There will no doubt be many April Fool's gags and hoaxes tomorrow. None will have the cachet of the Spaghetti Harvest, or the discovery of Homo micturans, because you can't get the wood, you know, but they will all be worthwhile relief from the inanity and insanity of our present society.
But there is a hoax doing the rounds that, while not an April Fool's gag, is a gag about April the 1st.
The story is this:
Hooray For That Judge In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation for Easter and Passover holidays and decided to contact the local ACLU about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while the atheists had no holiday to celebrate.
The ACLU jumped on the opportunity to once again pick up the cause of the godless and assigned their sharpest attorneys to the case.
The case was brought before a wise judge who after listening to the long, passionate presentation of the ACLU lawyers, promptly banged his gavel and declared, "Case dismissed!"
The lead ACLU lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said, "Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? Surely the Christians have Christmas, Easter and many other observances. And the Jews--why in addition to Passover they have Yom Kippur and Hanukkah... and yet my client and all other atheists have no such holiday!"
The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said "Obviously your client is too confused to know about or for that matter even celebrate the atheists' holiday!"
The ACLU lawyer pompously said "We are aware of no such holiday for atheists, just when might that be, your honor?"
The judge said, "Well it comes every year on exactly the same date---April 1st!"
"The fool says in his heart, 'There is no God.'" - Psalm 14:1, Psalm 53:1
Though this is legally and constitutionally false, and the judge would immediately be censured by a higher court, I actually think it has a germ of a good idea.
Let's celebrate the foolishness of religious beliefs on April Fool's Day. If you happen to be religious, celebrate the foolishness of all other religions that day. If you are agnostic, celebrate the foolishness of definite opinions about Gods. If you are Catholic, celebrate the foolishness of Protestants. If Protestant, of Catholics. Sunnis can celebrate the foolishness of Shiites, and vice versa. Mormons can celebrate the foolishness of all Christian religions, and everybody (I mean everybody) can celebrate the inane gawking train wreck stupidity of Scientology.
The ACLU involvement is a nice touch. No matter how often these morons are told that the ACLU has protected religious speech, they still think that defending constitutional rights is an atheist enterprise, which says far more about them than the ACLU. Let's celebrate that form of breathtaking inanity too, on April 1st.
Comments
"and everybody (I mean everybody) can celebrate the inane gawking train wreck stupidity of Scientology."
You say everybody with emphasis. Does this mean that scientologists should celebrate their own stupidity?
Posted by: Thony C. | March 31, 2007 2:31 AM
You have to ask after seeing Tom Cruise in action?
Posted by: John Wilkins | March 31, 2007 3:13 AM
It has some basis in fact. For a long time now, the First Church of the Last Laugh has celebrated April 1 as St. Stupid's Day, with the St. Stupid's Day Parade in San Francisco.
http://www.saintstupid.com/event.html
Posted by: Jeff Lanam | March 31, 2007 5:15 AM
"You have to ask after seeing Tom Cruise in action?"
I almost pissed myself when I read that. Thank you, the best laugh I had all week.
Posted by: Thony C. | March 31, 2007 11:28 AM
Maybe we should call it "All Fool's Day" and avoid the baggage of "April Fool's." But we still need a symbol ... like evergreens for Christmas or mint jelly and chocolate Jesuses for Easter. I'd suggest Tom Cruise bobble-head dolls, but he might get royalties.
Maybe this?
Posted by: John Pieret | March 31, 2007 3:05 PM
This is a great idea.
I know what I believe, and I know that I'm right and everyone who disagrees with me is an idiot, at best. On April 1 I will celebrate my certainty with pride.
Every other day of the year, while still feeling secure in my own beliefs, I will accept other people and their right to their beliefs. It's revolutionary!
Posted by: Michael Burton | March 31, 2007 5:33 PM
You are an evil man, John P. Good thing I was not drinking anything when I followed your link to BTC. However, I did have a real cat on my lap and she was not pleased with my reaction.
Posted by: Susan Silberstein | April 1, 2007 2:17 AM
Susan:
I'll work on my timing.
My apologies to the cat, though!
Posted by: John Pieret | April 1, 2007 3:40 PM
I guess this should be used as the start of National Brotherhood week.
Bob
Posted by: Bob O'H | April 4, 2007 4:11 AM