Even though I know this isn’t really funny at all. In fact, it is quite tragic.
Over recent years, several states have enacted drop-off laws, allowing parents (=mothers) to drop off their unwanted children (=babies). Forever. Some of the impetus for this kind of law is to promote lousy sexual health. Go ahead and have unprotected sex and never mind abortion, you can always drop the baby off at the hospital if you live in Nebraska or one of those other terribly confused red states.
Whatever. It is probably a good idea to have a drop off law because it reduces the number of babies that get left in random trash cans. Instead they get dropped at a hospital.
However, when they wrote some of these laws, they did a lousy job at the details, and used words like “child” rather than “newborn” and so on.
As a result of this, the vast majority of mothers have dropped off their teenagers! Or ‘tweens’ …
Which makes so much sense, when you think about it!
It’s a good thing that the laws have not been even less specific, or there would be retired people dropping off their thirty year old offspring who failed in their latest dot-com venture and moved back home for a while.
I know, I know, it’s really a tragedy and stuff. I get it.
Girl is 29th child left under Neb. safe-haven law from PhysOrg.com
(AP) — Nebraska authorities say an 11-year-old girl has become the 29th child to be left at a hospital under the state’s much-criticized safe haven law.