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Noachian Flood Reconstructed

Category: Religion
Posted on: November 8, 2009 7:10 PM, by Greg Laden

Those people were gambling and consorting with donkeys. They deserved to die.

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Comments

1

Wait a minute! Wasn't the flood caused by 40 days and 40 nights of rain? Or am I recalling the bible wrong?

Also, another thing that always bothered me about that story is what about all fishermen and other people with boats. Did they not exist back then? Or did gØd soften their hearts to the local donkeys?

Posted by: The Science Pundit | November 8, 2009 7:18 PM

2

Why would an omnipotent god either need it to rain 40 days/nights or do it the way that silly video shows?

Wouldn't an omnipotent being just twitch his/her little finger (if s/he had fingers) and just have the earth just covered instantly in deep water?

When I die and then become omnipotent, that is how I will do it. I am amenable to being bribed. Send cash or money orders - no checks or credit cards, thank you.

Posted by: NewEnglandBob | November 8, 2009 7:56 PM

3

To me, the most horrible image is about 55 seconds in.

http://digitalcuttlefish.blogspot.com/2007/11/noahs-flood-or-god-passes-buck.html

Two children, playing silly games--
One of them is winning.
God decides to kill them both
'Cos having fun is sinning.

Time to quickly learn to swim--
It's not enough to wade,
'Cos God is going to clean up
All the messes that He made.

It's not the children's fault at all
What happens on this day;
But God is great, and God is good,
And someone's got to pay.

Posted by: Cuttlefish | November 8, 2009 8:11 PM

4

@Cuttlefish
:*-(

Posted by: The Science Pundit | November 8, 2009 8:15 PM

5

I love how they make the ark look absolutely enormous skirting over the fact that the Bible gives very clear (and modest!) dimensions

Posted by: Michael | November 8, 2009 8:38 PM

6

The ark must have been made of unobtainium or something, else that wave would have smashed it to splinters.

Posted by: george.w | November 8, 2009 9:16 PM

7

A creationist once told me there was an area in the Peruvian Andes where there is no sickness, people live long lives, and grow monster vegetables. He said it was an area of the pre-flood earth which was not inundated in the flood. Anyone know anything about that?

Posted by: Jim Thomerson | November 8, 2009 9:43 PM

8

I had thought that the ark was made of wonderflonium, but seeing how bouncy those waves looked, that obviously couldn't have been the case.

Posted by: The Science Pundit | November 8, 2009 9:45 PM

9

Well, Jim, the highest permanent dwelling in Peru is La Rinconada, but that's a mining town. As far as the monster vegetable thing, I strongly doubt that. They do have some rather unique crops, but these crops grow quite similarly in similar climates. Methinks Mr. Creationist needs to be a bit more specific.

Posted by: Jared | November 8, 2009 10:24 PM

10

#8 Dr. Horrible FTW!

Posted by: Traffic Demon | November 9, 2009 12:14 AM

11

Why kill all the innocent animals. Just give all the bad humans a heartattaque. And about the rain: it lowers the level of the water because that water is in the air as raindrops and water vapor and not in the sea.

Posted by: Eddie Janssen | November 9, 2009 1:57 AM

12

I love the "fountains of the deep" spouting (if the scale is right) 400 miles above the surface of the earth! Don't these creationists *ever* do energy calculations?

--
Martin

Posted by: MartinDH | November 9, 2009 2:50 PM

13

Couple of Texas flood jokes:

Yes, we know about the flood of Noah. My place got a quarter inch that time.

Noah had a West Texas dryland farmer on the Ark. After it was all over, Noah asked the farmer what he thought. Farmer replied, "Well, that was a good one. If we can get another one like that in June, we'll have a hell of a good crop year."

Posted by: Jim Thomerson | November 9, 2009 4:02 PM

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