Live Blogging the Olympics

OK, I only have a minute to watch while I’m having lunch.

A women’s basketball game has just ended.

Americans playing Olympic basketball is like kids pulling the legs off grasshoppers.

“So, are you ready for your next game, do you have any strategy?”

“I don’t even know who we’re playing. I only need to know who the next team we’re playing is.”

“So, do you know who you’re playing next?”

“No, I don’t even know that.”

“You’ll be playing Canada.”

“OK, whatever.”

Hahaha. The American Women’s basketball team just beat whomever they were just playing (nobody can remember) by 46 points. In games between US basketball teams and anyone else at the Olympics, that would be considered close.

This year, I heard that instead of awarding the Americans the Gold Medals in a ceremony they just sent them by post a couple of weeks ago.

That reminds me, did you see the American Flag fall off the thingie yesterday when Serena Williams was getting her medal? She LOL’s through the whole National Anthem.

Which reminds me. A large number of politicians gathered in Saint Paul yesterday to unveil a new stature of Hubert Humphrey. The news kept cutting live to the event. First they cut in and Senator Klobuchar was speaking. Then, they cut in later and it was Bill Clinton. The very moment they cut in, the former President ducked and made a move towards the floor like he was being assassinated or something, and there was other strange movement on the grainy low quality TV image by people behind him. It turns out the American flag had fallen on him (it was windy). Without skipping a beat, Bill reached down, picked it up of the floor and righted it, and said…

“… which reminds me; Years ago this happened to the Senator in our state when he was giving a speech, and he set the flag up and said ‘I nearly gave my life fighting for that flag…it would be bad if it killed me now.'” or words to that effect.

Anyway, For you young folks, you need to know this: There used to be two countries that could play basketball: The US and the USSR. The USSR didn’t really play basketball, but they hated the Americans (it was mutual) and wanted to beat them at their own game so they measured everyone and found the 10,000 tallest Russians and sent them to a Gulag (which is a kind of department store but you can’t leave) and made them play basketball with each other until there were only a couple of dozen left, and that was the team that could beat the capitalist running dog Americans. And they didn’t. And that is the origin story of Olympic Basketball.

And that is exactly where the phrase “Dream Team” comes from. The US team was the Dream Team.

“…Great last minute correction, to makes sure his horse is back on his hox to get ready for Nelson’s Column..”

wut?

They just said a guy’s rain broke. They said his groom is in big trouble. He’s going to beat his groom. Is that a euphemism for something? I hope so.

OMG this horse thing is mind numbing. I’ve seen it in real life and it is not mind numbing in real life. Must be the that the color commentary is in black and white or something.

It is also funny that the American sports commenters call the buses in London “Double Decker Tourist Buses.” True, double deckers are very often tourist buses in various places around the world one finds them, but in London, those are the buses.

OK, lunch is over.

Comments

  1. #1 Scott C Simmons
    August 5, 2012

    A lot of sports that are fun and exciting to watch live are mind-numbingly boring on television. American baseball leaps to mind.

    The U.S. men’s basketball team nearly got beat by Lithuania yesterday. Lithuania! If you asked somebody on the U.S. men’s basketball team to point to Lithuania on a map, I guarantee you that any one of them would say, “What’s a map?”