Holy Crap…

Every now and then there is a moment … I see something, hear something, learn something … that makes me want to jump to my feet (if I’m not already standing) and shout “To the blog mobile!”

Well, I don’t actually have a blog mobile. So when that happens, I just run into the basement.


What sent me to the basement this time was a news story on the local Fox station. Now, I have to tell you, I don’t watch this station. I was actually watching Ask This Old House (my favorite show on TV) and when that was over, I was flipping over to the station that sometimes has the weather radar to see if the storm brewing up outside was for real (it was not) … when I saw this guy showing us a funny looking grilled cheese sandwich. The man was making the claim that just as he was reaching a state of deep despair regarding his son’s orthodontist bill, his wife handed him lunch, a grilled cheese sandwich, and lo and behold, that sandwich looked .. well … funny.

He feels that the strange markings on the GCS resemble The Virgin Mary Mother of Christ. As this is clearly a sign from heaven, the sandwich is now on sale. He hopes that he will receive enough payment for the holy meal to pay at least the down payment on Junior’s much needed braces.

Strangely, the local Fox 9 web site does not have any reference to this story. It must be breaking news! But I did find a number of other interesting things that I thought you might enjoy.

Now, I’m skipping past the story of the man over in Princeton Minnestoa who was out in the woods near a local school shooting carp. Yes, shooting carp. On the sound of the gunshots, the school went into total lockedown. that was at 12:59 Friday. That’s on the Rum River, not very far from me. No carp were harmed.

I’m also skipping past the story of the big fire over at Brooklyn Center (also not too far from me) yesterday that sent everyone in the neighborhood to the refrigerator with the munchies. But that is a whole other story.

i-166fbbed85736accc685d66bece25d58-holy_crap_01.jpgNo, let’s ignore all that and stick with holy images found in natural, or sometimes unnatural places. These are all taken from the same handy source, where there are many more examples than noted here.

A rock collector in Missouri claims he saw Jesus in a stone he found, which has since changed his life.

i-dd27971b9f1cb251d6a1b690488bd650-holy_crap_02.jpg

An image of Jesus appeared on a dog door, just as the owners were thinking of getting rid of their puppies.

I wonder what “getting rid of” means in this context. I mean, Jesus wouldn’t make an appearance because they were putting a sign up out in front of the house … “free puppies” … Perhaps something more sinister was afoot.

i-db61fe1590b70a0040de13f5832b7157-holy_crap_03.jpg

Diana Duyser sold a grilled cheese sandwich with what she claimed was the image of the Virgin Mary griddled onto one side for $28,000 on eBay, but not before tattooing a copy of the visage to her chest.

I’m sorry to report that I do not have a photograph of Diana Duyser’s chest. Or maybe I’m not so sorry.
i-f0cb901a2291048d09fadb0d61d453f9-holy_crap_04.jpg

Someone in Nashville noticed a resemblance to Mother Theresa in this sticky bun. The bun was later shellacked and displayed in the Bongo Java Coffee Shop, which didn’t sit too well with Mother Theresa.

Somehow I have a hard time imagining that Mother Theresa was even aware of the Bongo Java Coffee Shop.

i-1b63e21485a3f7c521d6a4f5d5ac5bd6-holy_crap_05.jpg

A Pennsylvania woodworker said he found Jesus in a tree that he cut down in a friend’s yard in January 2007. Some are calling the find a piece of “divine pine.”

Say no more…..

Comments

  1. #1 OmegaMom
    May 17, 2008

    Jesus on the dawg door looks more like a pirate to me. Saying, “Avast, ye lubbers! Dinna kill the wee puppies, or I’ll make ye walk the plank! Arrr!”

    Mary in the grilled cheese sandwich actually looks like Madonna or a forties movie star. Sultry.

    Mother Theresa is obviously Jabba the Hut.

    So now that there’s a grilled cheese Jesus, it is okay to say “CHEEZUS!”?

  2. #2 Elizabeth
    May 17, 2008

    Number 3 is Madonna

  3. #3 Carlie
    May 17, 2008

    The 28k sandwich looks like Clara Bow to me. And the wood piece is clearly an iPod ad, cleverly inserted into the tree by secret Apple technology.

  4. #4 Carlie
    May 17, 2008

    Wait, is the doggie door image a pirate Jesus? He totally has an eyepatch. I see nothing at all in the sticky bun, except maybe a huge ear with a keloid scar.

  5. #5 Stephanie Z
    May 17, 2008

    I saw #3 as Madeline Kahn around the time she did Young Frankenstein. I’m with Carlie on the eyepatch, though. I’m thinking an anime antihero of some kind for that one.

    So why didn’t Mother Teresa want to be told she looked like an especially lumpy Bilbo Baggins?

  6. #6 laurisa
    May 18, 2008

    YEEESSSS, the blog-moblie takes us on a trip of divine ignorance around Gotham. i wonder how long it will take before heavenly fingers reach the bowels of humanity. Then there would be no pretext of trying to sell each other shit.

  7. #7 John Monfries
    May 18, 2008

    If it’s Jesus on the rock, he’s got a particularly bad stomach ache.

  8. #8 Lassi Hippeläinen
    May 18, 2008

    I wonder what “getting rid of” means in this context.

    Maybe something like this:
    http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2007/04/creationists_drown_puppies.php

    BTW, you forgot one item:
    http://assimilatedpress.blogspot.com/2006/10/kansas-farmer-sees-cheneys-face-in.html

  9. #9 Matt Penfold
    May 18, 2008

    That first bit of rock looks more like Darwin than Jesus.

    I will leave it to you to fill in the appropriate irony at this point.

  10. #10 JanieBelle
    May 18, 2008

    Jesus on the doggie door looks like a vampire about to bite, if you ask me.

    Given the pervasive symbolism of the blood cult, it’s easy to understand the confusion.

  11. #11 chancelikely
    May 18, 2008

    The Jesus on the pine looks like he’s about to bust a move.

  12. #12 Virgil Samms
    May 18, 2008
  13. #13 Badger3k
    May 18, 2008

    The Jebus on the Pine is clearly on a skateboard. This is X-Treme Jebus, just for the kiddies to connect to. Obviously, He wants the tree to be made into holy skateboards that will retail for just under $50, discount for Church groups.

  14. #14 Julie Stahlhut
    May 19, 2008

    Number 3 is Madonna

    Well, there you are, then. :-)

  15. #15 Andrew
    May 19, 2008

    Badger… Does this mean I can get a piece of the True Skateboard?

  16. #16 mark
    May 19, 2008

    Hah, the joke’s on the woodworker. Rotate the board just a bit, and the image is of a goat…Satan.
    As for the dog door, better teach that dog to go through head first.