Thanks a lot, Tim

Normally I like Tim Gueguen. He’s an old trenchmate from Usenet and has been blogging longer than I have. But about a week ago, he commented on my facetious piece about a “celebrity nutritionist” with some odd ideas about medicine dating back to the 16th century and involving including dessicated animal “glands” in the supplements that he sells and how he’s been rewarded with wealth, hobnobbing with rock stars, and marrying a porn star:

Deliberate attempts at generating blog traffic have never really worked for me. On the other hand I often get hits for folks looking for porn for cartoons given that I’ve discussed cartoons airing on Canadian tv more than once. Its kind of disturbing when you get hits like “Juniper Lee porn,” said Ms. Lee being the 10 year old protagonist of a cartoon show currently airing on Canadian and American tv.

So what do I find when looking over some of my referral logs the other day?

My post showing up as the number one result in Google searches for “Juniper lee cartoon porn“! (As of three days ago, anyway; now it seems to be down the list a couple of pages–but still above Tim’s blog.)

Thanks, Tim! Now, the pervs Googling for Juniper Lee are finding my blog before yours. You know, it creeps me out that there are people out there doing searches like that.

Wait, I just realized something. I probably just guaranteed that this post will also show up on such searches! There’s no one to blame for that one but myself, but I still wanted to show the odd searches that can lead to one’s blog.

I tell ya, though, you just can’t win. But I can tell all the pervs out there who come across this article searching for smut: Does your mama know what you’re doing online?

One consolation from the fallout from my post about Don Lemmon (which I’m now almost regretting having written), however, is that my skeptical look at Lemmon’s “glandular therapy” is now referenced on the Wikipedia entry for Asia Carrera and also shows up in searches for “Don Lemmon nutritionist” (alas, though, not on the first page of search results). More promisingly, as of last night a search for “Don Lemmon skeptical” brought up my post as the number two result after Don’s website itself. Better yet, guess what came up first in a search for “Don Lemmon skeptic“?

Ah, the perils and rewards of Google!


  1. #1 EoR
    May 12, 2006

    Don’t these people know that genitalia are legally banned in cartoon characters (unless you happen to be Fritz the Cat – That’s why the clothing laws are so lax.

    Now, if they’d been searching for “cartoon animal glands” that I could understand. Google gives 217,000 hits for that particular phrase. Though, unfortunately, Respectful Insolence doesn’t appear until the fourth page of results.

  2. #2 EoR
    May 12, 2006

    Of course, if anyone is silly enough to click on that URI, it should be without the trailing bracket and period.

  3. #3 Alain
    May 12, 2006

    I tell ya, though, you just can’t win. But I can tell all the pervs out there who come across this article searching for smut: Does your mama know what you’re doing online?

    She don’t want to know 🙂

    now what are you doing at 3h00am ?


  4. #4 tim gueguen
    May 12, 2006

    Hey, all hits are good. Right?


  5. #5 Orac
    May 12, 2006

    ow what are you doing at 3h00am ?

    Sleeping. Before I went to bed, I scheduled the post to go up at 3:00 AM.

  6. #6 Zeno
    May 13, 2006

    I got a sudden bulge in traffic when I wrote a post on my nom de blog, which I’ve been using as my on-line alias for many years. After providing some tidbits about Zeno of Elea (of paradox fame) and Zeno of Citium (the Stoic), I wrapped up with some comments on “other” Zenos, including Nikki Zeno (Lowrider cover girl for March 2003). According to Site Meter, the sudden surge in hits on my blog came mostly from people who wanted to read more (or see more?) about Nikki. Oh, well.

    I got another rush of traffic when I wrote a whiny reminiscence about the oppressive physical education system in my high school in the sixties; Google listed my post near the top of its search for “boys in white shorts”.

    Now that I know how it’s done, I’m just one short step from turning into a blogwhore. Here are links for the curious:

    Who is Zeno?

    The time of red and green

New comments have been temporarily disabled. Please check back soon.