McCain PWNED by Minnesota. Race Over.*

Thank you thank you thank you all Americans from the Atlantic to the Pacific, from the Great White North to the Rio Grande. We accept your adoration, we revel in your awe. We, the Minnesotan. Yes. Sometimes we mess up. Like when we sent Norm Coleman instead of Walter Mondale to the Senate in a fit of Passive Aggressive Rage (PAR) stemming from the inhumility while we commemorated Paul Wellstone. But now, we make that all up and more. We, the Minnesotan, now hand you the very head of the Republican John McCain. Bow to us, as we have done this for you, for all of you.

I give you The End of the McCain Campaign, as it played out earlier today in Lakeville, Minnesota:

* Written in the style of all those emails from Nigeria about Dear Departed Wealthy Husband/Father/Uncle who passed on with no will and 10 million dollars in the bank. Not for any particular reason. It just came out that way.


  1. #1 Jonathan Nickles
    October 10, 2008

    You know you’ve entered the land of Seriously Fucking Crazy when John McCain is taking the microphone away from you with the look on his face – “Ok crazy woman, hand me back the microphone, please go take some more of your medication”

    It’s about time McCain stood up to this kind of bullshit, but I won’t forgive him for opening up Pandora’s Box of Hate.

  2. #2 Moopheus
    October 10, 2008

    I don’t know why you’re acting so proud and all–presumably those crazy fuckers he’s talking to are Minnesotans, too.

  3. #3 Zeno
    October 10, 2008

    I’m glad that Sen. McCain managed to retrieve some shreds of decency late in this campaign, but will Gov. Palin follow suit? I doubt it. She’s busy working on 2012, and it would be such a pity to deny the mad dogs their red meat.

  4. #4 sailor
    October 10, 2008

    This is turning out to be a hilarious election. McCain has proved himself to be a maverick, we are jut left wondering whether this is really such a good thing.

  5. #5 Ghost of Minnesota
    October 10, 2008

    Batshit Crazy Lady: “I can’t trust Obama. He’s an… he’s an… Arab.”

    McCain: (Shakes head)

    Batshit Crazy Lady: “He’s not?”

    SNL is going to have a hard time topping this.

  6. #6 Ghost of Minnesota
    October 10, 2008

    By the way, Greg, where exactly is Nigeria?

  7. #7 Greg Laden
    October 11, 2008

    Moopheus: Right. This Minnesotan lady was totally crazy. Like a fox.

    Ghost: In Africa.

  8. #8 Hume's Ghost
    October 11, 2008

    I can’t imagine how anyone can find this funny. There are several videos up on YouTube where someone films people outside of a McCain rally, with the folks being interviewed sounding like they belong at a Klan rally instead (e.g., Obama is a terrorist because of his “bloodlines”.)

    Even if Obama wins this viscious hatred isn’t going to dissappear.

  9. #9 AnnieT
    October 11, 2008

    Hume: No one finds this funny. People are gleeful that this bastard McCain painted himself into a corner and is now shown to be the fool that he is. That is something to be glad for.

  10. #10 Alan Kellogg
    October 11, 2008

    It would do us all a world of good to have to review all the things we said in hate when we have had a chance to calm down and reflect. For hate warps our perceptions, leading to observations that show us as small and bitter men.

    When you reply to this comment, should you reply to this comment, ask yourself this, “Am I sure Mr. Kellogg’s comment applies only to John McCain?”

  11. #11 Stephanie Z
    October 11, 2008

    Alan, I was only uncertain as to whether you meant to include McCain in your comment at all.

  12. #12 T. Hunt
    October 11, 2008

    Mr. Kellogg-

    If you have something to say, say it. There’s been enough inuendo, code words and talk of ‘bloodlines’ to last for ten more election cycles.

    So don’t just ‘hint’ or beat around the bush; come right to the point and say what you mean. Does your comment apply to anyone else and please explain why, ’cause I don’t recall hearing anyone at any other rallies calling out “Terrorist!” or “Off with his head!”.

  13. #13 wrpd
    October 11, 2008

    It’s so sad. Almost every day I get an email telling me another one of my rich Nigerian uncles have died. I only hope all of the checks I’ve sent them helps.
    McCain’s attempts to tame his supporters have come way too late to help him.

  14. #14 clinteas
    October 11, 2008

    what makes you say that after this the McCain campaign is over?

    I reckon he would do much better if he would denounce the fascist bullshit coming from Palin and his supporters,and the fact that he did right that in that rally,has reinstituted some sort of respect for the man in me,I have to say.
    I dont think that was an easy thing for him to say,in the face of an auditorium of batshit crazy white supremacists(by the looks of it anyway lol),and kudos to him for doing so.

  15. #15 Rey Fox
    October 11, 2008

    Ah, so he’s not an Arab, he’s a family man. Because Arabs reproduce by binary fission.

    Other than that, not too bad a job my McCain in teaching Remedial Being A Civilized Human Being 101.

  16. #16 Rey Fox
    October 11, 2008

    Oops, “my” should be “by”.

  17. #17 Azkyroth
    October 11, 2008

    Republican presidential candidate manifests redeeming virtues; details at 11.

  18. #18 Doyle
    October 11, 2008

    I doubt this will damage the McPalin campaign much. On the contrary, my guess is that McCain supporters will seize on this as an example of what an honorable man he is, how he is above politics as usual, etc. Of course, that is a little bit like praising me for administering first aid to the guy I spent several minutes beating with a crowbar, but most people who can see that are already voting for Obama.

  19. #19 sailor
    October 11, 2008

    “Even if Obama wins this viscious hatred isn’t going to dissappear.”
    Not immediately, since we are dealing with racism here. But if Obama does become president and if he does a good job, the whole issue of race in the USA is going to be in for a major upheaval.

  20. #20 eddie
    October 11, 2008

    Remember the history of the religious right in US politics. These people are just crazy enough to vote for Obama out of spite that McCain didn’t pander to their hatred of Obama.

  21. #21 Greg Laden
    October 11, 2008

    what makes you say that after this the McCain campaign is over?

    McCain ahead in the polls
    McCain behind in the polls
    McCain tries strategy A, fails
    McCain tries strategy B, fails
    No good strategies left.
    Punter’s leg comes flying off during the play, ball rolls backwards 35 yards by itself. Game over, now we are just running down the clock.

    That was the sports metaphor. What you see happen here is the meltdown of the McCain strategy to endear and energize the right wing … I promise you the right wing dumped McCain yesterday because of tht event (they were already walking away from him, but his finished it for him). Independent or undecided voters were already being turned off by negative ads, and this event in Minnesota so clearly underscored this strategy … the hail mary strategy … that the only independent voters sticking with McCain are the ones that are IINO’s and were going to vote for him anyway.

    What I’m saying here is a hypothesis that can be falsified if we don’t see the expected change in polling between late Thursday and Monday.

  22. #22 Bee
    October 11, 2008

    Sounds to me like the words of a man who knows he is going to have to relate civilly to his opponent in the future, and that opponent is going to be the president.

  23. #23 Greg Laden
    October 11, 2008

    Bee: Interesting point. A little proper butt sniffing now will pay off later.

  24. #24 laurisa
    October 28, 2008

    I cannot watch the video here on the Ice (government restriction), but I WAS able to vote today. In fact, I found it much easier to vote from Antarctica than voting in Alaska.

    The last presidential election I forfitted my right to secret ballot as again I was in a remote setting. Perhaps this is why the Red State turned me down. Message here seems to be if I don’t vote for the felon, I can’t vote! WTF is wrong with this picture?