GrrlScientist is an evolutionary biologist, ornithologist, aviculturist, birder and freelance science and nature writer. A native of the Pacific Northwest, she relocated from Seattle to NYC with her parrots after earning a BS in Microbiology (emphasis in Virology) and PhD in Zoology (Ornithology) from the University of Washington. In NYC, she was the Chapman Postdoctoral Fellow at the American Museum of Natural History for two years, pursuing part of her "dream" research project by reconstructing a molecular phylogeny of the parrots of the South Pacific islands. GrrlScientist and her five parrots relocated to Germany at the end of November 2009, where she will write a book while continuing to write her blog and providing much hilarity to the natives by learning to speak German. (Meanwhile, her parrots will continue to nibble on her extensive personal library.) If you appreciate GrrlScientist's writing, you can help pay her living expenses by hiring her to "blog" your conference, speak at your organization or write articles for your publication (or by clicking on the Paypal button below).
tags: coming out, sex advice, homosexuality, evangelical families, Dan Savage, streaming video
Dan Savage moved to Seattle while I lived there and began writing a sex advice column for The Stranger. I never missed reading his column because he was honest and accurate and entertaining. Regardless of where in the world I've been since, I have followed his career. This video clip features Dan at University of Maryland, speaking on the tough subject of coming out to a very Christian family. It gives you a little perspective when you hear the story he tells of the abuse that a boyfriend of his suffered at the hands of his father -- an evangelical Baptist minister.
Brain & Behavior
Education
Comments
When I read your title, I assumed you were talking about atheism. Still, it was worth a listen. The idea of giving the parents a period to get over their mad is good, if they're told at the outset.
But a year of abuse? Make it thirty days. "You can abuse me for thirty days. If you're not over it by then, you won't get to abuse me the rest of my life because you won't be in my life. All sales are final, so you have thirty days to decide the rest of your life."
Posted by: 6EQUJ5 | August 29, 2009 7:46 AM
i think the principles are the same, whether you are gay or atheist. but i agree with you that the abuse should not be allowed to continue for longer than 30 days. dan savage is much more patient in real life than i imagined, based on reading his columns and books.
Posted by: "GrrlScientist" | August 29, 2009 12:31 PM
Well, he is talking about a year where you don't live with them.
Posted by: The Ridger | August 29, 2009 3:53 PM
Unfortunately my mother died when I was 13 just turning 14. So I spent the next five years of my life with my father. Left home at 19 and never looked back.
I don't have a terribly good relationship with my father but not for the reason you'd suspect. He's fine with my being gay. But he's still a racist bastard who doesn't deserve the time of day.
I've even caught him out spouting white supremacist dogma.
Not to mention he's rabidly opposed to marriage equality, even going so far as to sign on and donate money. When I found out I questioned him about it, asking if my relationship of then 15 years had any less validity than his, and how could he sign that petition.
His answer, because his pastor told him to do so. I bet this very same pastor is a racist asshole too.
This is all the more poignant since my SO is black.
So my relationship with my father is relegated to a phone call every couple months. I barely ever see him.
Posted by: Tony P | August 29, 2009 5:52 PM
I had a similar experience about coming out as a 'biologist'.
Posted by: djlactin | August 30, 2009 7:53 AM