watch Game Change and see Sarah Palin as someone to emulate?

  12. #12 eric
    September 26, 2012

    Lenoxus:

    Part of tat may be attributible to the recent polarization of the Republican Party between moderates and crazies, with the crazies often holding the reins while the moderates actually win primaries.

    Okay, I buy that. They need handlers to make sure they don’t tick off the fundies and tea partiers, because perfectly rational statements that a normal person would never think were controversial could alienate parts of the GOP base.
    Sad, but understandable. I take back my implication that the presence of handlers = incompetence.

  13. #13 NJ
    September 26, 2012

    If someone said that to me, I would be polite and simple tell the to go back to heir mother’s basement, gnaw on their government cheese, and leave the important decision to people who know to run things.

    That should shut her up.

  14. #14 NJ
    September 26, 2012

    As for dying and ruling a planet, I am all for that.

    Except no liberals allowed on my planet. Well, actually we could use some servants to make our non ethanol gasoline and we could use some servants to mow the lawn, cook supper, wash my clothes, etc.

    Guess I’ll keep some liberals around afterall. Turns out when they aren’t sitting around taking up space and holding up anti-freedom signs, they can be pretty useful around the house.

    Oh, and in my world, the temperature will never be over 70 degrees, ethanol will be forbidden, GMOs will be forbidden, the teaching of evolution will carry a horrible painful eternal punishment (as it does now), and there will be no taxes becuase there will be no money.

    Thena again, if I own my own world, i could just live there by myself and whenever I wanted soemthing snap my fingers and it would happen. Just the same, I would not be bothered by 47 percenter any longer.

  15. #15 eric
    September 27, 2012

    NJ:

    If someone said that to me,

    Said what to you? Your two posts appear to have nothing whatsoever to do with either Jason’s OP or any of the commenter’s responses.

  16. #16 GeoJim
    September 27, 2012

    You’re feeding the troll.

  17. #17 SLC
    September 27, 2012

    OT but Prof. Rosenhouse’s reader’s in Harrisonburg and environs may be interested in knowing that the Bad Astronomer, Phil Plait will be there today (9/27) to deliver a lecture at 7PM in the Wilson Auditorium.

    http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/badastronomy/2012/09/26/two-talks-in-the-old-dominion/

  18. #18 SLC
    September 27, 2012

    Actually, Ryan is already off the reservation for real. Apparently, he has come out against reinstating don’t ask, don’t tell.

    http://freethoughtblogs.com/dispatches/2012/09/27/ryan-would-not-reverse-dadt/

  19. #19 Mark
    September 27, 2012

    Hey, Jason, this article was satire. None of it is real. Sorry. Check the new disclaimer at the bottom of the original sourcing.

  20. #20 Jason Rosenhouse
    September 27, 2012

    Yeah, I realized it too late that it was satire. I got Onioned! Note my earlier comment in this thread. I decided to leave the post up, though, because I think it’s actually pretty funny satire. I’ll and update late to make it clear that the essay wasn’t real.

The site is currently under maintenance and will be back shortly. New comments have been disabled during this time, please check back soon.