Posted by Greg Laden on April 13, 2008 Do you know that this is National Poetry Month?
Inspired by national poetry month, I’ve gone ahead and written a poem. I call it “Ode to Ben Stein” … but really, it is only a limerick.
There once was an actor named Ben
He wrote speeches for Nixon and then
Drank too much kool-ade
While on a crusade
He managed to become a has-been.
Those who read the words of Myers know the fellow rarely tires,
No surprise a film desires his opinion, strongly held:
When they filmed him, on location, and they held a conversation,
It was all prevarication—lies are where Ben Stein excelled.
And producer, too, Mark Mathis, lying’s where the man excelled,
For the movie was “Expelled”
“From our schools and institutions, in a form of persecution,
A priori, contributions from believers are withheld!
The design of all God’s creatures should be what is taught by teachers!”
With a cadence born of preachers, this the message that they yelled.
They were close enough to whisper, true, but verily they yelled,
And they made the film “expelled.”
Though they try to make it killer, it comes off a bit as filler
When they try to say Kitzmiller versus Dover really smelled.
“It was purely propaganda!” you can read in memoranda
But the wedge-in-form-of-panda, as a weapon, never jelled,
Though it may be through incompetence the tactic never jelled,
And was properly expelled.
It would really be terrific if Ben Stein could be specific
And provide the scientific stuff with which his head is swelled.
In the movie’s poor conflation, trading faith for explanation
Is the path to guide the nation to the glory it once held;
Back before the academics stripped the glory we once held,
And the truth became expelled.
Ben Stein’s ultimate solution is to hogtie evolution
But it’s such bad execution the attempted coup is quelled
Stein is labeled as “heroic”; thus his monotone is “stoic”
As he braves the Mesozoic, where the early cavemen dwelled
If we disregard the science, who knows when the cavemen dwelled?
Any truth has been expelled.
With a stolen animation, then a too-close imitation,
These nefarious creationists the storyline propelled.
All these lame attempts at spinning, from the end to the beginning!
Lying once was seen as sinning, if the Bible were upheld—
It’s too bad it’s inconvenient for those rules to be upheld,
Now the truth has been expelled.
“A conspiracy of science!” they’re still yelling in defiance,
Though the truth is, their reliance on dishonesty has spelled
The demise of their position—and the crime’s of their commission;
The withdrawal of their permission, when the opening was held,
Because Myers tried to see it when the opening was held,
Was intelligence expelled.
So accustomed to their lying, now they do it without trying,
These reality-denying little weasels are compelled
Even if their reputation had a granite-firm foundation
It would face annihilation, like a mighty oak now felled,
As it is, ‘tis but a sapling, but the sapling still is felled,
For the truth has been expelled.
http://digitalcuttlefish.blogspot.com/2008/04/poe-poe-pitiful-expelled.html
Expelled: A Haiku
Darwin to Hitler
But who is going to buy it?
Anyone, Bueller?
I suggest you submit this to the limerick database http://limerickdb.com/ . I’d do it but I feel uncomfortable submitting one not written by me.
How about Vogon Poetry?
See, see the Vacuous sky
Marvel at its big mordant green depths.
Tell me, Ben Stein do you
Wonder why the manatee ignores you?
Why its foobly stare
makes you feel discombobulated.
I can tell you, it is
Worried by your michkleschmit facial growth
That looks like
A cheese.
What’s more, it knows
Your flart potting shed
Smells of toad.
Everything under the big Vacuous sky
Asks why, why do you even bother?
You only charm muensters.
This is stupid. The first two lines don’t even rhyme. Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
I think that I shall never see
Une filme D’institute D’iscovery
Expelled ’tis called; a travesty
Blending bi- and the-ology
The academics’ rational reliance
Censors ecumenical science!
Wait! instead for God to answer
Queries to our world’s great cancers
Dispel this irony, can you–
Where the ungodly censors are censored too?
Expelled is made by fools, you see
Losers of Ben Stein’s money
(posted at Kevin Miller’s site and removed “for legal reasons”)
Some company, Plagiarmation (*)
Once copied a cell animation
“inner life of the cell”
it’s as blatent as hell
so Notw we await litigation
A comp’ny that really excelled
at lying to rubes was compelled
to exploit deaths of jews
and get in the news
a pile of shite called “expelled”
(*) Not a real company. Kevin jokingly mentioned a company called plagermation which also doesn’t exist.
Eek!!
s/No/Not/
s/coma/compa/
s/caller/called/
I did this before it was cool!
Higgledy-Piggledy
Ben Stein’s no scientist
Making a movie which
probably blows.
Words can’t express how this
documentarian
misunderstands basic
science, Lord knows.
Click here to visit my page for the novel Sungudogo
I and the BIRD … not just a Web Carnival any more
Human Evolution
Climate Change and Global Warming
Cats, Carnivores, and various Mammals
Gun Control
Birds and Bird Books
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April 15, 2008
