Superbowl Ads: Anti Gay


First, let’s get this straight: Most football players are totally gay. This has been proven by science. Fetal testosterone levels above a certain amount cause male gayness, and also cause changes in growth patterns of fingers. So we can see which men got Teh Dose (of testosterone) while in utero by looking at their fingers. And from this we know that as we move from regular guy to more athletic guy to super athletic guy, we pass through the “gay” phase. Gay men’s dose level is typically between regular athlete and super athlete. Therefore, all super athletes are gay. I am not making this up.

However, “super athletics” among men in our culture is also linked to anti-gay attitudes. This is obviously a problem. This was not a problem for the Ancient Greeks and it has not been a problem for every single culture, but it is obviously a problem for American Culture. The fact is that most super athletes …. especially football players … are homosexuals who are required to not ever admit their gayness AND must appear to be anti-gay at every opportunity. This is a big problem.

In fact, we saw, in yesterday’s Super Bowl, that this can lead to a strong sense of frustration. Holding, personal fouls, and overall aggressive play were cranked up to the highest levels. You were seeing some serious homo-phobic-frustration playing out on that field yesterday.

Meanwhile, there were the commercials. Some of them were pretty funny, some fell flat. But among those you did NOT see during this game was at least one gay-rights commercial that was not allowed by the NFL because it was too gay.

A gay marriage equality group says a local Los Angeles TV station refused to run a same-sex marriage ad during Super Bowl programming on the advise of the National Football League. said Monday that it was informed Friday that the ad, featuring a gay family, was rejected by KNBC after the station showed the ad to the NFL Legal Department.

The group said that it was told the NFL considered the ad “advocacy,” a category which the NFL says it excludes.


Clearly, “De Nile” is not just a river in Africa any more.

Good game, though.


  1. #1 dreikin
    February 2, 2009

    Well, have they shown any other advocacy-type commercials? If not, it would seem it’s just a general policy, and nothing particularly associated with the commercial being pro-gay.

    NB: I don’t watch football, so I really have no clue.

  2. #2 Uzza
    February 2, 2009

    I don’t watch it either, but my SIL does. The other day he was watching, I was glancing, and it seemed like every time I looked, the cameras were zooming in close on some players butt. I asked him what’s up with that, and he told me they always do that. Sounds like Greg nailed it.

  3. #3 Lilian Nattel
    February 2, 2009

    That is pretty funny and sad and twisted (ie re the whole he-man having to cover up thing) all at once.

  4. #4 ggab
    February 2, 2009

    You’re a genius.

  5. #5 Joshua Zelinsky
    February 2, 2009

    Greg, please don’t use that pun about the Nile river. It is one of the oldest in the planet. It is a painful cliche. There are cliches that slip into writing occasionally, there are cliches that are acceptable to use in limited circumstances, and there are cliches which scream out “Bad Writing!” This cliche is in the third category.

  6. #6 Greg Laden
    February 2, 2009

    Joshua, what are you talking about? I invented that pun!

  7. #7 Laura
    February 2, 2009

    I can’t recall ever seeing advocacy-related commercials during football before, but I admit I don’t watch a ton of it. They also refused to show PETA’s pro-vegetarian ads during the game, although I think the excuse given for that was they were too sexual. Riiight, as if no commercials during football games ever show scantily clad women in suggestive situations. But, if they policy is just “no advocacy,” I can’t really blame them for refusing to show either ad.

  8. #8 Darr Sandberg
    February 3, 2009

    “Well, have they shown any other advocacy-type commercials?”

    According to several other blogs and discussions, several other advocacy type commercials were run during the superbowl.

    Before and after the bit with the 3-d glasses was over – I tuned out most of the game to focus on eating and schmoozing.

    When it comes to super-atheletes, I prefer rugby

  9. #9 natural cynic
    February 3, 2009

    See for yourself PETA ad