tags: Christmas Cake recipe, fruitcake, holidays
I just had to share this amazing Christmas Cake recipe that I am going to try this year -- just in time to celebrate my first Christmas!
Ingredients:
- 2 cups flour
- 1 stick butter
- 1 cup of water
- 1 tsp baking soda
- 1 cup of sugar
- 1 tsp salt
- 1 cup of brown sugar
- Lemon juice
- 4 large eggs
- Nuts
- 2 bottles wine
- 2 cups of dried fruit
Sample the wine to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the wine again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the wine is still OK. Try another cup... Just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Pick the frigging fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner.. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the wine to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Check the wine. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or some fink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the wine and wipe counter with the cat.
Go to Tesco and buy cake.
Humanities & Social Science
Comments
Seems like living in Germany has improved your sense of humor. Ship me some of that cake!
Posted by: Tabor | December 14, 2009 4:31 PM
Mmm Mmm Mmmmm! My doesn't that sound tasty!
They got Tesco in Germany too, eh? Are they sort of like WalMart is here?
Posted by: Jeff Knapp | December 14, 2009 7:47 PM
There's no way that tastes as good as it looks!
Posted by: joshua | December 14, 2009 11:44 PM
Wow - those glazed fruits are amazing - still shaped like pears/figs/etc rather than shriveled mummy-like things.
Such a pity I'm not allowed to have sugar anymore; nothing like a nice dense lump of wheat dripping with Gran Marnier and a dark rum and peppered with mummified sugary fruits - served warm with brandy and ice cream.
Posted by: MadScientist | December 15, 2009 5:05 AM
why Tesco? Since the cat didnt jump out of the window after the cake, eat the cat. if the cat scratches your nose n eyes, butter the cat and swallow it whole.
Posted by: Masood | December 15, 2009 12:00 PM