The Rapture is Not Happening : Greg Laden's Blog

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The Rapture is Not Happening

Category: Religion
Posted on: September 22, 2009 10:22 AM, by Greg Laden

You know, if the Rapture happens, God is going to take PZ first, so he can make PZ collect tickets at the Pearly Gates, then after everyone is in, including all of PZ's nemesi, St. Peter slams the door on him and makes him stand on a cloud forever.

So, I checked to see if PZ is still there, given that yesterday was the predicted start of the Rapture and all, and he's still there.

How could the bible be wrong?

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Comments

Damn! I was looking forward to the parking space of the jebus freak next door.

Posted by: gruebait | September 22, 2009 10:52 AM

Wonderful. The Rapture is beginning and I didn't even get an E-vite.

Posted by: Mandrake | September 22, 2009 10:56 AM

If you check that site again today, you'll see he's given himself some wiggle room. He's now predicting "the fall" of 2009. I think that when he predicted 9/21/09, he really meant the first day of autumn, which is actually today, 9/22/09. So pilots, beware of ascending xians.

Posted by: Catman | September 22, 2009 11:08 AM

perhaps the big guy in the sky took pity on your father-in-law's scotch :)

Posted by: dean | September 22, 2009 12:28 PM

Shoot. I was hoping for less traffic, better parking, and perhaps more apartment openings.

Posted by: Kate | September 22, 2009 1:47 PM

Oh, that old Rapture thing happened a ages ago. Nobody noticed. What with plagues and pogroms and all, who notices when a few dozen people and corpses float up through the ceiling in the night? People probably just assumed they had skipped out on their bills. It's all over, and you missed it. (By the way, all your ancestors at the time were sinners, or you wouldn't be here.)

Posted by: Nathan Myers | September 22, 2009 3:12 PM

No. It definitely happened yesterday. It just turned out to not be that big a deal. It was on the scale of opening Al Capone's secret vault, rather than on a biblical scale. Remember accidentally inhaling some of your coffee yesterday? That was the rapture.

Posted by: José | September 22, 2009 4:44 PM

Oh. Well, I'm glad that's over with.

(Maybe it was originally "The Rupture")

Posted by: Greg Laden | September 22, 2009 4:54 PM

The confusion is that most people leave out the full title of The Rapture, which is actually "The Rapture: brought to you by Folgers Crystals".

Posted by: José | September 22, 2009 5:09 PM