Ding Dong

i-a3780254d64e9d1c6962ea5b97b18073-two_mormons.jpg… door bell ringing in the middle of the afternoon. Either a neighbor in trouble or trouble for whomever is bothering me….

I look through the peep hole and see two young men in white shirts and dark pants. Bloody Mormons.

Vaguely curious as to how they are going to identify themselves, (since Mormon has become a dirty word these days) I swing open the door with far more force than necessary.

Me, angerly, “What do you want?”

Guy, flustered, “Oh, ah, um, ah, well, we’re sorta missionaries and we’d like to ….”

Me, interrupting, tossing my head back and laughing, “Mwa ha ha! Well, I’m sorta a radical atheist, so you are wasting your time with me…”

Guy, very flustered, “Oh, well, de de de de…”

Door, loudly, “Womp.”

OK, back to work. I’m trying to parse this by PalMD in which he takes down Physiprof.


  1. #1 Stephanie Z
    July 25, 2008

    Don’t miss the rest of it. Orac weighed in, too, and PP issued a partial, er, retraction.

  2. #2 MrMarkAZ
    July 25, 2008

    Maybe for next time: “So, has the Mormon Church agreed to allow outside historians to review their documents pertaining to the Mountain Meadows Massacre? Hmmm? Hmmm?”

    Bloody Mormons, indeed.

  3. #3 Dean
    July 25, 2008

    Try this approach – it has worked for me.
    Homeowner: “Yes, come on in, I do have a couple big questions for you. We can have a bourbon while we talk. I was wondering how, each evening, you decide which wife to take to bed. Do you do it by random draw, or is there a timetable you need to follow?”
    Them: “Actually, our faith tells us we can’t drink, and you have a serious misconception: we don’t have more than one wife.”
    Homeowner: “You can’t drink and you only have one wife? Why would anybody join your cult?”

    they tend to leave after that question.

  4. #4 Blaidd Drwg
    July 26, 2008

    My ex-father-in-law used to answer the door naked for mormons and jw’s. That used to work pretty well insofar as an empty doorstep was concerned.

  5. #5 Greg Laden
    July 26, 2008

    Blaidd … I was only half clothed at the time the bell rang. It did not occur to me to remove rather than add while tromping over to the door. I’ll have to give that some thought.

  6. #6 Anne
    July 27, 2008

    Back in the mid-90’s I heard a song by the Auto Body Experience, a local MN band. I still hear the refrain from “Two Guys on Bikes” in my head whenever I see the missionaries in the neighborhood.

  7. #7 Romeo Vitelli
    July 27, 2008

    You can always make a sporting proposition: you’ll listen to their spiel on Mormonism/JW/whatever if they’ll listen to your spiel on atheism. Offer a prize for who is better at proselytizing.