Living the Scientific Life (Scientist, Interrupted)


Dear XXXX,

Thank you for your rejection letter. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me a position.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite your outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position in your organization this August. I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,

me

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Oh, and did you like my chalkboard message? You can create one of your own if you ask nicely.

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Comments

  1. #1 CaptainMike
    June 27, 2006

    Very nice. Sometimes I like to apply for high powered positions I know I’ll never get because they are nice enough to send a letter telling me to bugger off. If you fail to meet the criteria at Wendy’s you don’t even get a phone call.

  2. #2 GrrlScientist
    June 28, 2006

    the same thing is true for adjunct professor positions: they never tell you squat about what happened or if they even received your application package.

    oh, wait. being an adjunct professor is equivalent to working at Wendy’s except, as an adjunct, you don’t receive any health insurance, sick leave, vacation pay or any other benefits, you eat better as an employee of Wendy’s, and generally, your pay is worse as an adjunct, too.

    silly me, where did i leave my rose-colored glasses this time??

  3. #3 matthew
    June 28, 2006

    same thing is true for good ol’ fashioned ecologists…

  4. #4 Mike
    June 29, 2006

    That sounds so professional that it just might work.

  5. #5 No One of Consequence
    June 29, 2006

    I think if you sent that back to me and you were even remotely qualified, I might have to call you in for an interview.

  6. #6 Joyce
    June 29, 2006

    Loved the rejection of the rejection letter. It was the first thing that came to mind when I ran across this clever and oh, so noir resume tonight. Enjoy.

    http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2006/4/3fezzell.html

    Joyce