Let this be a lesson to all of us. We have been far too nice.
If we were naughtier, all that coal would go to our stockings, driving up the cost to make it too expensive for heating.
Also, given the link between physical and psychological warmth, it’s rather impressive that something as warm as coal could be so *uncuddly* and creepy.
So where’s all the outraged Christians? This is obviously a sacrilege.
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