GrrlScientist is an evolutionary biologist, ornithologist, aviculturist, birder and freelance science and nature writer. A native of the Pacific Northwest, she relocated from Seattle to NYC with her parrots after earning a BS in Microbiology (emphasis in Virology) and PhD in Zoology (Ornithology) from the University of Washington. In NYC, she was the Chapman Postdoctoral Fellow at the American Museum of Natural History for two years, pursuing part of her "dream" research project by reconstructing a molecular phylogeny of the parrots of the South Pacific islands. GrrlScientist has written a blog about science since 4 August 2004 (the early years are archived 
If you live in Illinois, a heart attack could be in your future.
A friend sent me an article that describes Baseball's Best Burger that you can get only at an Illinois ballpark. This gut-busting artery-clogger is comprised of a hamburger patty topped with sharp cheddar cheese and two slices of bacon, all of which are nestled inside a "bun" made of a sliced Krispy Kreme Original Glazed donut.
Since this er, thing, delivers 1000 calories, 45 grams of which are fat (the average person consumes 2000 calories per day, and fat should not provide more than 30% of those calories), I think it qualifies nicely for an Illinois "sin tax", or at least a special monetary deposit to cover the cost of the cardiologist, don't you?
Comments
Nahh, anyone who's lived in Chicago, for instance, knows that the best ballpark food is the Polish boys they serve up at Comiskey Park (I refuse to call it Cellular One Park). They're pretty good at Wrigley Field, too.
Posted by: Orac | March 10, 2006 5:19 PM
I've been to the Grizzlies games, but not in a couple of years. This is a MUST.
Posted by: Gerardo Camilo | March 10, 2006 5:23 PM
Actually, I prefer the non-kosher dogs at Comiskey. Food always tastes better after it's been carried around a ballpark in a metal box for a few hours.
(No, I'm not kidding, but I kind of I wish I were.)
Posted by: Sean Foley | March 10, 2006 5:39 PM
Only two slices of bacon? What the hell is wrong with the Midwest?!?
Posted by: Jamie | March 10, 2006 6:08 PM
I agree with Jamie. This could definitely be made much more fattening.
Posted by: John | March 10, 2006 7:34 PM
That one "sandwich" has more calories than I eat in a normal day! And, doughnuts and beef, seriously?
Posted by: Amanda | March 10, 2006 8:07 PM
much as i'd like to say it will keep cardiologists employed for the foreseeable future, i also have to admit it sounds pretty good (grin)...
@amanda: imagine chicken with peanut butter (thai restaurants routinely serve such, though the PB is sauced and spiced up a bit, and served on a bed of spinach and rice... have to tell you, it really is good :)
Posted by: travelgirl | March 10, 2006 8:37 PM
I read the title as "Friend don't eat friends at the ballpark", so I came along to find out how transubstantiation had made it into the religion of baseball...
Posted by: John Wilkins | March 11, 2006 12:36 AM
I demand syrup
Posted by: rew | March 11, 2006 2:12 PM
Only 1,000 calories? I hear over in Michigan they're making 40,000-calorie sandwiches!
Posted by: Dave Munger | March 11, 2006 2:26 PM
Oops! I mean 30,000 calorie sandwiches.
Posted by: Dave Munger | March 11, 2006 2:27 PM
Except for the donut, that could almost be one of the larger fast-food sandwiches. And hey, it's only double the calories of a Big Mac! (without cheese, fries, etc.)
That Michigan sandwich is just bizarre, the guy comments it took him about 15 hours to eat it. (As opposed to 15 *days*, which would be a more normal calorie intake.) Since food calories are 1000x heat calories, that would seem to represent about enough fuel to boil (rummages for calculator) nearly 50 liters (~10 gallons) of water. Hmm. Did I drop a decimal there? The pics make it look too small for that. But then, it is equivalent to over 7 pounds of pure fat! I suspect he may be counting much fat that stayed in the pans & deep-fryer.
Posted by: David Harmon | March 12, 2006 10:17 PM