Bill Gates Might Do Better if he Talked to God

Posted by Greg Laden on January 5, 2008
(3)
More »

To get his annual predictions, I mean. Actually, now that I think about it, talking to god does not work either…

I don’t pay much attention to Bill Gates (and I’m sure it’s mutual) but I was just noticing that today is not only his annual prediction speech in Las Vegas, but it is also probably his last one as he will shortly be stepping down from his position at Microsoft to get busy giving money away. At that point, I will start paying a lot more attention to him, I assure you.

So for fun, here are a few of the predictions Bill-o has made in the past:

Bob. Remember Bob? Not the one on Twin Peaks, the one from Microsoft. This was a program to link everything together and make everything “intuitive,” and Bill (Bob’s dad) predicted it would change the way computing was done. Remember Bob? Me neither.

Mira. Remember Mira? It was kind of like an iPhone but with no phone. It was for day to day use by regular people but required the Pro edition of Windows. It played music but no video. I have no personal recollection of Mira. Honestly. Never laid a hand on her.

What about SPOT … (presumably Bob and Mira’s dog?). SPOT stands for (well, stood for) Smart Personal Objects Technology. This was one of those ideas that arise when a bunch of Microsoft engineers get stoned. Everything was going to be hooked to the Internet (well, to a Microsoft version of the Internet). Like your pen, your watch, your can opener, etc. So you know how you might have a pencil that says “Minnesota Zoo” or “Acme Plumbing and Heating” on it? Like, because they gave away these pencils for free? Well, with SPOT your pencil would have something on there too, delivered from the internet. There was even going to be a coffee maker that linked to spot.

[source]

(3)
More »

Comments

  1. #1 Alan Kellogg
    January 5, 2008

    I think those three failed because one day somebody at Microsoft woke up and realized, they won’t require upgrades or patches. So it was bury the project some place deep where nobody would find it again.

    Whereto talking to God. That’s the problem, people who talk to God are talking to God.

    Archangel Gabriel: God? There’s this guy talking to you. Aren’t you going to answer him?

    God: I would, but he won’t shut up long enough to listen.

  2. #2 Left_Wing_Fox
    January 5, 2008

    Actually, part of the reason BB failed was BECAUSE it needed upgrades and patches. Buggy, slow-as-molasses on even cutting edge systems, and still failed to do what it set out to do:make computing easier to understand. It created a room environment where people clicked on objects to do tasks. But since the environment was so cluttered, it turned into an easter egg hunt for basic functionality, while advanced features were left out completely. It basically turned your daily desktop experience into a poorly done LucasArts adventure game.

  3. #3 Alan Kellogg
    January 5, 2008

    Left Wing Fox,

    Ah, Victorian Parlor Syndrome. The need to put something, anything, in every space available. Named after the Victorian British middle class practice of putting something, anything, in every space available. Usually little knick knacks and gee gaws most often purchased to exhibit the owner’s newly attained middle class status.

    I suspect their model was the American bachelor apartment, a disorganized mess.