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GrrlScientist is an evolutionary biologist, ornithologist, aviculturist, birder and freelance science and nature writer. A native of the Pacific Northwest, she relocated from Seattle to NYC with her parrots after earning a BS in Microbiology (emphasis in Virology) and PhD in Zoology (Ornithology) from the University of Washington. In NYC, she was the Chapman Postdoctoral Fellow at the American Museum of Natural History for two years, pursuing part of her "dream" research project by reconstructing a molecular phylogeny of the parrots of the South Pacific islands. GrrlScientist has written a blog about science since 4 August 2004 (the early years are archived here) and was part of the original invited group of 14 "SciBlings" -- her only claim to fame. If you appreciate GrrlScientist's writing, please help her pay her living expenses by clicking on the Paypal button below and by voting for her to be the official blogger on a month long adventure in Antarctica. If you read an essay that you especially enjoyed, please nominate it for OpenLab2009.

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Warning: The Holy Bible is a Work of Fiction

Topic Categories: GodlessnessHumorReligion
Posted on: October 5, 2008 9:59 AM, by "GrrlScientist"

tags: , , , ,

I've often said that the bible needs a warning on the front cover, so I am pleased to see that someone has finally heard me and done this.

Image: Orphaned [larger view].

WARNING: This is a work of fiction. Do NOT take it literally.

CONTENT ADVISORY: Contains verses descriptive or advocating suicide, incest, bestiality, sadomasochism, sexjual activity in a violent context, murder, morbid violence, use of drugs or alcohol, homosexuality, voyeurism, revenge, undermining of authority figures, lawlessness, and human rights violations and atrocities.

EXPOSURE WARNING: Exposure to contents for extended periods of time or during the formative years in children may cause delusions, hallucinations, decreased cognitive and objecive reasoning abilities, and, in extreme cases, pathological disorders, hatred, bigotry, and violence including, but not limited to fanatacism, murder, and genocide.

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Comments

1

OMG... that is soooooooooooooo cool!

Yippieeeeeeeeee!

...and I saw it in writing, so it must be true!

Posted by: Beverly | October 5, 2008 12:21 PM

2

Thanks for that. About time too.

Posted by: 1hen2ducks | October 5, 2008 12:53 PM

3

Shouldn't it be rated as containing fantasy violence?

Posted by: WTFWJD | October 5, 2008 1:07 PM

4

What a wonderful world it would be.

Posted by: RM | October 5, 2008 2:06 PM

5

Here's a similar one you can buy: http://www.zazzle.com/bible_warning_sticker-217586842335457670

A simpler one: http://www.ffrf.org/shop/products/

AAH - here is one that is almost the same in appearance, and I think has the same wording, although I haven't checked: http://bumperstickers.cafepress.com/item/bible-warning-sticker-rectangular/106883639

I'm curious, though - did you just find out about this? It's at least two years old (the oldest post I saw was on the Rational Responders from Dec 2006).

Posted by: Badger3k | October 5, 2008 4:39 PM

6

I'm all for science. So, regarding your assertions about the Bible, why don't you prove it?

Posted by: Aaron Blumer | October 5, 2008 5:00 PM

7

Old. I saw this a year ago. Get with the times!

It is awesome, though.

Posted by: Hank | October 5, 2008 8:17 PM

8

@Aaron Blumer - They're not GS's assertions, they're the assertions of whoever it was who wrote the sticker caption.

But just to start with, the incest was where Lot's daughters slept with him after Sdom and Gomorrah were destroyed, to say nothing of the incest which must have been rife, if the Bible were true, after Adam and Eve were formed. They being the only two humans must have meant that every single relationship was incestuous - including the one between Adam and Eve, considering that Eve was a clone of Adam.

Murder is rife throughout the Bible, starting with Cain and Able, and the murder runs to the pillage of countless villages, the slaughtering of male children and the kidnaping and rape of female children.

God himself wiped out the whole world with a flood, according to the Bible. The appalling suffering caused by that is inexcusable. How would you feel, forced to watch your children drown because you lack the strength to keep holding them above the water?

Assuming, of course, that you buy into the whole mythology in the first place.

That do for you?

Posted by: Ian | October 6, 2008 8:28 AM

9

These comments are as lopsides and dishonest as anything I ever read. They come from a person who does NOT really know what is in the Bible. A text without a context almost always becomes a pretext.

Terry Finley

Posted by: Terry Finley | October 6, 2008 9:30 AM

10

oh please, terry. i went to a very strict lutheran (missouri synod) grade school and then won a scholarship to a lutheran (missouri synod) pre-seminary college, which i attended for two years. if you know anything about lutherans, you know that the missouri synod sect is even more wacky than devout conservative catholics. while a student, i spent a lot of time reading, studying and memorizing large chunks of the bible. i also read, studied and memorized the bible in latin and even a little in greek. so you're going to have to choose a different way of belittling me.


Posted by: "GrrlScientist" | October 6, 2008 4:22 PM

11

I really have little doubt there are such things in one or more versions of the bible.
It would be nice if whoever hazards to make such assertions would at least note chapter and verse - and *which* bible. :)

This reminds me of the time I noticed J.R.R Tolkien listed as an editor of "The New Jerusalem Bible". A bit of a shock - that.

Posted by: Anon | October 8, 2008 2:35 AM

12

what these people have said about the Bible is so wrong it is an amazing book AND SHOULD BE TAKEN LITERALY FOR YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT!!

Posted by: rodeo | February 5, 2009 5:46 PM

13

I'm all for science. So, regarding your assertions about the Bible, why don't you prove it?
zamora
The Bible

Posted by: zamora | May 6, 2009 7:50 AM

14

I'm all for science. So, regarding your assertions about the Bible, why don't you prove it?

The Bible

Posted by: zamora | May 6, 2009 8:02 AM

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