This photograph needs a caption


  1. #1 Evan
    September 21, 2008

    You’ve got the wrong turkey in the chair.

  2. #2 greg laden
    September 21, 2008

    Oh, by the way, there is also a “what is wrong with this picture” theme going here. Look closely.

  3. #3 Felicia Gilljam
    September 21, 2008

    I spotted the fault immediately: There’s a christian priest in the picture, even though everyone knows turkeys are avid Pastafarians.

  4. #4 Jennifer Ouellette
    September 21, 2008

    This reminds me of that scene in HOLY GRAIL where they determine if a village woman is a witch by seeing if she weighs more than a duck. Kinda appropriate. 🙂

  5. #5 Romeo Vitelli
    September 21, 2008

    “O.K. bird, last chance. Where is Saddam keeping those Weapons of Mass Destruction?”

  6. #6 Brian Larnder
    September 21, 2008

    “Alright bird-brain. You thought you’d outwitted me, but you’ve finally met your match”.

    (stolen from Futurama)

  7. #7 Narc
    September 21, 2008

    Yeah, it’s a rather silly photo. But when I remember that this is the same guy that mocked Karla Faye Tucker on her way to the electric chair, any sense of mirth I’m feeling just sort of evaporates.

  8. #8 GrayGaffer
    September 21, 2008

    Yes, of course I’m sure we got the right guy.

  9. #9 Peter Mc
    September 21, 2008

    ‘You have been found guilty of murder most fowl…’

  10. #10 Mike Haubrich, FCD
    September 21, 2008

    Habeas Corpus my ass. I’m carving your breast myself.

  11. #11 Anders
    September 21, 2008


  12. #12 stu
    September 21, 2008

    What’s wrong with this picture? Well, in Texas it is our custom to execute the retarded one and deep fry the turkey in several gallons of peanut oil.

  13. #13 greg laden
    September 21, 2008

    OK, I’ll tell you what’s wrong with the picture. Notice that there are little leg holders. But they would not work with a bird.

    So, this tiny electric chair was not made to shoot this joke photograph. It was made for another purpose.

    But what purpose? WHAT. PURPOSE!!?!????

  14. #14 Traffic Demon
    September 21, 2008

    “Do you, turkey, take this man…”

  15. #15 Stephanie Z
    September 21, 2008

    Greg, have you ever met a propmaster or a miniatures maker? They’re, uh, enthusiastic about even the unnecessary details.

  16. #16 greg laden
    September 21, 2008

    Stephanie: I know. That is why it is interesting. A turky/goose electric chair simply looks diffderent, everybody knows that.

    This is a ghastly crumb tiny electric chair, designed to work on Toddlers!

  17. #17 Gary Bohn
    September 21, 2008

    “Yes, I do believe my mind will fit in his brain.”


    “Uh, do you really think it’s a good idea for us to swap brains?”


    I’ve always wanted to know what it feels like to fly. I can hardly wait for the transfer.”

  18. #18 Virgil Samms
    September 21, 2008

    The mind transfer device was ready, and the first test was prepared using a bird and a birdbrain.

  19. #19 chancelikely
    September 21, 2008

    W: Don’t worry, buddy. They did it to me, and look how I turned out!

  20. #20 sfatheist
    September 21, 2008

    “The American Taxpayer.”

  21. #21 James
    September 21, 2008

    Even at the end, he would not talk

  22. #22 stu
    September 21, 2008

    “Well, I’ve seen enough, sorry you’ve come so far for nothing. I’m back to the Yard to go over the missing children lists. There’s room in my carriage if you’re going that way.”

    “No thank-you Inspector Laden. Watson and I have urgent business elsewhere. Good day.”

    “I say Holmes, what business is that?”

    “The chemist…..”

    “Holmes!, not…..”

    “The chemist and your surgery. I assume you still keep your shotguns there?”

    “Yes, but shotguns?”

    “Watson, look at the photograph again. The President is actually standing several yards from the bird.”

    “What, but the men in the background, the priest?”

    “Standing on crates I should think”

    “Good God Holmes!! You don’t mean…..”

    “Yes, Watson, we haven’t a second to lose, Moriate has breed a giant turkey.”

  23. #23 stu
    September 21, 2008

    Moriarty, damn it.

  24. #24 Adrienne
    September 21, 2008

    Turkey, if you think you’ve had it bad, just wait until I tell you about what John McCain had to go through for five years…

  25. #25 Stephanie Z
    September 21, 2008

    B is for Basil who sat in a chair.

    Hmm. Doesn’t have quite the same ring as the original. Gashlycrumb, by the way, is the name of my iPod. It’s a Nano.

    My Gashlycrumb Tinies poster was the major piece of decoration in my freshman dorm room. One roommate had a bunch of stuffed animals, a (non-ironic) pastel unicorn poster, and a boyfriend who liked the Gorey. The other had, well, a bunch of clothes. None of us roomed together our sophomore year.

  26. #26 Dave X
    September 21, 2008

    Our president asks: “So, how long will he jerk if you turn it down to ‘1’?”

  27. #27 Stephen Moore
    September 21, 2008

    President Bush eyes of the first terrorist to be convicted under Military Tribunal. Sources from the White House state the President misunderstood his advisers when they told him that al Qa’ida memebers had been found in Turkey.

  28. #28 themadlolscientist, FCD
    September 21, 2008

    “Don’t you think capital punishment is maybe a little extreme just for selling counterfeit AFLAC insurance policies?”

    “Are you kidding? This is Texas. Flip the switch, Bubba.”

  29. #29 Feynmaniac
    September 21, 2008

    “The Democratic Congress and Bush settled on an agreement after Bush proposed to bomb the country of Turkey”


    “Texas even executes retarded turkeys”


    “Bird: Fool, do you honestly expect me to tell you the secrets of the Bird Liberation Army?
    GW : No Mr. Bird, I expect you to die [evil laugh]”


    ” 2150 History Textbook: ‘However, not all decisions made by Bush the Terrible can be considered as giant fuck ups….”

  30. #30 Bjorn Watland
    September 22, 2008

    “Who is this Goebbels of which you speak?”

  31. #31 The Pondonome
    September 22, 2008

    “I’ll never squawk, copper. Cluck you.”

    P.S. Kudos to Bjorn’s comment. Da best.

  32. #32 gb
    September 22, 2008

    And by the power of ghod we shall witness the merging of minds to create the first Presidential Bush Turkey just in time for the Thanksgiving holiday election.

    U n I Iz Won Birdbrain

  33. #33 joel
    September 22, 2008

    Dick? Dick? Is that you? What did they do to you!!!!!

  34. #34 Serena
    September 22, 2008

    Oooh ooh, I can’t stop laughing! This is one of the best “This photo needs a caption” I’ve seen!!!
    Stephen, Bjorn, and The Pondonome are my favorites!

  35. #35 Notagod
    September 23, 2008

    OK, turkey, if that really is your name; Where ya got them duhBuhYah-Em-Dees?

  36. #36 william
    September 23, 2008

    There’s not enough room for two turkeys in this world, turkey.