As many have pointed out, Isaac Hayes, who happens to be a Scientologist, quit his role as Chef on South Park last week, unhappy that the show had produced an episode that made fun of Scientology. Apparently, it’s OK with him if South Park makes fun of Christianity, Judaism, and Islam, but say anything derogatory about his religion, and Hayes is suddenly not so open-minded.

Now, Trey Parker and Matt Stone have released this statement through their lawyer in response to Comedy Central’s recent pulling of a repeat showing of the episode in question in response to pressure by Tom Cruise on Viacom (and perhaps to Hayes’ departure as well):


Scientology, you may have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for Earth has just begun! Temporarily anozinizing our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies. Curses and drat! You have obstructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail! Hail Xenu!!!

— Trey Parker and Matt Stone, servants of the dark lord Xenu

Heh. I love it. Appropriately ridiculous, as it should be.


  1. #1 Fragano Ledgister
    March 19, 2006

    I worry about Thetans, given that their home world is a letter of the Greek alphabet…

  2. #2 tim gueguen
    March 19, 2006

    Its interesting how Nancy Cartwright, aka the voice of Bart Simpson(and Rufus the Naked Mole Rat on Kim Possible), apparently has thicker skin than Hayes. The Movementarian episode of The Simpsons could be seen in part as a poke at Scientology yet she continues in the role. Cartwright is a member of the group, even appearing in Scientology infomercials.

  3. #3 Abel PharmBoy
    March 19, 2006

    I’ve long admired Trey and Matt for their no-BS style – thankfully, they haven’t let fame and cash stand in the way of telling it like it is.

  4. #4 Ick of the East
    March 19, 2006

    The funny thing is that I would have never downloaded and watched the episode without the uproar from the Scientologists.

    When are people ever going to learn that if you don’t want people to watch or listen to something, you need to KEEP QUIET about it!

    If any of you haven’t seen it, it’s well worth the download. Like the Grateful Dead, Trey and Parker are cool on the idea of free sharing.

  5. #5 BronzeDog
    March 19, 2006

    Dangit. Noticed the episode coming up on my DVR’s TV guide, and set it to record. Now that I check, no, it wasn’t that episode. And here I was hoping I’d be able to make bootlegs or something.

  6. #6 Graculus
    March 19, 2006


  7. #7 Ick of the East
    March 19, 2006
  8. #8 Ali
    March 20, 2006

    The whole ep on youtube:

  9. #9 Socialist Swine
    March 20, 2006

    Tom Cruise is a douche bag. That’s all I want to say.

  10. #10 pun the librarian
    March 20, 2006

    Religious nutties are offended by a cartoon and try to stop it from being seen. Who could have guessed.

    Anybody interested in making a quick buck? Design and make flags of South Park for the rampaging scientologists to burn. They’ll go loony as Cruise on Oprah and hit the streets soon demanding apology from anyone and everyone and needing flags to burn as there are no embassies of South Park to loot and torch.

  11. #11 Ahistoricality
    March 20, 2006

    What I don’t get is why he’s protesting the reruns instead of the original episode. I could understand if he’s not in it, not knowing until it was aired, but why not just resign then? Did he think the network might bow to pressure over reruns (and fans might not notice) that they wouldn’t for first-run episodes?

    I don’t get the timing.

  12. #12 Orac
    March 20, 2006

    Obviously Tom Cruise got to him. 😉

  13. #13 Kiwiwriter
    March 20, 2006

    I knew that Scientology was as weird as it gets, a giant con game, and a vengeful organization, but until I saw that episode of South Park, I didn’t know about their space alien battle theology. Thank you, Matt and Trey, for enlightening me!

  14. #14 nolo
    March 20, 2006

    Tom Cruise is a douche bag. That’s all I want to say.

    Oh, come on. Douchebags are useful, and are more likely to have been near a hoo-hoo.

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