A friend, Jerry, sent me the results of the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational. This is a competition where WaPo readers are asked to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Below the fold are this year's winners. Read them carefully. Each is an artificial word with only one letter altered to form a real word. Some are terrifically innovative:
- Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
- Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
- Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people, that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The Bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
- Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
- Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
- Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
- Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
- Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
- Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
- Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
- Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
- Glibido: All talk and no action.
- Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
- Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
- Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
- Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
- Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
And the pick of the lot:

































Comments
I'm not sure if it's funny or sad, but a lot of these words can be directly to ID supporters - especially ignoranus!
I think we can add a couple of ATBC favorites:
Notpology - What Dr. Dembski does when forced to cover his buttocks.
Tardalicious - A particularly bad comment by a UD poster.
Posted by: J-Dof | October 3, 2007 4:48 PM
Ha! Birlliance!
Posted by: The Ethical Atheist | October 3, 2007 4:57 PM
Does Gish Gallop induce Dopeler Effect in the unsuspecting victims?
Posted by: coturnix | October 3, 2007 5:03 PM
I expect someone will correct me if I am wrong.
Posted by: Tegumai Bopsulai, FCD | October 3, 2007 5:38 PM
Arachnoleptic
I challenge someone to show me how that was derived from a dictionary word by "adding, subtracting, or changing one letter."
Posted by: Tegumai Bopsulai, FCD | October 3, 2007 6:13 PM
Also the definition of bozone is not right. The bozone is an area surrounding stupid people, not a substance. The substance is a cloud of bozons.
Posted by: Moopheus | October 3, 2007 9:24 PM
Blobging: Splashing the screen with drops from a mouthful of coffee.
Narcholeptic - It is a weekly column, and the rules have changed through the years.
As always, YMMV if posts aren't sourced.
Moopheus:
"B-ozone" layer seems fine to me. Besides, I thought bozons mediated stupid ideas rather than screened stupid people?
Posted by: Torbjörn Larsson, OM | October 3, 2007 11:49 PM
Are you sure that was this year's contest? I'm pretty sure I've seen most of those before, and not too recently.
Posted by: David Harmon | October 4, 2007 9:10 AM
"Bozone" dates back to a Far Side cartoon which showed a layer of clowns "protecting the rest of the Solar System from the Earth's harmful effects".
This list dates back to 2003.
Posted by: Blake Stacey | October 4, 2007 10:30 AM
The Post's weekly contest is called the "Style Invitational", and it's a different contest each week. I did some research several months ago.
Posted by: Doug L. | October 30, 2007 7:50 PM