hat tip: Rebecca
Isotope dating with a microscope?
No, no, no, no! It’s all wrong. All that evidence was actually put there by god. Since he’s omnipotent and onicient, he knew exactly what he was doing when he created Santa (I mean Satan) to plant all that evidence there. You know, he did it because he loves you so much.
1 John 4:8 (NASB) – “God is love.”
1 Corinthians 13:4 (NASB) – “Love is not jealous.”
Exodus 20:5 (NASB) – “I, the Lord thy God, am a jealous God.”
Aw, sod it all, I’m going back to eating babies.
No, no no. Satan is the master of the earth and magically *POOFED* all that evidence into existence. God is responsible for geology – sort of, though it is Satan’s fault that he (God) had to flood the earth and destroy all life except for what was on the ark.
Unless you happen to be one of them heretics who believes that Genesis actually meant to imply that God created the earth and heavens over millions or even billions of years. But Real Christians (TM) know that all that is just more of that Satanic intervention – and that people who believe that are mere steps away from dancing, rock and roll and the (literal figurative) highway to hell.
No no no no no no no…no. No.
In the great battle between God and Satan, Satan won. But in a wise PR move, he pretended to be God, and that God had won, so he could claim the defeated God was really Satan. So what “God” says is really evil, and “Satan” is really good.
That’s why “God” put the fossil record there. Because everything he does is a lie. Make’s sense, no?
I love the crocoduck at 0:51!
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A novel by Greg Laden ...
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