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Topic Categories: Humor • Satire • Streaming videos
Posted on: July 9, 2009 6:59 AM, by "GrrlScientist"
tags: Onion News Network, research, monkeys, medical news, humor, satire, streaming video
In this video, ONN reports on a newly published study indicating that repeatedly stabbing monkeys with sharpened objects may have an adverse effect on their health and longevity [1:08]
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Comments
Clearly a ploy by BigPharma to market anti-stabbing drugs to people who don't need them.
Posted by: becca | July 9, 2009 8:49 AM
this is animal abuse. where's PETA when you need them??
Posted by: kat | July 10, 2009 4:04 PM
this is satire. where is intelligence when you need it??
Posted by: anon | July 10, 2009 4:09 PM
"This is animal abuse!"
*beat*
"THIS IS SATIRRRE!" *kicks*
Posted by: PhatChance | July 10, 2009 6:57 PM
This is a joke right? wtf?
Posted by: huh | July 11, 2009 11:17 AM
This is a joke right? wtf?
Posted by: huh | July 11, 2009 11:19 AM
its the onion news... of course its real
Posted by: low_rida | July 11, 2009 1:46 PM
I like the ticker at the bottom.
Giraffe mauling tops the list of least likely way to die.
Phoenix, AZ the most likely city to die in during a layover.
I didn't hear how much the monkeys bled. They need to do another study to see how much blood each money looses per stab wound. Will a monkey bleed out after two stab wounds? three?
Posted by: news ticker | July 11, 2009 1:50 PM
Seriously? You can hurt animals just by stabbing them? That's some groundbreaking news there.
this has to be satire.
Posted by: SB420 | July 11, 2009 5:22 PM
Just an FYI. The Onion is a website made ONLY for sarcasm.
Posted by: Jonathan | July 11, 2009 5:45 PM